SORRY FOR THE DELAY; HEADACHE DISRUPTED GM PROCESSES
ALSO THE GAME IS BEING EXTENDED BY FIVE TURNS
Right.
BEGIN OPENING MORE PORTALS IN RELATIVELY UNSETTLED AREAS! AND BY RELATIVELY I MEAN BASICALLY COMPLETELY, AKA UNDERGROUND CAVERNS AND WHATNOT SO AS TO NOT INCREASE NERVOUSNESS.
(5)THE UNDERGROUND CAVE NETWORK IS NOW BASICALLY HELL
+7 AAP
WITH THIS GPS NO LOCATIONS ARE OUT OF MY REACH! RELEASE CTHULHU USING THE POWERS OF THE GLOBAL POSITIONING SYSTEM IN THE NAME OF MY NEW MASTER
(5)CTHULU HAS BEEN RELEASED AS A SERVANT OF THE UNDERWORLD
+6 AAP
HUMANITY'S INSANITY INCREASED SOMEWHAT
LAUNCH NUKES AT EVERYTHING! FOR THE OBAMACULT!
(6)MUCH OF NORTH AMERICA IS DESTROYED
+4 AAP
HUMANITY'S NERVOUSNESS INCREASED SIGNIFICANTLY
HUMANITY'S PRODUCTIVITY DECREASED SLIGHTLY
START YELLING AT PEOPLE THAT BANANAS IS THE UNIVERSAL CURRENCY NOW
(6)BANANAS BECOME THE UNIVERSAL CURRENCY
PEOPLE ADAPT TO THE NEW STANDARD; LITTLE CONFUSION RESULTS
NO AAP FOR YOU
EXPLODE THE PRO-HUMANITY ROBOTS. HOPEFULLY WITH LARGE AMOUNTS OF COLLATERAL DAMAGE.
ALSO, WELCOME TO THE FORUMS OKJOE.
(6)THE REST OF NORTH AMERICA IS DESTROYED, ALONG WITH THE PRO-HUMANITY ROBOTS
UNFORTUNATELY, YOUR MECH IS DESTROYED AS WELL
+8 AAP
create nanites to control the magma
(2)YOU FAIL
Launch nukes at everything! For the Obamacult
HELP HIM WITH NUCLEAR WAR BY ALSO LAUNCHING NUKES AT MOTHER RUSSIA'S ENEMIES
ALSO, EXTEND THE APOCALYPSE BY 5 TURNS
(2)YOU DON'T HAVE ANY NUKES
pump cannabis into the atmosphere
(6)PEOPLE FEEL MORE RELAXED, BUT SOME OVERDOSE AND DIE; THIS FREAKS EVERYONE OUT
HUMANITY'S NERVOUSNESS IS UNAFFECTED
cause everyone to sleep eternally
(3)YOU MAKE SEVERAL RANDOM PEOPLE AROUND THE WORLD FALL ASLEEP
+1 AAP
CONSTRUCT A PORTAL GUN
(6)THE PORTAL GUN TURNS OUT TO BE SENTIENT
IT USES A PORTAL TO STRAND YOU IN THE BERMUDA TRIANGLE
MAKE HAPPY, RELAXING DANCING COMPULSORY UNDER PAIN OF DEATH.
(2)YOU ARE UNABLE TO GET THE WORLD'S GOVERNMENTS TO ENACT THIS LAW
COMBINE LYEOS, COMRADE SHAMROCK, POKETO, AND MY AAP INTO ONE TO CREATE THE ULTRAMEGAAPOCAYLSPSE! WE WON'T GET THIS APOCALYSE ON THE ROAD IF WE CAN'T DO IT RIGHT NOW, DAMN THE NERVOUSNESS!
Screw the European prison tour. Support this
(3+1)UNFORTUNATELY, A 4 IS NOT ENOUGH TO MAKE A META-ACTION SUCCEED
Hail to the confusion!
(3)THIS ACTION IS TOO CONFUSING. I'M NOT GIVING IT ANY RESULTS.
Hail to the confusion!
HAIL TO THE CHIEF. THE EP CHIEF OF THE ELEPHANT APOCALYPSE.
(3)...OKAY?
INVITE THE ALIENS TO EARTH WITH THE PROMISE OF TAKING OVER THE REMAINS
(3)THE ALIENS SEND A FEW SHIPS OVER, BUT THEY'RE TOO BUSY ABDUCTING COWS TO DO ANYTHING.
+1 AAP
I GUESS TERMINATOR CLONES ARE NOT GONNA BE A THING ANYMORE, SO BEGIN TO ADD DEMON PORTALS AROUND IRELAND.
(1)YOU ACCIDENTALLY CLOSE ALL DEMON PORTALS AROUND IRELAND
-3 AAP
THE DEMON RETURNS TO HELL
OBAMACULT: 8
NATURAL DISASTER: 5
SENTIENT CLOTHING: 2
DEMONS: 24 / PORTAL
MAGIC CORRUPTION: -1
KILLER PLANTS: 0
ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE: -5
TERRORISTS: 5
GIANT ROBOTS: 26
DRUGS: 3
PRISONER REBELLION: 5
OVERPOPULATION: 1
CONFUSION: 5
ETERNAL SLEEP: 1
ALIENS: 1
HUMANITY NERVOUSNESS: !!!NEAR-MAXIMUM!!!
HUMANITY PRODUCTIVITY: AWFUL
HUMANITY INSANITY: SLIGHT
FROM NOW ON, CTHULU WILL PERFORM AN ACTION EACH TURN. THE HIGHER HUMANITY'S INSANITY IS, THE MORE ODDLY IT WILL REACT TO EVENTS. IF HUMANITY'S INSANITY REACHES MAXIMUM, CTHULU WILL BREAK FREE OF UNDERWORLD CONTROL AND MAKE EVERYONE INSANE, MAKING IT WIN THE GAME AND EVERYONE ELSE
TRIPLE LOSE.