Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[tuypo1]

what would dwarven airports be like im sure they would have lava under the runways to create hot air to provide extra lift but i cant decide if customs and whatnot would be fast or slow

[Sergarr]

I'm not sure dwarfs would use airports. Underground high-speed railway system, on the other hand...

[ComatosePhoenix]

I can see dwarfs flying things, just not planes, probably blimps. Big floating contraptions held aloft by essentially a gigantic bomb,

as for customs, I suppose that would depend on the trade restrictions of the noble in question.

Urist McTourist: "what do you mean I can't take my shoe's on the plane"

Urist McTSA: "I am sorry sir McMayor has prohibited ANY shoes from leaving the site, even the pilots are barefoot"

Urist McProtocol: "Current Export restrictions apply to Broadswords, chairs,  vermin remains, shoes, Peacock Leather, Magma, hats, and XsocksX"

Urist McTourist: "no not my XsocksX they are so comfortable!"

Urist McTSA: "do not worry sir, we have a special Stockpile reserved for travelers goods, we will take good care of it."

[Mesa]

I'm not sure dwarfs would use airports. Underground high-speed railway system, on the other hand...

I always wanted to have steam-powered trains in DF but I know it will never happen. :C
Still, the idea of a large connected system of railways deep beneath the mountains sounds extremely tempting, doesn't it?

[EveryZig]

I always wanted to have steam-powered trains in DF but I know it will never happen. :C
Still, the idea of a large connected system of railways deep beneath the mountains sounds extremely tempting, doesn't it?

Can't you make a minecart system run by perpetual motion machine?

[Deboche]

It would most likely be a gigantic bridge connecting two mountaintops that would retract when not in use. Before every landing, captured goblins would be released so their flesh would soften the landing as they try to escape

[tuypo1]

I can see dwarfs flying things, just not planes, probably blimps. Big floating contraptions held aloft by essentially a gigantic bomb,

as for customs, I suppose that would depend on the trade restrictions of the noble in question.

Urist McTourist: "what do you mean I can't take my shoe's on the plane"

Urist McTSA: "I am sorry sir McMayor has prohibited ANY shoes from leaving the site, even the pilots are barefoot"

Urist McProtocol: "Current Export restrictions apply to Broadswords, chairs,  vermin remains, shoes, Peacock Leather, Magma, hats, and XsocksX"

Urist McTourist: "no not my XsocksX they are so comfortable!"

Urist McTSA: "do not worry sir, we have a special Stockpile reserved for travelers goods, we will take good care of it."

and some planes would never get off the ground due to bans on the export of fuel

[Duuvian]

I imagine they would be lever operated.

[tuypo1]

I imagine they would be lever operated.

heh one lever pulled wrong and every plane comes out at once

[Uristides]

what would dwarven airports be like im sure they would have lava under the runways to create hot air to provide extra lift but i cant decide if customs and whatnot would be fast or slow

Customs would surely involve waiting for your officers to finish eating, then drinking, then going to a party, then taking a break because the party was so intense, then sleeping because the rest was quite slumber-inducing, then eating... Same applies for checkins/outs and all the flying crew.
Airport security would cause tantrum spirals when Urist McTerrorismSuspect gets bashed to death by the guard.
Much like medical labours, there would be no no pratical, safe and reliable way to train your pilots, meaning getting even a Skilled pilot would involve sending off hundreds of flights and hoping one dwarf survives enough of them.
I predict a few bugs would be present in the first few iterations of the hypothetical airport arc:
- Thieving birds try to path inside the airplane to steal stuff, colliding with the plane and exploding with it.
- Dwarves in any of the many airport queues never leave them to eat/drink/sleep, causing massive unhappy thoughts and eventually death
- Pilotting skill doesn't really influence how well your pilot is capable of taking off/landing.
- Dwarves try to leave the airplane midair to do jobs on the ground.

It would most likely be a gigantic bridge connecting two mountaintops that would retract when not in use. Before every landing, captured goblins would be released so their flesh would soften the landing as they try to escape

Why not a raising bridge? Or a big catapult/flying minecart?

