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[Optio_Pootis]

So a fisherdwarf is fishing at my fortress Sodelthol "shielddeeps", when he spots an angry wolverine. He charges the goddamn thing and I feared the worst.

Bastard EXPLODES THE WOLVERINE' S HEAD. Rewarded him with the position of Militia Captain.

#2: A werehyena comes out of nowhere while trading with elves. He chokes one to death with little effort and kills one dwarf in an epic struggle. Then EVERY goddamn dwarf charges the fucker and RIPS HIM APART.

Post below with dorfy stories.

[martinuzz]

It would take considerable force to explode a wolverine's head. Especially it's jaw bone would be very hard to crush.

But then, dwarves are used to engraving stone with their beards.

[Wolffkran]

About two weeks ago I embarked to reclaim an old fortress that was fairly well developed, the last time I was inhabiting it over 100+ undead had camped out in front of my gates. Like a fool, I didn't bring a designated military dwarf.

Anyways, enough of that. This embark, I go in, start arranging stockpiles, and all of a sudden an elven ambush is discovered lying in wait in my great hall. There are about two dozen of them and I still have my original seven. Two of my dwarves die immediately, the rest I conscript into a militia, they promptly get their asses handed to them.

Except this one dwarf. This guy. He decides to go full on beast mode and starts beating the crap out of the elves, murdering them with a sock as he rampages through the fortress. He racks up about 16 kills before he tries to go to the hospital where the other 3 military dwarves are trying to rest as three elves beat the tar out of them. He kills them too, then takes a nap.

Sadly, they all died of their wounds and never woke up. I've memorialized him after properly reclaiming the fort. Giving him his own special room and such. To this day he has more kills than any other dwarf I've had in this particular fortress run.

[than402]

hoooo,boy...this thread will be awesome

well,there was this time when i managed to compeletely wipe out the gray langure men population from the wilds and practically enslave the captured ones and their descendants by using pet tokens(the apes had it coming though,they were stealing my stuff and murdering my babies)

another time,a winged titan managed to sneak through my defenses and into my bedrooms.he was thwarted...by two cats,one untrained dog,one crippled marksdwarf and another completely untrained marksdwarf

yesterday,a single war dog managed to hold my fortress entrance from a drow axemen squad completely on its own for long enough for my army to intervene and drive them away without any casualties.even the dog escaped unscathed,and with a couple of kills to his name

[Awessum Possum]

Batman (Mysterious dwarf with no past, no god, no family, and the best combat skills of any migrant I've ever had) and the vampire fighting a necromancer siege by themselves. Batman cut a bloody swath through countless zombies while the vampire hunted down the necromancers. The two of then would later route a goblin siege together. Also, I kept the vampire in a crypt. (The crypt had a hatch to the outside, so digging to it and walking it up behind him was the only way to deploy him without opening the main gate)

I'm also partial to "Random hunter routes goblin army and then finishes his hunt" and "Military dwarf sends goblin head flying onto the partially constructed bridge 8 z-levels above."

[Aslandus]

Started a fortress in the edge of a desert and near goblin lands. Apparently this, combined with the last town getting taken down by zombie hordes, caused migrants to be somewhat sad, tantruming almost immediately upon entering the region.

I appointed a sheriff, and he actually kept things from descending into chaos, arresting dwarves mid-tantrum and locking them onto restraints, making everyone happy enough to stop the tantrum spiral before it started...

Of course, the place got demolished by gobbos because I was busy fucking around with dwarven justice rather than building defenses or preparing a military, but I don't think angry desert land had much hope to begin with...

[Dyret]

My first and recent HFS breach, where the baroness' concort held the line against

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

the denizens of hell

alone for three or four waves before being kicked across the room and exploding. I gave him a tomb with a golden sarcophagus next to his wife's. Not really much of an accomplishment considering how fucking OP the military can get now, but an epic story nontheless.

[StagnantSoul]

So my little innocent dwarven civilization had become elf slayers. We were at war with the humans from the start, and I always let some elves get away, to tell the other elves of my fortresses strength. Spread fear and all. So when I was unprepared for the massive elven assault, riding on unicorns, I just shut my gate and turtled in my walls. Then after a season of training, dog and grizzly breeding and training, and equipment making, I felt ready to charge out and kill the elves. Then, the humans showed up. In true dwarfy style, I charged the hippies first, which were also attacked by humans. I wish a goblin siege arrived just before we fought, and we all held hands and fought back. It was already fun anyway. Who doesn't love a Mêlée à Trois? It somehow ended up with everyone but three war dogs, a grizzly, and two dwarves dead. So many coffins...

[Mimodo]

In an old fortress I had a legendary military dwarf who was the pride of my fortress. Being a marks dwarf, she absolutely annihilated enemy lines. In one battle, however, she ran out of ammunition, so went and attacked the enemy head on. After killing two with her crossbow, for some reason she decided to take a nap. In the middle of a battle! Surrounded by 3 gobbos pounding on her candy helm like an anvil, she slept soundly... Although she was probably deaf...

Once she was done, she then proceeded to wake up, and slaughter the remainder of the seize before heading back inside to train.


