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[Mokkun]

Not sure if Badass or badass-facepalm moment, a Crundle got into a fight whit a FB, Humanoid made of steam.. battle rages on, Crundle gets exhaused all the time from fight bud do not get hurt, same can not be said for steamy, he got at the end beaten by the crundle Leguthremlu. She Is very fat, her scales are crimson, her eyes are black.. I must trap and tame this one.. if just for the fun of having a named (badass) Crundle.. (even if steam FBs are wimps)..

[PDF urist master]

My favorite moment was when a reacher tried to attack a planter and the planter, instead of running away, fought back. Somehow 10 other dwarves showed up and gang banged this one reacher.

It's like he released a pheromone that attracted other dwarves to fight with him.

[Quartz_Mace]

An untrained farmer was assaulted by a Magma Crab and punched it to death with no combat training whatsoever. I also had my Liason kill a Manera when he followed my mayor into the caverns. Without injury.

[Illogical_Blox]

Well, I had a carpenter (with no axe) punch a honey badger in the head and make it explode, after hurling it to the ground by its TOE. Admittedly though, it was injured.

However, I have the most manly, dwarvish dwarf in the world here. A Mason/Engraver/Stone Crafter, who is responsible for most of my fortress's trade goods, was engraving the dining room. Well, along with the four IDENTICAL pictures of a named grizzly bear settling in the Rhythmic Jungle, he also carved several pictures of his deity, Onul Diamond-Treasures, god of wealth (v. dwarvenly) and TWO ELF SKULLS.

No dwarf can beat that.

[Mentalpatient87]

Back in 34.11 I had made a minor mistake. I elected my best warrior as the duchess. Still, she was a wonder with a hammer and I sent her and her squad after some horrific, giant, flightless cave birds whose name I cannot remember. (Not elk birds) The duchess was the first to arrive on the scene. She killed two of the seven monsters before one of them bit off her shield arm. She wasn't fazed. Didn't even go to the hospital. She proceeded to crack three more skulls and keep the beasts at bay until the rest of the squad showed up. After that I retired her from combat and she had a relaxing, if boring, life as a proper noble.

I believe the cave birds you are talking about are Jabberers. Terrifying beasts but incredibly useful once trained.

Yes! Agh, jabberers! I love telling that story but I always forget the name of those stupid birds. Thank you.

[RocheLimit]

Setup:  DF2012, Defense mod.  Two dwarfs picked from the starting 7, handed amateurish silver maces and shoddily-made steel armor, and told to train for the rest of their short lives.

Fast-forward a few years later.  The initial two have not been reinforced by any more dwarfs due to other overseer concerns.  Several ambushes had been put down without a wound, standard Beak wolves and Frogmen fair.  Then the first siege came: 30 Naga bowmen.  Considering this was DF2012, I figured that was it.  My macemen would be pincushions before they even touched a single Naga.  Thinking it was over, I sent my two-man military out to die a dwarf's death.

This is what happened:

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

The only injury was a passing dwarf in the halls beyond was hit in the arm once.

[Thisfox]

I had a bunch of migrants come in, including a cook and a Ranger, who turned out to be married. She was sent to do cookly things (and to be taught how to brew) and he went into the military. Easy.

We got sieged by goblins, and the fighters were readied and sent out. The game paused as a cook had just given birth, I didn't pay it much heed. Dwarfs went in to battle. And the former Ranger got killed by an arrow... Then all hell broke loose. The cook came to the surface, newborn baby in her arms, and wiped the FLOOR with the entire invading goblin army. It didn't matter that she didn't have any of the new armour or weaponry the rest of the military had: She used her teeth. She bit all of the gobbos to death through their leather armour, covering the entire area with blood and body parts. The enemy retreated and the siege was over. I'd lost my entire military (I'm not convinced, having read pages of documentation, that any of my military actually killed anyone. They did occasionally hurt them) so she got promoted to the military and moved in to what had been the bed/dining/office area of the former mayor (If you don't like their mandates, put 'em in the military and hope). Later, when someone got unexpectedly made countess, I made her the champion. She never remarried, but her dream of raising a family was realised with that one baby.

Never get on the wrong side of a new mother.

