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[Karnewarrior]

It's like the static on a video camera when it's broken, or the loud, ear-rending roar of a television picking up ambient signals. There's a throbbing pain behind your head, and you clutch at it and wheeze, feeling like you might throw up, like you might fall over and die at any second. There's a strange hollow feeling in your stomache- no, your heart- no, your head... somewhere. You're losing cohesion. Your soul is drifting away, your body nothing but a meatpuppet, a vessel to carry memories.
Isn't that all you are?

With a sharp crash it all comes back and you rip at tear at your ears, anything to get the sounds to stop. You clench shut your eyes, anything to get the static to stop. There's nothing here. There's nothing here! It's sucking you in like a vacuum, drawing you away, ripping you apart because there's nothing here!
The sound of a pair of car wheels screeching. People shouting. People leaving. There's crimson where there's no color to be seen. Everything is black and white in a world where black and white are stained red.

The static grows more quiet. Drops of blood vanish into the juttering depths below you, dropping through the ground you can't be standing on, because it doesn't exist.
You're going to die here, darling.

Through the fog, images begin to appear. A shield with some strange egg shape on the front.
Don't worry, I can make it better.

"Well now, you don't look to well off. I'm guessing you're experiencing significant pain right now. Your intestines are on the sidewalk. A pity most people here just run away."
He's a liar and a deceiver.

"I'm kind of surprised. She has enormous potential."
"Does she?" He speaks in half truths and Faustian deals - The Devils Duo must not be trusted

"Indeed. And I think she's awake."
You are a sinner.

Suddenly you're on the ground, and there's hot breath in your ear. The nausea and pain in your abdomen reaches a crescendo.
"I can make all of this better, but I need you to do something for me."
You should never have taken that deal.

The static blinks out into something darker than black. It hurts to look at it, but you really don't want to look at the only other thing with you.
Two glassy, crystalline eyes, and a cats mouth.

"Make a wish."

[MAKE A WISH]

[X] I wish my parents still loved me.

[X] I wish I didn't have to hurt like this.

[X] I wish I could have been quicker.

[X] I wish I had more time.

[X] I wish I was stronger than I was.

[X] I wish I could go back and fix this mess.

[X] I wish I had made a little more, and broke a little less.

[X] I wish...
   [X] Write in

[RULES]
1) Forum rules apply, obviously.
2) You are always free to take more than one action, assuming they are not mutually exclusive. The order can be determined in your post by the order you choose them. That said, not all actions that are inclusive of each other sync properly, and people may think you're a bit insane if you jump around too much. Treat this as a Role-play, not a comedy.
3) While the MC's personality is determined, to an extent, by your choices, her knowledge is not. Please take this into account.
4) Tasks with a random element or some measure of difficulty will be rolled on a d100. Choices involving these actions will be labeled with a percentage. This is the percentage chance of completing that action. So if [X] Stop crying [2%] is chosen, a d100 is rolled and anything higher than a 98 will be a success.
5) Much like a roguelike, the game cares not a whit for your survival. NPCs play by the same rules you do, and likely want to kill you brutally. If a witch rolls a critical success and you do not, expect to be maimed at the very least, restart from the beginning more likely.
6) If your MC dies by the dice fucking her over, you may petition for a reset to the last success roll. If she dies because you thought you should make a funny joke vote and not label it properly, it's set in stone, and you will restart. From the beginning. Suicide ends the game. Period. Deal with your choices.
7) The caustic world of PMMM fucking hates you and wants you to die. Please act like it.
8/) More rules and amendments may be added at any time I feel like. I'd like not to railroad as much as possible but PMMM has a certain feel to it and to do it justice much of Bay12 humor is probably going to end up hurting people you care about.
9) Label joke votes as [jk], [Q], or [J]. all [X] votes will be taken seriously.

[Harbingerjm]

I wish humans never died.

[Again_Dejavu]

huh
Dat hidden text doe

[IamanElfCollaborator]

((Make a wish. You're a magical girl-to-be making a wish to Kyubey. DO EET))

I wish humans never died.

[Karnewarrior]

Y'all do realize this is the Madokaverse, right?

