Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[tuypo1]

crack house

ive always thought the crack house in hellmoo should switch its name with the crack mansion

[BFEL]

Fire my BLASTER PISTOL into NAVs face. Seriously, what a dick. Afterwards buy some spice from the devil lady.

[Fniff]

global event! tuypo just detonated a bomb and made some of the floor cave in

Apply oil to hands and bum and prepare for crack extraction

[1] you rub your hands with cooking oil reach in and now your hands are stuck as well

this is not a dignified position

status: hands stuck up ass
inventory: ass crack cooking oil
8 turns until withdrawal from crack

Yyuûuuuuu fail you FAILPPPPPPPPPOOOKwasrggbbb. The true self can be  lpppphph itty is noevvh 567876333333333343333333ßthpy lost on the shored lost on they ehfyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy nbhhhh hvhvjvhvhvh

DRINK SOMETHING FROM THE KITCHEN

[5] you find a bottle of medical alcohol clutched in a deathgrip by an angel you rip it out spraying ichor all over your face then start drinking ooooh thats the rub
status: bleeding hand covered in sandpaper
nuclear hands
empty bottle of medical alcohol
14 turns until withdrawal from alcohol

I'm not dead yet, Disarm and Then take knife then cut him open with knife that just took from him

[1] this all implies grace and strength which are the two things you are lacking in apparently you try to grab his knife and he instead stabs you [5] turns out that grace and strength is definitely what he possesses as you have a knife stuck in your neck you spend your last moments writhing around on the floor and screaming
you are dead: first death

find someone who looksssss stoned
ask if they have any smack i can borrrrow

finding someone who looks stoned is not a difficult task in a crackhoooooouuuuussssseeeee [4] you ask a guy wearing a dog's skin for some smaaaaaaaack he says cooooooooool you now have enough heroooooin to shake off withdrawal foooooor nooooow perhaps you should save iiiiiiiit cos it just brings it back up to teeeeeeeen turns and that would be kind of a waaaaaaaste right now

inventory: empty neeeeeedle
9 turns until withdrawaaaaaal from heroooooooin

Head inside.

all you see is sin and debuarchy this is not a house of JEE-ZUS but it'll be have to do
inventory: hatchet

9 turns until withdrawal from JEE-ZUS

Nav needs alcohol to get through the working day. Find something to brew and brew it.

god you hate how that asshole managed to find some booze but fuck it FUCK IT youll make your own [3] you get some capri-sun in a plastic bottle and set it to brew itll take about four turns and it will be most likely shit since it is hootch
status: hand is fucked other hand is on fire
inventory: empty whiskey bottle caprisun brew (0/4 turns)
7 turns until withdrawal from alcohol

Ask the corpse what happened. Give him the bullet in the cartridge. Take the sword and crossbow with me while I try to find "important evidence".

[3] "dude what happened"

"I SHALL SWALLOW YOUR SOUL AND SING TO THE HIGHEST PRAISES YOUR FLESH

"well jeez dude if youre going to be like that you can fuck right off"

you throw the bullet at him then head off to find some more important evidence [5] oh hey you knock over a crate in the storage room where the crack wizard is at and you find a stash full of drugs this is neat theres about 4 drugs in here: meth and 2 bags of heroin there is also a dirty needle filled with a clear substance marked "STEM CELLS" in marker pen you wonder if you can get high off that
improvised bastard sword gorey crossbow
8 turns until withdrawal from heroin

Make better crack. Smoke better crack. Gain super powers from better crack.

while that salsacookies dick is knocking shit about you try making better crack [1] oh shit your crack wizard powers are working against you (somehow since theyre just practical skills) and you just made sulphuric acid man even when you fuck it up its great still your hands are literally melting
status: hands melting
inventory: 99.9% baking powder 1% unidentified white substance from carpet
9 turns until withdrawal from crack

engage bass combat.

god stabbing nosaneinme was uncalled for you raise your bass above the guys head and [1] break the bass over his head he turns around and frowns at you [4] then slices your face open fuck this hurts but itll make a neat scar
status: face slashed open
inventory: bass
8 turns until withdrawal from heroin

in my alcohol fuelled depression start rigging the basement to explode taking the whole dam crack house with it

you head down to the basement for the first time anyone has done so (give me a bit to upload the map but youre in it okay) [2] you didnt bring any bomb making materials [6-1=5] doesnt matter you could make a mech from a box of scraps you detonate the explosives and... well you dont take the crackhouse out but you seem to have caused some parts of the floor to cave in
10 turns until withdrawal from alcohol

Go inside the crack house and look for a kitchen.  If I find one, search it for alcohol.

you go inside the kitchen with all the other guys and try to look for some booze [2] you find an empty can of ginger ale
inventory: orange juice ginger ale
9 turns until withdrawal from alcohol

crack house

you say tomato i say tomato we all die alone in a godless universe

Fire my BLASTER PISTOL into NAVs face. Seriously, what a dick. Afterwards buy some spice from the devil lady.

