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[random_odd_guy]

I have a problem: Namely, of my 101 dwarves, 34 are children and infants, and I'm currently experiencing IMMENSE lag, so I figure, culling 1/3 the population of my fort via mass infanticide would probably do the trick, the only problem is, I can't find a single damn way to lure them all to their deaths at once. Help me forumgoers. How can I correct this error?

[TinFoilTopHat]

Don't.
It will cause tantrum spirals to no end.
The tantrum spiral will be so strong that people in real life start destroying chairs and killing people out of extreme unhappiness.

[random_odd_guy]

Are you saying the media watchdogs are going to come for me? 

In any case, I am well aware of the risk, but everyone is in a very good mood right now (I have yet to actually LOSE anyone, I just gave them all new clothing, have been keeping up with booze and food, and everything is smoothed/engraved), so they MIGHT be able to handle it? Anyway, I am well aware of the risk. I still want to try it, so, any tips? Preferably something that doesn't take much time in game, due to aforementioned lag. REPRODUCTION IS NOW ILLEGAL.

[Maw]

Don't.
It will cause tantrum spirals to no end.

Tsk tsk. Discouraging a DF player from trying something.

This must be tested for !SCIENCE! How many deaths before an unrecoverable tantrum spiral.

[random_odd_guy]

Don't.
It will cause tantrum spirals to no end.

Tsk tsk. Discouraging a DF player from trying something.

This must be tested for !SCIENCE! How many deaths before an unrecoverable tantrum spiral.

See, I like your attitude. But, I can't think of any way to FORCIBLY INDUCE THIS, and I want JUST the children and infants, mind, not the adults who are actually useful, and not the mothers holding their infants, only the infants themselves, if possible.

[Panando]

In the past a good way to separate mothers from infants was water. I suspect in recent versions mother infant-recovery has been improved, or perhaps infants can swim, because my swimming pools haven't seemed to accumulate infants.
If you just want to smish the kiddies though that's much easier, kiddies are very easy to lure to their deaths. Here is an example of how to do it:

Build a room.
Pave the floor of the room with constructed floors - as many floors as you want dead children.
Occupy all the adults with a big hauling job and then immediately designate the floors to be deconstructed.
Kiddies will run into the room and start deconstructing floors.
Lock door, and fill room with water (or anything else which will be lethal to kiddies).

There are really a lot of variants on this theme, for example, you could have a bridge over magma, with constructed walls, have the kiddies de-construct walls then open the bridge, or lower a bridge on them, or whatever.

However I have not tested this method in this version, it relies on some dubious behaviour that Toady will probably fix one day.

I imagine you could also make a fully automated kiddy-grinder in the following way:

Use a standard 'one-way' hatch which triggers for adults but not children, that is have a pressure plate set to be triggered by anything over half the weight of a dwarf, the pressure plate is linked to a hatch over space - might need to use hatches plural to prevent jumping! Also smooth walls to prevent climbing. The hatch should be next to the pressure plate. So when an adult comes along and steps on the plate he'll be turned around by the hatch opening, but a kiddy being too light to trigger can run over the plate, across the hatch(es) into the maws of waiting death (whatever you like really). Use a meeting zone as kiddy bait. This'll also grind your animals and pets if they are light enough, and aren't pastured/chained.

There have been a lot of changes in recent versions, so these methods may not work.

[Dyrxaend]

you could just... I dont know.... use a burrow to get them to go where you need them. Then mass kill them all wyth whatevyr you want to.

[martinuzz]

Once babies grow into children, they will sleep in an owned bedroom.
Add door + lock + anything from starvation to magmaflushing the room.

[random_odd_guy]

you could just... I dont know.... use a burrow to get them to go where you need them. Then mass kill them all wyth whatevyr you want to.

I tried this. The problem is people don't GO to or stay in burrows. They just refuse to engage in any tasks that are not located in them. So unless I can give them jobs in the death spot, they won't go there. The only exception is the military alert thing. I tried drafting every adult in the fortress, and when I told the civilians to go inside (read: a single 1x1 panel under a raised drawbridge), all the adults went there too (i even made sure to put them all as active, just to be sure, no dice)

Once babies grow into children, they will sleep in an owned bedroom.
Add door + lock + anything from starvation to magmaflushing the room.

Starvation would take IRL years, and magma would take ages as well. Remember, my problem here is that my FPS has slowed to a crawl.

In the past a good way to separate mothers from infants was water. I suspect in recent versions mother infant-recovery has been improved, or perhaps infants can swim, because my swimming pools haven't seemed to accumulate infants.
If you just want to smish the kiddies though that's much easier, kiddies are very easy to lure to their deaths. Here is an example of how to do it:

Build a room.
Pave the floor of the room with constructed floors - as many floors as you want dead children.
Occupy all the adults with a big hauling job and then immediately designate the floors to be deconstructed.
Kiddies will run into the room and start deconstructing floors.
Lock door, and fill room with water (or anything else which will be lethal to kiddies).

There are really a lot of variants on this theme, for example, you could have a bridge over magma, with constructed walls, have the kiddies de-construct walls then open the bridge, or lower a bridge on them, or whatever.

However I have not tested this method in this version, it relies on some dubious behaviour that Toady will probably fix one day.

I imagine you could also make a fully automated kiddy-grinder in the following way:

Use a standard 'one-way' hatch which triggers for adults but not children, that is have a pressure plate set to be triggered by anything over half the weight of a dwarf, the pressure plate is linked to a hatch over space - might need to use hatches plural to prevent jumping! Also smooth walls to prevent climbing. The hatch should be next to the pressure plate. So when an adult comes along and steps on the plate he'll be turned around by the hatch opening, but a kiddy being too light to trigger can run over the plate, across the hatch(es) into the maws of waiting death (whatever you like really). Use a meeting zone as kiddy bait. This'll also grind your animals and pets if they are light enough, and aren't pastured/chained.

There have been a lot of changes in recent versions, so these methods may not work.

I am reluctant to use water, as that tends to drown the mothers.

[Spitemaster]

For infants, you might try riding minecarts around a circular track.  Unless it's been fixed, mothers will drop their babies when they get in.

[dudlol]

Danger room. Throw the moms into squads with swords and shields, they bring the babies into the room... Done!

[vastaghen12]

Wasn't the morale hit of losing children smaller if they never actually find the body?

If so, one of the best possible way is  to create a chute to the magma sea in which you sacrifice your children to Armok.

[Mimodo]

I have a similar problem, and a slightly worse ratio of children (77/202), and think mass infanticide is a great idea!

I swear to Armok, those kids can outparty even the wildest human teenager! Two years old and the bloody thing is attending a party!

[Mardukker]

Trap them one floor above the entrance to the HFS, over a bunch of constructed floors (using maybe a lever that traps whoever pulls it). Then you order them to remove said floors and you'll then have a cave-in that lets the circus out.

If they could fight, this could be considered weaponization.

[Agent_Irons]

Make a bedroom, fill it with upright spikes, link them to a lever. Assign the bedroom to children and set the lever to repeat.

It'll take a while and you'll get only one at a time (unless you put lots of beds in your murder room...) but it costs very little FPS.