Non-minimalist! Hooray!
Expect your characters to lost a lot.
YOU ARE FOUR HEROES, THE MOST STEREOTYPICAL ONES IMAGINABLE: THE BEATY-UPPY-PEOPLEY GUY, THE MAGICKY GUY, THE PRIEST GUY, AND THE THIEFY GUY. YOU HAVE TO RETRIEVE THE HOLY GRAIL/SWORD/KING/SHIELD/HELMET/AMULET (OR MAYBE IT WAS THE GRAIL/SWORD/KING/SHIELD/HELMET/AMULET OF RODNEY, I DUNNO) FROM SOME DUNGEON NAMED SOMETHING LIKE "THE MAZES OF MENACE" OR "THE ETERNAL PIT OF DARNATION" OR "THE BAY12 GAMES FORUM" OR SOMETHING. IT WILL BE VERY PAINFUL AND YOU WILL PROBABLY LOST.
BE WARNED THAT THIS IS USING MY OWN RTD RULES, WHICH CALL FOR A D8:
You are attempting to swing a stick.
1: Oooh! The stick is coming *klonk*: INSTANT LOST
2: Oooh! The stick is coming back *owch*: -2 SMEERPS
3: Oooh! The stick is coming back *ow*: -1 SMEERPS
4: Hooray, it swung.: INTENDED EFFECT, NO BONUS (I.E. WILL NOT BE AS POWERFUL AS IF YOU'D ROLLED A FIVE)
5: Yay, it swung more!: INTENDED EFFECT, SLIGHTLY BETTER EFFECT
6: Wow, that was a big swing, but it HURTS SO BAD!: INTENDED EFFECT, SLIGHTLY BETTER EFFECT, -1 SMEERPS
7: That was some swing! But my leg is borked.: INTENDED EFFECT, MODERATELY BETTER EFFECT, -2 SMEERPS
8: Wow! It swung so far *klonk*: INTENDED EFFECT, GREATLY IMPROVED EFFECT, INSTANT LOST
BEATY-UPPY-GUY STARTS WITH EIGHT SMEERPS, PRIESTY GUY STARTS WITH 6 SMEERPS, THIEFY GUY STARTS WITH 4 SMEERPS, MAGICKY GUY STARTS WITH 2 SMEERPS
IF YOU RUN OUT OF SMEERPS YOU LOST AND THE BAD GUYS DEFEAT YOU
CASTING REALITY-BENDING SPELLS IS A 50/50 CHANCE ACTION, ODDS=GOOD/EVENS=BAD, YOU CANNOT HAVE TWO DIFFERENT REALITY-BENDING SPELLS IN EFFECT AT THE SAME TIME OR YOU LOSE ALL SMEERPS
MAGICKY GUY GETS THESE REALITY-BENDING SPELLS:
-AUTOMATICALLY MAKE ALL ENEMIES' ACTIONS 3 FOR 3 TURNS
-AUTOMATICALLY MAKE ALL ENEMIES' ACTIONS 2 FOR 1 TURN
-GIVE ENEMIES SMEERP LOSS ON ANY ROLL FOR 3 TURNS
THEY ALSO GET A LOT OF CASTS OF THINGS LIKE FIREBALL AND LIGHTING BOLT AND COLOR SPRAY AND CHARM PERSON, BECAUSE THEY OFFSET THEIR SMEERP LEVELS
PRIESTY GUY GETS THESE REALITY-BENDING SPELLS:
-AUTOMATICALLY MAKE ALL ACTIONS 4 FOR 3 TURNS
-AUTOMATICALLY MAKE ALL ACTIONS 7 FOR 3 TURNS
-NEGATE SMEERP LOSS FOR ROLLS ABOVE 4, NOT INCLUDING 8
THEY ALSO GET TO CAST CURE LIGHT WOUNDS (RESTORE SINGLE SMEERP) ONCE EVERY TWO TURNS
NOTE THAT NORMAL COMBAT CAN END WITH SMEERP LOSS OR TRADITIONAL ROLL-TO-DODGE KILLING PEOPLE MECHANICS, YOU'D BETTER PRAY TO [insert deity here] THAT YOU ROLL AN UNCANNY STRING OF 5s
THIEFY GUY CAN TAKE 4 WITH TRAPS AND STEALING THINGS AND SOMESUCH BECAUSE THIEFY
GOOD LUCK MY HEROES
Shadestyle: BEATY-UPPY GUY (WAITLIST: Salsacookies)
Wwolen: PRIESTY GUY
NAV: THIEFY GUY
Nunzillor: MAGICKY GUY
Author
Topic: Roll to Somehow Win a Brutal Grimdark Dungeon Crawl (Read 4564 times)