>Escape from the s-bend when house is blown apart by lightning strike.
>Go take a nice hot shower and try to forget my troubles for a moment.
(6)The lightning strikes you. It destroys the toilet, but you are severely damaged. -2 to all actions.
Play DF, with a new and mysterious "Creepy DF" mod installed.
(1)You fail to install the mod. You ask for help; the only response is "delete System32". You do so. Your computer is bricked.
Unfortunately, it turns out that you were a cyborg running off of the computer. You die.
This looks like a job for... MORNINGBIRD!!!
Get Yoink out of the toilet
(4)He's not in the toilet. You kick him away from where the toilet was.
Respawn. Sit in a chair and read my book.
(2)The house has no chairs. You sit on a floor. Unfortunately, you strain your back. -1 to heavy lifting and combat.
Respawn and get magic kung-fu powers
(3)You get the power to be especially vulnerable to kung-fu. -3 to fighting martial artists.
Teleport myself inside it using the teleport magic I learned from that magic homeless guy the other day. That was one crazy day.
(3)You teleport yourself into the wall. Looks like the magic wasn't strong enough! You suffocate and die.
"Ah, hello officer. Is there a problem here?"
Try to smooth talk the cop into letting me go.
(2)The cop arrests you for stealing and interfering with justice.
Cook a dinner.
(3)You burn your arm on the stove. Unfortunately, this distracts you from the rice you were cooking. The rice is burnt to a crisp.
Go and rob a convenience store
(2)You are stopped by the police, who ask you why you're wearing a ski mask and carrying a bag.
Strengthen my psionic powers.
(6)You can now hear everyone's thoughts at once. Unfortunately, you can't turn it off. You go insane and kill yourself.
The Froggy Ninja has set the new high score!START THE COMMUNIST REVOLUTION
(4)You manage to get a few people to join you in your revolution.
Start a Final Fantasy I-esque battle between the cops and myself.
(2)You swing your fist at the cops from a distance, but nothing happens.
Respawn and call the cops
(5)You call the cops. The cops show up, confused at why there are already cops.