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This sucks.

Yes
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Yes
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Yes
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Bean burrito with sour cream
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Total Members Voted: 0

Voting closed: August 22, 2014, 07:48:00 pm


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Author Topic: You Are a Serial Killer  (Read 21032 times)

SaberToothTiger

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Re: You Are a Serial Killer
« Reply #60 on: August 18, 2014, 09:47:36 am »

Let's have some fun with him. Gouge out his eyeballs, then crush his throat. Then look for some ragged clothing in the alley.
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I gaze into its milky depths, searching the wheat and sugar for the meanings I can never find.
It's like tea leaf divination, but with cartoon leprechauns.
There are only two sure things in life: death and taxes and lists and poor arithmetic and overlong jokes and poor memory and probably a few more things.

birdy51

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Re: You Are a Serial Killer
« Reply #61 on: August 18, 2014, 10:22:10 am »

Then slit his throat. The eyeballs will be our signature. Stuff the body in a dumpster when you get the chance.
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Gamerlord

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Re: You Are a Serial Killer
« Reply #62 on: August 18, 2014, 10:34:57 am »

Do the other stuff, but also carve open his chest. If we can pull out a couple of ribs, do so and stab them into the empty eye sockets.

SaberToothTiger

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Re: You Are a Serial Killer
« Reply #63 on: August 18, 2014, 10:45:40 am »

Then slit his throat. The eyeballs will be our signature. Stuff the body in a dumpster when you get the chance.
We don't really have to cut his throat, it will be more gruesome it it will be crushed by boot.
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I gaze into its milky depths, searching the wheat and sugar for the meanings I can never find.
It's like tea leaf divination, but with cartoon leprechauns.
There are only two sure things in life: death and taxes and lists and poor arithmetic and overlong jokes and poor memory and probably a few more things.

birdy51

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Re: You Are a Serial Killer
« Reply #64 on: August 18, 2014, 12:08:41 pm »

...Who said we are wearing boots? For all we know, we could just be further ruining our best pair of high heels.
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SaberToothTiger

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Re: You Are a Serial Killer
« Reply #65 on: August 18, 2014, 12:30:32 pm »

Well, it doesn't really matter. Just apply pressure to the throat bare foot or something like that, just make sure his throat is crushed.
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I gaze into its milky depths, searching the wheat and sugar for the meanings I can never find.
It's like tea leaf divination, but with cartoon leprechauns.
There are only two sure things in life: death and taxes and lists and poor arithmetic and overlong jokes and poor memory and probably a few more things.

birdy51

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Re: You Are a Serial Killer
« Reply #66 on: August 18, 2014, 12:32:20 pm »

Then we still ruin our high heels, and now we have to get blood off of our shoes!

We're a lady y'know! Not some seductive street scamp who likes to crush windpipes with her feet!
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SaberToothTiger

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Re: You Are a Serial Killer
« Reply #67 on: August 18, 2014, 01:02:50 pm »

We are covered in blood anyway, there won't be much more if we choke him out. And who said high heels?
Logged
I gaze into its milky depths, searching the wheat and sugar for the meanings I can never find.
It's like tea leaf divination, but with cartoon leprechauns.
There are only two sure things in life: death and taxes and lists and poor arithmetic and overlong jokes and poor memory and probably a few more things.

birdy51

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Re: You Are a Serial Killer
« Reply #68 on: August 18, 2014, 01:16:51 pm »

;.;

I like high heels...
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BIRDS.

Also started a Let's Play, Yu-Gi-Oh! Duelists of the Roses

SaberToothTiger

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Re: You Are a Serial Killer
« Reply #69 on: August 18, 2014, 02:14:14 pm »

Be quiet, mustachio - pistachio. Dis sheet's serious.
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I gaze into its milky depths, searching the wheat and sugar for the meanings I can never find.
It's like tea leaf divination, but with cartoon leprechauns.
There are only two sure things in life: death and taxes and lists and poor arithmetic and overlong jokes and poor memory and probably a few more things.

Worldmaster27

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Re: You Are a Serial Killer
« Reply #70 on: August 18, 2014, 03:14:03 pm »

+1 to all that gruesome stuff
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flame99

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Re: You Are a Serial Killer
« Reply #71 on: August 18, 2014, 03:53:20 pm »

If we get seen, we can claim that the man attempted to rape us. We attempted to defend ourselves non-lethally by grabbing a nearby discarded beer bottle, and attempting to knock him out. However, he maintained consciousness, so we panicked and ended up stabbing him. We still might get charged with manslaughter, but it's better than murder.
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Orange Wizard

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Re: You Are a Serial Killer
« Reply #72 on: August 18, 2014, 04:00:45 pm »

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Please don't shitpost, it lowers the quality of discourse
Hard science is like a sword, and soft science is like fear. You can use both to equally powerful results, but even if your opponent disbelieve your stabs, they will still die.

birdy51

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Re: You Are a Serial Killer
« Reply #73 on: August 18, 2014, 04:07:39 pm »

If we get seen, we can claim that the man attempted to rape us. We attempted to defend ourselves non-lethally by grabbing a nearby discarded beer bottle, and attempting to knock him out. However, he maintained consciousness, so we panicked and ended up stabbing him. We still might get charged with manslaughter, but it's better than murder.

...I don't think people are that gullible. But we'll see what happens. We'll definitely be wanting to run from the scene here pretty soon. We just need to be careful not to leave the bottle on the scene. It's a murder weapon now, and murder weapons have prints.
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flame99

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Re: You Are a Serial Killer
« Reply #74 on: August 18, 2014, 04:30:15 pm »

If we get seen, we can claim that the man attempted to rape us. We attempted to defend ourselves non-lethally by grabbing a nearby discarded beer bottle, and attempting to knock him out. However, he maintained consciousness, so we panicked and ended up stabbing him. We still might get charged with manslaughter, but it's better than murder.

...I don't think people are that gullible. But we'll see what happens. We'll definitely be wanting to run from the scene here pretty soon. We just need to be careful not to leave the bottle on the scene. It's a murder weapon now, and murder weapons have prints.
It's not a completely unlikely story. The man was drunk and possibly surly, and presumably nobody saw us push him in, so we could claim that he forced us into the alley. It's not foolproof, but it's something.
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It/its, they/them, in order of preference.

Not gay as in happy, queer as in fuck you.
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