Crush the cabin with my floating earth chunk, and float under the island on it afterwards.
Peer out the door and snipe Flabort a few times.
(Flabort spd: 4-1)
(Gentleman spd: 6)
(Gentleman dex: 5+2)
(Flabort end: 2-3)
Spotting a newcomer in the vicinity, Flabort sends his chunk of earth hurtling towards the cabin like a meteor, only to be literally stopped dead by a pair of grey metal bolts to the brain. The earthen island crumbles apart harmlessly just a moment before it would have leveled the cabin, without even so much as staining The Gentleman's suit. Looking down at his crossbow, The Gentleman notices that it has adopted an ocher color much like that of Flabort's sphere, and the bolts are now made of slightly resonating shards of stone and crystal.
(Gentleman luk: 4+2)
Not only has The Gentleman's crossbow changed, but he has a new piece of loot as well. It's a small table carved from average-looking wood, about the right size to serve as a nightstand. Inscribed into the top of it is a large red seal, consisting of all sorts of softly-glowing runes and pentacles.
Sneak towards the others, but don't attack. Just hide.
Nobody even so much as glances at you as you creep towards where all of the action is happening and hide in a small cave in the emerald mass.
..."Well. You are getting annoying. I believe it's time to get rid of you."
"Hullo? Anyloot here?"
Greencovery operation commences. Fuck with my loot and I will kill everyone spawning in until I get another Lootcyclopedia. If you fuck with my loot, I hope you enjoy spawning and going back to the wait list. Also, if my loot lives through this turn I may start taking requests to find out what your loot does.
Eh, thanks, this is what I call... A Punchline!
Punch Derm
Tapdance.
COME ON AND SLAM, IF YOU WANT TO JAM.
(Derm spd: 4+2+2)
(Beirus aff: 1+6)
(Roach spd: 5+6)
(NAV spd: 5+6)
(Barkley spd: 6+4)
(Smartmouth spd: 2+4)
(Roach dex: 1-3)
(Derm spd: 2+2+2)
(Barkley dex: 6+2)
(Derm spd: 3+2+2)
(Derm end: 2-6)
(Beirus aff: 4+6+10)
(Roach end: 3+6)
(Barkley str: 4+3)
(Smartmouth str: 2+4)
(Barkley end: 2+3)
Seeing his chance to strike a crippling blow to the tank team, The Roach launches a series of almost supersonic jabs at Derm. Unfortunately, focusing on speed over accuracy only gets him so far, and his barrage misses Derm entirely. However, just as the man of metal is about to retaliate, a booming warcry echoes off of the emerald walls.
"COME ON AND SLAM! IF YOU WANT TO JAM!"Derm's distraction is only momentary, but one moment is all that it takes for Barkley's chaos dunk to SLAM into him, reducing his finely-mustachioed head into a splatter of thick red JAM. Roughly a second later, Barkley finds himself teleported directly to the point of impact, face to face with an incredulous Roach, and Beirus, who is none too happy about his tank and teammate going up in smoke. Raising his scepter into the air, Beirus conjures up a pair of emerald shells around Barkley and The Roach, crushing the latter to death instantly, while carefully molding Barkley's prison into an aerodynamic shape to toss to Smartmouth. Just as he's adding the last few fins however, he's interrupted by a tap on the shoulder.
"It's a crying shame about that tank, isn't it Boss? Eight endurance and six attacks a turn gone, just like that. But hey, if we kill the guy who killed Derm, we're bound to get something even better, right? 'Sides, we've still got the scepter and the hat for all the offense and defense we need. Plus whatever you picked up while I was out with Fernandez here... Speaking of which..."Smartmouth brings her blade crashing down on Barkley's emerald prison, shattering it to bits and hacking off Barkley's left arm, which is quickly chewed to shreds by the blade, which makes a low growling sound, obviously displeased that its target is still alive.
(Barkley luk: -3-6-6)
As Barkley minus an arm springs to his feet, a bizarre pile of what looks like burnt metal scaffolding appears beside him. The whole thing has a vaguely humanoid shape, and there's a thin wall of scorched plexiglass over part of the 'torso', looking like some sort of improvised cockpit.
(Beirus luk: 5+6)
As Smartmouth takes a step back from the half-melted mecha, a large tuning fork appears beside Beirus, roughly the size of a claymore. Both tines of the fork have been sharpened to razor edges, and even an experimental swing through the air causes them to ring out, making a noise which could drive lesser men mad.
DERM, THE ROACH, AND FLABORT ARE DEAD! JENNA SPAWNS AS RED, BIFF BAM BOOM SPAWNS AS WHITE, AND MR. TOUGH SPAWNS AS YELLOW! ((+6 end intensifies))
(Jenna luk: 5+6)
Jenna's waiver becomes a pair of oversized gauntlets made from some sort of reddish glass. Despite this fact, they look to be quite durable, and could probably function either as shields or sledgehammers depending on the situation.
(Biff luk: -3-6)
Biff's waiver transforms into an enormous mallet carved from some obscenely heavy black stone. Even with his muscles, Biff can barely lift it off of the ground, but he doesn't think that it'll take much more than a gentle tap to break every bone in some poor sod's body.
(Tough luk: 1+1)
Mr. Tough's waiver molds itself into an ugly green wool sweater with three arm holes, like something that an alien grandmother would knit. Other than the third arm, there's nothing at all special about it.
Jenna (Red): Red Glass Gauntlets
Beirus II (Blue): Maaaagic cape, fancy pith helmet, Smartmouth, crabclaw scepter, hungry scimitar, some perfume,
I̶̫̲̭̣, tuning fork blades
Toboggan (Orange): Rainbow Trenchcoat
Biff Bam Boom (White): HEAVY hammer
Charles Barkley (Brown): Silver B-ball, damaged mecha
Te Gentleman (Purple): Earthen bow, devil's table
Red (Pink): Golden hand cannon
Mr. Tough (Yellow): Ugly sweater
Poll
Author
Topic: Looter's Delight 3: STILL ALIVE (Read 49598 times)