[Tacomagic]

My favorite moment was when a reacher tried to attack a planter and the planter, instead of running away, fought back. Somehow 10 other dwarves showed up and gang banged this one reacher.

It's like he released a pheromone that attracted other dwarves to fight with him.

Had the same thing happen with a Cave Crocodile.  It attacked a planter and missed, planter got a lucky shot and knocked the cave croc out cold.  Then, 75% of my fortress gathered around it and started beating on it with their fists.

9 months later everyone was dead from a mixture of dehydration and madness.  Except the croc.  It was laying in the middle of the farm unconscious.

[elpreda]

I once had a flying spider with poisonous bite FB appear as soon as I breached the caverns. I had no military or weapons except for my one copper pick. The FB killed 3 stone haulers as soon as it got in then my miner expedition leader decided to stand ground and charged the thing. At first it was lopping off useless legs all over then the spider got a lucky shot to her lower body, pulled out her guts and severed the lower spine leaving her legless, then cut off her right arm leaving her weaponless as well. I was already thinking of a new place for embarking and then she punched the spider through the brain with her left hand.

Took her to the hospital right away, got her washed with FB soap and sewed her up right back. When she got out she kept dragging herself on the ground with her only hand and mining.

While she was in hospital a mayor was elected and made an impossible mandate. Then the evil mayor decided to imprison her for supposedly order violation.
As if that wasn't enough he kept sending his lackeys to continuously eat her supplies and the heroine who saved the fortress starved to death crippled in a cell.

[Nopkar]

Militia captain with a silver mace and select pieces of iron armor was my only military dwarf. She spent years alone training for the defense of the entire fort. She single handedly broke 4 sieges and dozens of ambushes. one siege in particular was amazing:

Goblins charged the front gate, the captain was ready to meet them head on. she charged across the bridge, smashing the first goblin in the face so hard with her mace it tore his head off, it sailed 10 squares or so back and killed another goblin by breaking its ribs and tearing the heart. she then proceeded to mutilate the rest of the siege before any of them could retreat.

she died some years later after fighting a forgotten beast with a poisonous cloud. she was buried in a masterwork candy coffin and laid to rest under a sea of magma. Statues of her adorned the dining hall and foyer for the life of the fortress.

[nekoexmachina]

My current fort has 120 dwarves. Only 20 of them are militaries, and 10 of them are puking freshmen. Thus my main squad consists of 8 hardcore dudes from first migration waves, and 2 are best recruits of 2nd squad.
2 dead were my both militia commanders this far; almost nothing badass for them. My hammerdwarf, 'Crazy', has now 2 or 3 bandit sieges squished by himself, while having his right leg broken every time. Last siege he destroyed was 5 elves, 1 gobbo and 2 humans. He ran to them without my order, happening to be nearby, collecting some fruits. I ordered his squad to come help him, he enters material trance, swings his hammer, kicking skulls through brains. Last living bandit was human in full steel, while my fort has only copper. Hammer dude breaks every bone of him, but skull attacks just glance away every time. Then my military force arrives, with some war grizzlies. One of them just bits the head of steel dude. Coup de grace, I think. Way to much humanity from a war animal.

[Magnumcannon]

A wereape came to my fortress and killed one of my alpacas with several blows and then transformed back to a naked gobbo. He then fled to the wilds, leaving only the "WTF" on my dwarves' heads.



I made it a werenarwhal because they're cool.

[Insanity X]

My favorite moment was when a reacher tried to attack a planter and the planter, instead of running away, fought back. Somehow 10 other dwarves showed up and gang banged this one reacher.

It's like he released a pheromone that attracted other dwarves to fight with him.

Breaking news, dwarves are related to hornets.

[klefenz]

Some time ago a dragon came to my fortress and one of my soldiers two hit killed it.

In another fortress a soldier decapitated a bronze colossus with a spear.

[StagnantSoul]

Eight legendary soldiers just held off half the goblins in the world. Literally. After my huge slaughterfest, and embarking on a few dark pits with 400 dwarves, each armed with a bronze sword, copper shield, bronze mail shirt, copper breast plate and helm, and leather boots, glove, cloak, and legging, the world was reduced to 237 goblins. Just killed 110 of those in one siege, with 8 legendary soldiers decked in candy.