[Itnetlolor]

A buzzing noise is heard in the distance, and grows ever louder...

...A shadow is cast, mightier than one could imagine. As our eyes begun to adjust... Could it be?



Did somebody mention an interest in air travel?

Funny that a bomb was mentioned as well. I found radioactive material (Pitchblende, IIRC) in my site as well, with intent to use it as a reactor core or something.

EDIT:
And yes, it was inevitable.

* Itnetlolor braces for impact

[escondida]

Let us not forget, of course, that like the noble Wagon race, æroplanes would naturally be sapient beings with families, thoughts, hopes, dreams and aspirations, held in thrall by selfish, hypocritical dwarves who won't admit this violates their anti-slavery ethic because the planes and wagons aren't remotely humanoid.

Also, they would probably be pulled by geese.

[Blastbeard]

I imagine a dwarven airport would just be a battery of long-range catapults. Dwarven innovation has always struck me as just improving an existing trick to do a job instead of coming up with something new, and with that mindset why would someone build a flying machine when they can just amp up the range on a good old fashioned stone lobber?

As for the safety and liability issues of mass transit via high velocity artillery transfer with no safe landing, I'm sure the dwarves would begrudgingly implement the joint human-elf suggestion/demand for mandatory parachutes after enough splatter-induced tantrum spirals, wars instigated by deaths of foreign nationals, and the inevitable ghost influx outpacing memorial slab production.

Naturally, once the basis of a global catapult network is established, more ambitious projects can be pursued. I'm talking about setting up a hot date between 7 dwarves, a wagon full of ale and cats, and the moon. With a catapult. It is made of cheese after all, and it's high time somebody found out which kind.
Ah, the march of progress.

[blademan9999]

what would dwarven airports be like im sure they would have lava under the runways to create hot air to provide extra lift but i cant decide if customs and whatnot would be fast or slow

Customs would surely involve waiting for your officers to finish eating, then drinking, then going to a party, then taking a break because the party was so intense, then sleeping because the rest was quite slumber-inducing, then eating... Same applies for checkins/outs and all the flying crew.
Airport security would cause tantrum spirals when Urist McTerrorismSuspect gets bashed to death by the guard.
Much like medical labours, there would be no no pratical, safe and reliable way to train your pilots, meaning getting even a Skilled pilot would involve sending off hundreds of flights and hoping one dwarf survives enough of them.
I predict a few bugs would be present in the first few iterations of the hypothetical airport arc:
- Thieving birds try to path inside the airplane to steal stuff, colliding with the plane and exploding with it.
- Dwarves in any of the many airport queues never leave them to eat/drink/sleep, causing massive unhappy thoughts and eventually death
- Pilotting skill doesn't really influence how well your pilot is capable of taking off/landing.
- Dwarves try to leave the airplane midair to do jobs on the ground.

It would most likely be a gigantic bridge connecting two mountaintops that would retract when not in use. Before every landing, captured goblins would be released so their flesh would soften the landing as they try to escape

Why not a raising bridge? Or a big catapult/flying minecart?

Dear lord someone needs to make a mod for this.

[Itnetlolor]

I imagine a dwarven airport would just be a battery of long-range catapults. Dwarven innovation has always struck me as just improving an existing trick to do a job instead of coming up with something new, and with that mindset why would someone build a flying machine when they can just amp up the range on a good old fashioned stone lobber?

As for the safety and liability issues of mass transit via high velocity artillery transfer with no safe landing, I'm sure the dwarves would begrudgingly implement the joint human-elf suggestion/demand for mandatory parachutes after enough splatter-induced tantrum spirals, wars instigated by deaths of foreign nationals, and the inevitable ghost influx outpacing memorial slab production.

Naturally, once the basis of a global catapult network is established, more ambitious projects can be pursued. I'm talking about setting up a hot date between 7 dwarves, a wagon full of ale and cats, and the moon. With a catapult. It is made of cheese after all, and it's high time somebody found out which kind.
Ah, the march of progress.

I am oddly reminded of Secret of Mana right now. The cannon transportation network across the globe.