[6] surprise surprise you actually do have a blaster pistol that you stole off a scientist [2] this does not mean you are any good with it so you miss [3] you manage to score some garlic off the chick man why doesnt this place have your space drugs
inventory: black pepper oregano garlic blaster pistol
7 turns until withdrawal from heroin

Spoiler: map (click to show/hide)

Yoink: f6
Beirus: k14
darkpaladin: f6
Lyeos: f8
NAV: i8
Harry Baldman: f10
NoSaneInMe's Corpse: f11
TamerVirus: i10
UltraValican: i9
BFEL: i8
BFEL's ride: g4
Salsacookies: i13
Nunsillor: i7
F5 door: smashed to pieces
G5 window: smashed open
Cache at i13: depleted
stash at k15: 4 items (2 heroin, 1 meth, 1 stem cell)

[Yoink]

thank the dog maaaaan

then ransack the kitchen for spoons, as well as something to tie off my arm

then barricade myself in a small, unoccupied room somewhere

[LordSlowpoke]

house crack

[poketwo]

HAVE MY ADICTION BE COMMUNISM

[tuypo1]

discover caverns and dungeons under crack house begin quest to retrieve the amulet of yendor

[Beirus]

Make miracle crack with stem cells. Smoke miracle crack.

[Nosaneinme]

But I wasn't dead because it was Dream and going to wake up now

[Lyeos]

But I wasn't dead because it was Dream and going to wake up now

Butcher his corpse, for JEE-ZUS!

[TamerVirus]

Otis now7 fog rip on reality Deddrfyuvjreeeeemnnnnyyyyyyhhhhytnyrh this ubuhub sub sleep ifffttyyyyy tbtbtbrvvbvvvvvvv why you tswwwweeewhy did hhhhhyruithwe soul emissary lost thityg. Lost the mon the stars the moon the btu who is

Throw the bottle at a DEMON

(Fun fact: all the red text posted are excerpts from the actual time I was tripping balls and decided to document on the notes function of my ipad) 

[tuypo1]

Otis now7 fog rip on reality Deddrfyuvjreeeeemnnnnyyyyyyhhhhytnyrh this ubuhub sub sleep ifffttyyyyy tbtbtbrvvbvvvvvvv why you tswwwweeewhy did hhhhhyruithwe soul emissary lost thityg. Lost the mon the stars the moon the btu who is

Throw the bottle at a DEMON

(Fun fact: all the red text posted are excerpts from the actual time I was trying balls and decided to document on the notes function of my ipad)

i think they should use those quotes at anti drug seminars at schools and things there sure to scare the children off

[TamerVirus]

(Other fun fact: scared straight and other anti drug programs do fuck all to stop people from doing drugs the moment they hit late high school or college))

[tuypo1]

(Other fun fact: scared straight and other anti drug programs do fuck all to stop people from doing drugs the moment they hit late high school or college))

never head of scared strait but yes they probably are rather ineffective and im going to say as long as you crazy americans keep your stupid university for all mentality your always going to have problems university should be for people who want to learn advanced skills and things it shouldent be an expectation of something everybody will do i auctualy used to think that menality was made up for tv when i found out the country was auctualy like that i broke down in tears

[BFEL]

(Other fun fact: scared straight and other anti drug programs do fuck all to stop people from doing drugs the moment they hit late high school or college))

never head of scared strait but yes they probably are rather ineffective and im going to say as long as you crazy americans keep your stupid university for all mentality your always going to have problems university should be for people who want to learn advanced skills and things it shouldent be an expectation of something everybody will do i auctualy used to think that menality was made up for tv when i found out the country was auctualy like that i broke down in tears

What really sucks is that even with said advanced skills and a job appropriate for said skills it takes silly amounts of time to pay off the student loans, because knowledge is more expensive then crack.
OOO someone should be addicted to knowledge

Also:
Go grab a needle of heroin from that box that dude opened. Then resume quest for spice.