There are so many fun ways to fuck you over with a wish like that.
Like making everyone completely unable to die, meaning everyone on the planet is now a magical girl, and thus, a witch. The planet is covered in labyrinths, drawing in and feeding on anyone who was born with enough potential. You just turned everyone on earth into a mindless predator for the fourteen-year-old girls that survive.

Essentially, no, it won't work. Please don't break the game before it begins. I still need to work on FLS and not be busy unbrainfucking how to work a power like that into something fun to play.

[tntey]

I wish I could turn into pokemon

[Harbingerjm]

Y'all do realize this is the Madokaverse, right?

There are so many fun ways to fuck you over with a wish like that.
Like making everyone completely unable to die, meaning everyone on the planet is now a magical girl, and thus, a witch. The planet is covered in labyrinths, drawing in and feeding on anyone who was born with enough potential. You just turned everyone on earth into a mindless predator for the fourteen-year-old girls that survive.

Essentially, no, it won't work. Please don't break the game before it begins. I still need to work on FLS and not be busy unbrainfucking how to work a power like that into something fun to play.

That's why it's moe, though.

[Karnewarrior]

Y'all do realize this is the Madokaverse, right?

There are so many fun ways to fuck you over with a wish like that.
Like making everyone completely unable to die, meaning everyone on the planet is now a magical girl, and thus, a witch. The planet is covered in labyrinths, drawing in and feeding on anyone who was born with enough potential. You just turned everyone on earth into a mindless predator for the fourteen-year-old girls that survive.

Essentially, no, it won't work. Please don't break the game before it begins. I still need to work on FLS and not be busy unbrainfucking how to work a power like that into something fun to play.

That's why it's moe, though.

Killing yourself to resurrect Hitler is not moe. Moe is not what is happening here. Stupid is what is happening here because your mc is black.

Please do not be the guy who resurrects Hitler that is how people lose friends.

[Harbingerjm]

Y'all do realize this is the Madokaverse, right?

There are so many fun ways to fuck you over with a wish like that.
Like making everyone completely unable to die, meaning everyone on the planet is now a magical girl, and thus, a witch. The planet is covered in labyrinths, drawing in and feeding on anyone who was born with enough potential. You just turned everyone on earth into a mindless predator for the fourteen-year-old girls that survive.

Essentially, no, it won't work. Please don't break the game before it begins. I still need to work on FLS and not be busy unbrainfucking how to work a power like that into something fun to play.

That's why it's moe, though.

Killing yourself to resurrect Hitler is not moe. Moe is not what is happening here. Stupid is what is happening here because your mc is black.

Please do not be the guy who resurrects Hitler that is how people lose friends.

Because I missed the cleartext the first time: I don't see how "stop people from dying" must equate to "rip out their souls and shove them in gems, corrupting them into twisted monsters of despair."

[Harry Baldman]

I wish my intestines were back in their proper place, for one. That's a bit concerning, provided it's true.

And if that's not quite what you're looking for, I wish to know the truth of everything.

And if that's still not good enough, I wish to be a large turtle, dwelling in the sea for interminable years, away from all that I find bothersome in life.

[Iituem]

I wish for more wishes.

[kj1225]

Write in suggestion...

Wish for unlimited wishes.

[Karnewarrior]

[X] I wish for more wishes
That was a mistake.

"AH!"

You jerk awake, catapulting yourself to a sitting position. Your breath comes in ragged, pained gasps, your chest searing white-hot as you fall back to look up at the familiar ceiling above you.

You scrabble slightly at your collar to lift up your nightshirt and peer at the ragged gash running between your breasts at a diagonal.

Last night's fight was something. It wasn't even a strong witch, but one swipe of those strange three-jointed "arms" caught you in the chest. You were afraid you wouldn't be able to go home, but when you transformed back into your civilian outfit the wound had already stopped bleeding.

It's an angry red now, and still obviously fresh, but it's strange. Did you always have this strange healing ability?

