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[Foxite]

In one of my first forts, back in 34.11, I had a problem with wolverines occasionally entering the fort's bounds and causing disruption. The problem wasn't anything big, but they still were annoying, inducing cancel spam all over the log. It was until one dwarf decided he had enough and charged at a wolverine upon sight, kicked him in the head and SMASHED OUT ALL OF HIS TEETH. I never saw a wolverine again.

But then, dwarves are used to engraving stone with their beards.

S I G D

[Dorf and Dumb]

Dorfs with the machinegun crossbow bug chewed through something like 2000 low-grade wooden bolts shooting and killing a dozen Salt Ghosts through fortifications.

[SixOfSpades]

When my duke stuck his entire head (with helmet) inside a goblin's mouth and bit out the goblin's lower left back tooth.

Or the time when a Human caravan guard was attacking a goblin with her silver warhammer. She kept pounding and pounding, but never managed to do anything more than bruise the goblin's skin or fat. So she just punched the goblin in the lower leg and the severed part sailed away in an arc.

[Urist McShire]

There was one moment of mine where I was being invaded by a large goblin force on a volcano site. I'd created a secondary access tunnel many z-levels down from the main entrance to the fort, lined with cage, weapon, and upright spear traps (all linked to a lever being pulled by my resident vampire who was shut away inside his office). The spear traps weren't ready yet, but the weapon and cage ones were and so about 20+ goblins and something close to 8 trolls come charging in, and about half of the goblins and 6 of the trolls manage to path their way through. On the other side of the hall is my militia commander and her number 2 that had previously slain a coral titan. I'm thinking, "Oh crap! Get the rest of the squad down here, now!" meanwhile, they see the enemy and charge.

Before any of the others can get there, the hall is filled with goblin and troll blood, both my commander and the other dwarf are fine, and both already left the area to go hunting more trolls on the slopes. Out of the ~70 enemies, at least thirty were killed by the two of them before the other members of my military could lend a hand and route the gobbos.

[Skullsploder]

Old 34.11 fort, my first successful experiment with a citizen's militia. All my dwarves have basic armour and copper crossbows, and spend their off time doing individual drills around the arena, so they get to shoot at captured gobbos when they're in stock.

So, cleaning up a caravan that got ambushed by goblins, my civvies discover a goblin ambush. At this point there're about 3 dwarves outside the gates, so I activate the alert to get everyone back and muster my military. Then I notice there's still a dwarf outside, far from the gates. He's my head doctor (read: only skilled doctor), and I'm like oh shit gotta save him. I order the military to charge, but the goblins are much closer and they've sighted him.

Meanwhile, Dr. Badass stands on top of a little hill and begins firing his crossbow. He takes out 4 goblins before the 10-gob squad reaches him, and bashes another's skull in the moment they engage. Moments later, a second gob squad arrives, and then a third, all melee. What follows is more than 20 pages (I counted) of him dodging, rolling, and (twice) firing another bolt through a heart or skull. He was completely unscathed when my military arrived, but in the bloody melee that followed a gob axeman got a lucky hit and cut off the good doctor's foot. 2 pages of rolling around later and that same gob get's a bolt through the brain.

After the battle, no one came to pick up the doctor, who was bleeding out through his severed foot, and pale by this point. So, in the true dwarven spirit of "fuck everything, I'll do it myself," he crawled all the way from the edge of the map to the entrance of my fort, down the main hall, and into the hospital, where he sat for a month without receiving medical attention, before he got up, got himself a platinum crutch, and went about his business.

[Mishrak]

Fluffy the cat was at the wrong place at the wrong time when I was testing a bridge, and I broke its back.  Specifically its lower spine.  It could still walk but it was very slow.  It still went about its vermin hunting duties and often roamed outside my fortress walls.  I don't remember if it was someone's pet or not.  It survived two or three zombie sieges (I was embarked near four towers) before it was finally too far outside the walls to get inside in time.  I had to make a tough call and seal the bridge before 60 zombies waltzed inside.  I did erect a proper memorial for it on the spot of its death.  The only cat I really admired.  Sorry about that Fluffy.

[khearn]

The militia commander bites The Goblin Spearman in the upper body,
bruising the muscle and bruising the heart through the ({cave spider silk
cloak})!

He bit his opponent in the chest and bruised his heart.

I don't even...

[Mimodo]

The story of the dwarven hero mentioned early continues. He's now got over 70 kills to his name, and with his new offsider (a candy coated spear dwarf), he is the first line of defence for any attack on the fortress (with the exception of deadly forgotten beasts.

I think I need to find me a vampire and immortalise this guy soon

They also have 12 living relatives between them, so heir deaths could be problematic

[Borge]

A forgotten beast entered my caverns, a towering sauropod with deadly dust. I raised the alert for everyone to clear the caverns, but one of my Hammerlords, Eril was completing a patrol route and could not make it back to the bridge before the forgotten beast got dangerously close to entering as it was moving incredibly quickly, so i ordered my returning Hammerlord into the tunnel to prevent the Forgotten beast making it past the bridge long enough for it to close. I begin building a memorial slab and a golden encrusted coffin for the sacrifice that was about to occur. I ordered the Hammer lord Eril into the tunnels around a corner to ambush the Forgotten beast. As it rounds the corner my Hammerlord charges the forgotten beast and gets coated in the deadly dust, and immediately begins rotting on every part of his body, with miasma filling the room. The bridge finally slammed closed. His rotting flesh did not discourage him and he begun breaking every limb, organ and bone in the forgotten beasts body with his war hammer. The fight went on for a very long time, until finally my dwarf fell unconcious from exhaustion. I thought this was the end for my brave dwarf but the forgotten beast begun to very slowly crawl away through the tunnel, and before it made it 6 tiles away it dropped dead from its injuries. As the dwarf lay on the ground rotting he somehow managed to give a name to his weapon that helped him slay the beast single handed.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

