Find coffee!
[12] Coffee is provided for you!
I'm an old man residing the space station for many years!
I always wanted to be a piiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiirate!
JUMP IN FRONT OF THE CAPTAIN WITH MY LITTLE SKULLS UNDERWEAR AND MY TRUSTY sharpened BUTTER KNIFE AND OFFER HIM MY SERVICES!
...and if this fails:
GRUMBLE ABOUT IT AND WAKE UP THE SPACE SHERIFF!
[3] You stumble in general direction of the captain with your pink heart underwear and your lying, scheming, blunt cake fork.
[2] The RNG shows you no favour. The space sheriff does not wake.
<snip>
Do you have my coffee?!
[3] This roll doesn't matter!
<snip>
Do you have my coffee?!
Of course I have coffee! What crazy pirate has no coffee?
*Hands BG a bottle of decaf coffee with gim*
Receive GLORIOUS COFFEE!!
[4] You hand the captain some
gim!
Drink the coffee.
Promptly spit it out.
DIE!!!
Kill him!
[2] The coffee is disgusting!
[1] You spit it all over your trousers!
[3 vs 11] You flail your broken, bruised arms in his vague direction, be Cattani is too fast!
The doctor said I cant drink regular coffee!
RUN FROM BG WHILE BEGGING FOR MY LIFE (and possibly a job)
You wouldn't kill an old man with prosthetic legs like me, would you?
If that fails:
STEAM-POWERED PROSTHETIC KICK!
[11 vs 3] You run with the greatest of haste! BG cannot keep up!
Assist Cap'n Heinrich in beating the snot out of Cattani! This is a great way to gain favour!
"Yeah, you shouldn't have tried to poison the cap'n! Also uh, cap'n, shouldn't we be, y'know, getting out of here?"
[2 vs 11] Cattani kicks the snot out of you!
Steal the ship.
[3] You don't know how to hotwire a spaceship.
REALISE THAT PEOPLE WOULD THINK THAT VIDEO GAME COMPANIES WOULD NEVER TRY TO TAKE OVER THE MULTIVERSE DUE TO HOW LITTLE OF REASORCERS THEY HAVE
[6] You consider the possibility.
Learn magic.
[11] You study your spellbook.
Fire a laser at the Central Control panel/system/thing.
[5] You take one of LSP's lasers, but the battery is dead.
Author
Topic: ROLL TO BE A SPACE PIRATE: A MINIMALIST ONE (Read 70985 times)