Something draws you to groan and open your bedside drawer and draw out the object inside. It's deep black and oddly shaped, like someone had taken a sewing needle and somehow forced an egg inside. When you try to grasp it in your fist, it leaps up almost of its own accord and settles back down on the back of your hand, balanced delicately on the point. The weirdest thing is that it either doesn't weigh anything, or isn't actually touching your hand. You can't feel the point pressing into your hand at all.

[Grief Seed obtained. One use remaining.]

Putting it back in your drawer, you recall how badly you needed to use the grief seed after just that fight. You're not a weak magical girl, but you aren't going to use your powers like that.

You aren't amoral enough.

Headed downstairs, you notice everyone gathered around the cheap IKEA table that serves as a cramped dining space for your family. You aren't exactly ghetto, but you're lower class enough your apartment is pretty cramped.

[choose action(s)]

[X] Talk to...
   [X] Mom
   [X] Dad
   [X] Circe

[X] Check time

[X] Eat Breakfast
[X] Kill yourself
[X] Go to school

[X] Check soul gem

[Sprin]

• Eat breakfeast
• go to school
• Kiss girl friends

[Karnewarrior]

[X] Eat breakfast

You sit down to eat breakfast. Just a bowl of Fruity Pebbles and some chocolate milk. Nothing special, but at least the milk isn't powdered. Mom's promotion really did mean something after all.

Your Mom starts to say something, but you stop her before she can waste her breath. You aren't worth anything she has to say.

[X] Go to school

The breakfast wakes you up and you get dressed in record time.

You end up walking to school, so you can meet up with your friends. The sky is slightly overcast, grey clouds stretching like fingers across the blue velvet. So it shouldn't have come as a surprise to you when the bluest thing you can see also happens to be the thing that saved your life after the wreck.

Tsubey prowls along a white picket fence before leaping a yard and a half onto your shoulder.

<Congratulations on your first Grief Seed. Kind of surprising, honestly. Usually the girls who make wishes like yours die in their first fight.>

You wince. Cool and blunt as ever. Tsubey's voice has a warmth that doesn't quite match up with his words. He sounds as if he's actually impressed.

<Wishes like mine?>

<Oh yes. Many people throughout time have thought to wish for more wishes. Unfortunately, it almost never turns out well. After all, most people don't have the potential for more than one mundane wish. It's always different and always painful. Most of the time, they end up dying before we can establish secondary returns. It's such a shame.>

His beady blue eyes stare ahead without blinking, less like sensory organs and more like a pair of sapphires glued onto his face. He's like a doll with that dead gaze. Until he turns it to you, and you flinch back.

<We have high hopes that you will provide heavy Secondary returns. Hence the investment. It's dangerous, of course, but we aren't permitted to influence your choice of wish for ethical reasons. It's important to us that you retain your free will.>

<What do you->

[X] kiss girl friends

"Chelsea!"

You're suddenly bowled over by a surprisingly dense slip of a girl. Helga presses her lips to your forehead repeatedly.

"Has been a while! Has been a while! You went missing from school, was so scary for me and Evan, think you leave us for hoity-toity school somewhere in rich neighborhood."
She grins a grin so cheesy you can't help but laugh a little.

"No way, Helga." You laugh. "Leave you behind? What a depressing thought."

"If you want to know depressing, try looking at Helga when she thought you were at home sick. It was like you had contracted AIDS, Cancer, and a case of the sniffles all at once." Evan appears over you to help you and Helga up with a hand. He's a bit pale, as always, but as a member of the computer club and unofficial president of the Mid-East Snarkers association you suppose that's a given.

Helga stands with the adorable lack of grace normally used by baby giraffes. "Was terrible. Had to listen in American History and Math class all day and take notes- kitty?"

Her head snaps to Tsubey, his tail languidly swishing back and forth on the ground.

<Please ignore me for the time being, Dear Helga. I prefer to not be spotted by the males of your species.>

Helga's eyes are wide, her jaw hanging limp. "Koshka mozhet govorit' na Russkom?"

<Your help would be appreciated, Miss Washington. I would rather not reveal myself to those I have no wish to contract.>

[Select Option]

[X] Distract Helga

[X] Change subject
   [X] to....?

[X]Refuse to assist Tsubey