To my amazement i lowered the drawbridge and quickly rallied an army to get this hero to the hospital to ensure his survival, as at this point every limb and exterior body part, including his eyes had completely rotted from necrosis. He spent a good few months in the hospital having rotten flesh removed from his body, and having completely lost his vision i thought his military days were over, but happily he marched back into the barracks and begun training again. I have taken him off the patrol routes and made him Champion, training fresh recruits. He still bears scars over his entire body from the deadly dust, but he has been named Paragon of the fortress and given excellent living areas for his heroic deeds.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

[Quartz_Mace]

A forgotten beast entered my caverns, a towering sauropod with deadly dust. I raised the alert for everyone to clear the caverns, but one of my Hammerlords, Eril was completing a patrol route and could not make it back to the bridge before the forgotten beast got dangerously close to entering as it was moving incredibly quickly, so i ordered my returning Hammerlord into the tunnel to prevent the Forgotten beast making it past the bridge long enough for it to close. I begin building a memorial slab and a golden encrusted coffin for the sacrifice that was about to occur. I ordered the Hammer lord Eril into the tunnels around a corner to ambush the Forgotten beast. As it rounds the corner my Hammerlord charges the forgotten beast and gets coated in the deadly dust, and immediately begins rotting on every part of his body, with miasma filling the room. The bridge finally slammed closed. His rotting flesh did not discourage him and he begun breaking every limb, organ and bone in the forgotten beasts body with his war hammer. The fight went on for a very long time, until finally my dwarf fell unconcious from exhaustion. I thought this was the end for my brave dwarf but the forgotten beast begun to very slowly crawl away through the tunnel, and before it made it 6 tiles away it dropped dead from its injuries. As the dwarf lay on the ground rotting he somehow managed to give a name to his weapon that helped him slay the beast single handed.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

To my amazement i lowered the drawbridge and quickly rallied an army to get this hero to the hospital to ensure his survival, as at this point every limb and exterior body part, including his eyes had completely rotted from necrosis. He spent a good few months in the hospital having rotten flesh removed from his body, and having completely lost his vision i thought his military days were over, but happily he marched back into the barracks and begun training again. I have taken him off the patrol routes and made him Champion, training fresh recruits. He still bears scars over his entire body from the deadly dust, but he has been named Paragon of the fortress and given excellent living areas for his heroic deeds.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

I can't even... I tip my hat to this Dwarf. May he train many a good warrior.

[Borge]

The hero dwarf has trained 3 full squads of recruits up to legendary, and is legendary himself with Hammers, Spears, and Axes. I now have an army of 20 Hammer Lords, 10 Axe lords, 10 Spearmasters, and 10 Elite Marksdwarves with another 10 Marksdwarves in training. Time to take on the circus. I still find it hilarious he named his weapon "The Hairy Screams", very fitting considering his flesh was rotting as he was slaying the beast.

[StagnantSoul]

I decided not to kill the vampire that showed up, so I put him in underground seclusion with wooden spear traps all in his room. He's legendary in dodging, shield and armour user, fighter, wrestler, grand master in knife user, and legendary in hammer. So, when a siege showed up, I sicked this soldier alone on the siege. He crushed a pair of cave dragons' heads in with one swing each, punched a few heads off after lodging the hammer in a trolls chest, kicked a leg off before crushing the head, and even easily killed the iron great axe armed general. All without injury. Go vampire! Bloody bastard ate my legendary gem setter though.

[Mentalpatient87]

Back in 34.11 I had made a minor mistake. I elected my best warrior as the duchess. Still, she was a wonder with a hammer and I sent her and her squad after some horrific, giant, flightless cave birds whose name I cannot remember. (Not elk birds) The duchess was the first to arrive on the scene. She killed two of the seven monsters before one of them bit off her shield arm. She wasn't fazed. Didn't even go to the hospital. She proceeded to crack three more skulls and keep the beasts at bay until the rest of the squad showed up. After that I retired her from combat and she had a relaxing, if boring, life as a proper noble.

[Borge]

Back in 34.11 I had made a minor mistake. I elected my best warrior as the duchess. Still, she was a wonder with a hammer and I sent her and her squad after some horrific, giant, flightless cave birds whose name I cannot remember. (Not elk birds) The duchess was the first to arrive on the scene. She killed two of the seven monsters before one of them bit off her shield arm. She wasn't fazed. Didn't even go to the hospital. She proceeded to crack three more skulls and keep the beasts at bay until the rest of the squad showed up. After that I retired her from combat and she had a relaxing, if boring, life as a proper noble.

I believe the cave birds you are talking about are Jabberers. Terrifying beasts but incredibly useful once trained.

[94dima94]

My miner, just after breaching the cavern, meets 4 crundles, who are just in front of him, and a troglodyte, who is a few steps back, by himself (I don't know how this happened, I never met less than 4 or 5 of them together). He gets attacked by the crundles, while the troglodyte starts walking towards them. The miner kills two of the crundles, then PUNCHES another one, killing him and sending him flying; it lands right on the troglodyte, smashing his left leg. This gives the miner the time to kill the last one and run away, quickly sealing the tunnel behind him.

Since it was quite early, I still didn't have any kind of defense ready; the caveman could have destroyed everyone in the fortress without that amazing hit.