In my current fort I had an ambush from serpent men in the bottom cavern, at the same time as a forgotten beast appeared. Turns out they like to kill each other, however, after 3 or 4 dead serpent men, one of them refused to die. After over a year of fighting, she was an elite wrestler, and under the unit description of the forgotten beast, there were at least 10 pages of scars, plus half a page of current injuries, before finally the damn thing bled to death (maybe not so good when it's got dangerous blood)

[Aslandus]

So my little innocent dwarven civilization had become elf slayers. We were at war with the humans from the start, and I always let some elves get away, to tell the other elves of my fortresses strength. Spread fear and all. So when I was unprepared for the massive elven assault, riding on unicorns, I just shut my gate and turtled in my walls. Then after a season of training, dog and grizzly breeding and training, and equipment making, I felt ready to charge out and kill the elves. Then, the humans showed up. In true dwarfy style, I charged the hippies first, which were also attacked by humans. I wish a goblin siege arrived just before we fought, and we all held hands and fought back. It was already fun anyway. Who doesn't love a Mêlée à Trois? It somehow ended up with everyone but three war dogs, a grizzly, and two dwarves dead. So many coffins...

This is why you need to keep enough coffins on hand to bury at least 75% of your fort at any given time

[Mimodo]

I've gotta add in today's newest feat.

Huge goblin attack, and then I realised that my bridge to seal off the fortress wasn't linked to the lever yet... yeah.

Anyway, last ditch attempt, I say "fuck it", and send my 30 strong military out at them (outnumbered 2-1 at this stage).

Obviously scared, they take forever, and a few gobbos get caught in cage traps to train up my future military.

Then one axedwarf, who knows know fear, ran out to meet them head on, charging full speed, blocking flying bolts with his shield where he couldn't block them. Upon reaching the first target, one swing of his mighty Kodoredim - Dawnray the Adamantine Battleaxe, and a goblin head was rolling on the ground.

Running and dodging like crazy, the hero of Asenducim proceeded to single handedly slaughter 24 goblins, whilst their comrades watched on in horror from their cages. As this legendary warrior was cleaning up the last of the mess, the remaining military caught up with him and assisted in the cleanup

[Nyxalinth]

Once I had modded elephants to be trainable and so created a war elephant.  shortly after, I breached the circus tent and the clowns came out to entertain my dwarves.  Said war elephant killed 7 or 8 clowns before succumbing to his wounds.  Stampy, you will never be forgotten.

ETA: In my new fort, my dogs hate yaks.  They've killed two and have started on a third, with occasional help from a drafted miner.  I won't need meat for a while, and those dogs will always have a place at my fort.  they aren't even war trained.

[StagnantSoul]

I've gotta add in today's newest feat.

Huge goblin attack, and then I realised that my bridge to seal off the fortress wasn't linked to the lever yet... yeah.

Anyway, last ditch attempt, I say "fuck it", and send my 30 strong military out at them (outnumbered 2-1 at this stage).

Obviously scared, they take forever, and a few gobbos get caught in cage traps to train up my future military.

Then one axedwarf, who knows know fear, ran out to meet them head on, charging full speed, blocking flying bolts with his shield where he couldn't block them. Upon reaching the first target, one swing of his mighty Kodoredim - Dawnray the Adamantine Battleaxe, and a goblin head was rolling on the ground.

Running and dodging like crazy, the hero of Asenducim proceeded to single handedly slaughter 24 goblins, whilst their comrades watched on in horror from their cages. As this legendary warrior was cleaning up the last of the mess, the remaining military caught up with him and assisted in the cleanup

I love the little "snaps" dwarves will get sometimes. I had a champion who was married to a militia captain, so naturally, they'd be fighting close by often. So a huge invasions of goblins, headed by a cave dragon riding general shows up. I manipulated it so my champion and all the captains, each with a grizzly in tow, fought the general, while the rest of them went to fight the more mundane enemies. So as I'm watching, one captain gets his head ripped off, another flees only to get turned into a pincushion by an archer, and then the champion gets decapitated. My last captain, the champion's wife, SNAPPED. She went into a martial trance a few seconds after, due to a pair of mace goblins hopping in, cut the both of then down with her axe, hacked open the cave dragons throat, then cut the general in half. I quickly made her pick up her husbands artifact axe and slaughter the rest of the goblins. The last ten or so goblins were all finished off by her and a few spearmen.

[Sus]

My militia captain pretty much single-handedly chopped down the entire troll regiment of a goblin siege. He charged blindly into a group of about a dozen trolls. I kept expecting him to get grappled and bent into a dwarf pretzel by a wrestling troll, but nope. He went into martial trance, and after that it was all
"The Militia Captain chops the Troll int the head with his «*steel battle axe*» and the severed part sails off in an arc!"

This was after a goblin bowman had put an arrow in his knee...

[Szkeptik]

I was once attacked by a dragon. My main military was in the caverns patrolling and fighting off lizardmen, and it would have taken them minutes to climb up to ground level.

Having only an untrained militia at the gates I ordered them all to station in the courtyard in front of the main entrance.

I thought my military could make it up in time, but a dwarf was too close to the dragon on the other side of the door or something I'm not sure, but the dragon blew fire and turned my courtyard doors to dust.

Realizing that my  military won't make it in time I attacked the dragon with the militia I had there, expecting them to die pretty fast, but maybe survive long enough for my real heavy hitters to make it topside. However one of the recruits, armed with just an iron shield and iron spear, charged at the dragon, deflecting dragonfire with his shield and then landing the first thrust of his spear right into the beast's heart. He then took it out and landed the second hit right between the eyes, tearing the brain. The dragon dies immediately and I had 0 casualties.