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Author Topic: The terrible artifact topic.  (Read 13523 times)

Sirbug

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Re: The terrible artifact topic.
« Reply #60 on: October 25, 2014, 10:52:47 am »

I think leather flute was and always will be the most ill-advised item-material combo I ever encountered.
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Cool, but wouldn't this likely lead to tongues having a '[SPEACH]' tag, and thus via necromancy we would have nearly unkillable reanimated tongues following necromancers spamming 'it is sad but not unexpected'?

Nyxalinth

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Re: The terrible artifact topic.
« Reply #61 on: January 05, 2015, 12:13:31 am »

Not so terrible as much as boring, bu I got a silver bed with hanging rings of silver.

It was a possession :(
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Nyxalinth likes the color blue, gaming, writing, art, cats for their aloofness,  Transformers for their sentience and ability to transform, and the Constructicons for their hard work and building skills. Whenever possible, she prefers to consume bacon cheeseburgers and pinot noir. She absolutely detests stupid people.

StagnantSoul

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Re: The terrible artifact topic.
« Reply #62 on: January 05, 2015, 12:19:41 am »

I got a platinum toy hammer, with an image of a hammer dwarf striking down a weretiger.
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Iamblichos

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Re: The terrible artifact topic.
« Reply #63 on: January 05, 2015, 06:15:53 am »

A wooden ring, with bands of wood and hanging rings of wood.
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I'm new to succession forts in general, yes, but do all forts designed by multiple overseers inevitably degenerate into a body-filled labyrinth of chaos and despair like this? Or is this just a Battlefailed thing?

There isn't much middle ground between killed-by-dragon and never-seen-by-dragon.

Dwarf4Explosives

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Re: The terrible artifact topic.
« Reply #64 on: January 05, 2015, 07:48:08 am »

I got a platinum toy hammer, with an image of a hammer dwarf striking down a weretiger.
That one actually kind of makes sense.
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And yet another bit of proof that RNG is toying with us. We do 1984, it does animal farm
...why do your hydras have two more heads than mine? 
Does that mean male hydras... oh god dammit.

Nyxalinth

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Re: The terrible artifact topic.
« Reply #65 on: January 05, 2015, 09:48:59 am »

I got a platinum toy hammer, with an image of a hammer dwarf striking down a weretiger.
That one actually kind of makes sense.

It does.  Shame it's a toy, though.

In my example, it could have been much worse: the blacksmith who made the bed liked crowns, so I could have ended up with a wholly useless possession.
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Nyxalinth likes the color blue, gaming, writing, art, cats for their aloofness,  Transformers for their sentience and ability to transform, and the Constructicons for their hard work and building skills. Whenever possible, she prefers to consume bacon cheeseburgers and pinot noir. She absolutely detests stupid people.

Larix

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Re: The terrible artifact topic.
« Reply #66 on: January 05, 2015, 07:41:49 pm »

Re: platinum toy hammer - since general item type is dictated by the highest moodable skill, this was guaranteed to be a fundamentally useless item anyway (the only good outcome of a metalcrafting mood can be a legendary metalcrafter).

Recent lame artefact: Tarnature the galena puzzlebox.
This is a galena puzzlebox. All craftsdwarfship is of the highest quality. This object menaces with spikes of emerald. On the object is an image of squares in galena. On the item is an image of a square cut gem in cat bone.

These are easily the least impressive images i've seen in quite a while. To round it off, this was a possession of an already-legendary engraver. An utterly pointless mood to fit the utterly unimpressive item it churned out.
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StagnantSoul

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Re: The terrible artifact topic.
« Reply #67 on: January 05, 2015, 07:43:46 pm »

He was both legendary in metal crafting and armouring. I was hoping to get a mail shirt, since he liked those.
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Quote from: Cptn Kaladin Anrizlokum
I threw night creature blood into a night creature's heart and she pulled it out and bled to death.
Quote from: Eric Blank
Places to jibber madly at each other, got it
Quote from: NJW2000
If any of them are made of fire, throw stuff, run, and think non-flammable thoughts.

mlwestman

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Re: The terrible artifact topic.
« Reply #68 on: January 05, 2015, 11:44:34 pm »

Back after a few months away from DF, and my first artifact is "Akimadil, "The Brilliant Walls", a birchen toy hammer.

This is a birchen toy hammer. All craftsdwarfship is of the highest quality. It is decorated with birch.


And I thought I'd lucked out to get a High Master Furnace Operator in the first two migrant waves. Ah, well. Embark had exposed magnetite, dolomite, and bituminous coal within sight of the wagon.
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Arcvasti

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Re: The terrible artifact topic.
« Reply #69 on: January 05, 2015, 11:49:05 pm »

Gemspikes the Adamantine war hammer. Not only does it use a ridiculously valuable material, but because of how light adamantine is, its about as deadly as a hammer made of styrofoam.
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Elf Lover

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Re: The terrible artifact topic.
« Reply #70 on: January 06, 2015, 08:02:04 am »

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Every Dwarf Fortress Fort is a concentration camp, only without the nazis.

Findulidas

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Re: The terrible artifact topic.
« Reply #71 on: January 06, 2015, 12:22:22 pm »

I remember once when a fel mood caused a dwarf to slaughter the legendary armorsmith and make a bone chair out of him. I put in the legendary dining room for everyone to use and none seemed to object.
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...wonderful memories of the creeping sense of dread...

94dima94

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Re: The terrible artifact topic.
« Reply #72 on: January 20, 2015, 12:46:41 pm »

I'll always remember my steel toy boat. Not only it was useless, it actually KILLED EVERYBODY.

The dwarf who crafted that took BOTH of the metal bars I had left. I needed those, to make another pick after my entire mining squad was killed in a magma accident (... we don't talk about that).

So, I had no pickaxe to dig out and save from the cave my INCREDIBLY POPULAR mayor.

Blah blah blah tantrums, blah blah blah horrible deaths... you know the deal.

DAMN TOY BOAT!
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FallenAngel

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Re: The terrible artifact topic.
« Reply #73 on: January 20, 2015, 02:08:45 pm »

I once got a golden spear.
Not especially useful, but extremely snazzy and decorative.

Badger Storm

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Re: The terrible artifact topic.
« Reply #74 on: January 20, 2015, 02:38:06 pm »

I don't care what useless crap they make as long as they get to legendary.  A possession, on the other hand, had better be something at least usable.  You can not get any skill, or you can make something worthless.  Not both!
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