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Author Topic: The terrible artifact topic.  (Read 13518 times)

greycat

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Re: The terrible artifact topic.
« Reply #15 on: July 22, 2014, 12:18:50 pm »

I still haven't got a single artifact in any 0.40 game yet.
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Hell, if nobody's suffocated because of it, it hardly counts as a bug! -- StLeibowitz

Loam

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Re: The terrible artifact topic.
« Reply #16 on: July 22, 2014, 02:44:33 pm »

A chalk throne, with an image of a rat on it. Worse, it was a possession, so he got no skill from it.

It's still going in my dining hall.
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Thob Goes to the Surface (Adventure Mode story, in progress)

Ladygolem

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Re: The terrible artifact topic.
« Reply #17 on: July 22, 2014, 09:21:21 pm »



A bed... covered in spikes. Maybe one of my dwarves is some sort of ascetic monk?

neblime

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Re: The terrible artifact topic.
« Reply #18 on: July 22, 2014, 10:16:29 pm »

man possesions suck :\
I did get an adamantine toy hammer once.  An adamantine hammer wasn't bad enough for this guy, he had to take it to the next level.  Also an adamantine animal trap.  I never use animal traps.. are they actually any good?
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I am quite looking forward to the next 20 or 30 years or so of developmental madness

Echostatic

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Re: The terrible artifact topic.
« Reply #19 on: July 23, 2014, 08:47:33 am »

My fortress got its first artifact. "Spasmlocked the Tall Plain-Authority". An olivine toy boat. I was initially quite disappointed at the useless thing the 14 year old made... But then I noticed he carved an image of an elf being killed by a roc onto it based on an event from two years ago, and I decided it wasn't that bad after all. Not bad, kid. Have your own bedroom.
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ComatosePhoenix

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Re: The terrible artifact topic.
« Reply #20 on: July 23, 2014, 09:02:13 am »


its named the "fleshy bear", and its covered in bone and spikes,

good luck sleeping in that thing Urist McNoble.
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Iamblichos

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Re: The terrible artifact topic.
« Reply #21 on: July 23, 2014, 09:23:12 am »

Artifact beds are always high in awesomeness.  One of them eliminates the need for so many golden ornaments in a noble's rooms...
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I'm new to succession forts in general, yes, but do all forts designed by multiple overseers inevitably degenerate into a body-filled labyrinth of chaos and despair like this? Or is this just a Battlefailed thing?

There isn't much middle ground between killed-by-dragon and never-seen-by-dragon.

Romegypt

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Re: The terrible artifact topic.
« Reply #22 on: July 23, 2014, 09:28:42 am »

I've noticed practically every artifact has spikes on it

It's a dwarven fetish :D
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TheFlame52

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Re: The terrible artifact topic.
« Reply #23 on: July 23, 2014, 10:11:42 am »

I've noticed practically every artifact has spikes on it

It's a dwarven fetish :D
Actually, dwarves are more likely to put spikes or rings on an object. It's in their entity file.

Bartholomew The Pious

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Re: The terrible artifact topic.
« Reply #24 on: July 23, 2014, 08:58:15 pm »

-native gold millstone-
My imp at Urorurilar mooded and made a native gold millstone, too!
I did forbid and all that to get platinum and aluminum into the artifact though.

What's even worse this time around is the moody dwarf became a tanner instead zomgosh
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I can't quote for squat, but this is very true. Credit to PTTG?? for this insightful comment.
~Haven & Hearth has always been a terrible game with great promise. That promise kind of faded away, and now it's mainly a way for a few dedicated scumbags to annoy the few new people who drift in.~

GuesssWho

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Re: The terrible artifact topic.
« Reply #25 on: July 25, 2014, 04:32:17 am »

man possesions suck :\
I did get an adamantine toy hammer once.  An adamantine hammer wasn't bad enough for this guy, he had to take it to the next level.  Also an adamantine animal trap.  I never use animal traps.. are they actually any good?

I've got a toy candy hammer too. And a glove called Cryptswallows the Slick Lung, which sounds horribly autopsy-related.
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I have no clue what I am doing here.


I have no idea where anything is. I have no idea what anything does. This is not merely a madhouse designed by a madman, but a madhouse designed by many madmen, each with an intense hatred for the previous madman's unique flavour of madness.

Manivald

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Re: The terrible artifact topic.
« Reply #26 on: July 25, 2014, 06:38:37 am »

My worst artifact was definitely a gem mug, with menacing spikes of pig tail fiber. Dwarves never use mugs, and gem mugs are part of a bug that stops them from being sent to a stockpile. Thus the mug was just left at the workshop, buried under rock nest boxes.
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Agent_Irons

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Re: The terrible artifact topic.
« Reply #27 on: July 25, 2014, 09:46:33 am »

Adamantine warhammers are fairly useful, actually. I'm giving it to my hammerer to dispense Justice with.

Although it'll give a hit to my dining room wealth, where it used to live.
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GuesssWho

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Re: The terrible artifact topic.
« Reply #28 on: July 25, 2014, 11:47:06 am »

Adamantine warhammers are fairly useful, actually. I'm giving it to my hammerer to dispense Justice with.

Although it'll give a hit to my dining room wealth, where it used to live.
Yeah, but these are TOY hammers. Truly pathetic.
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I have no clue what I am doing here.


I have no idea where anything is. I have no idea what anything does. This is not merely a madhouse designed by a madman, but a madhouse designed by many madmen, each with an intense hatred for the previous madman's unique flavour of madness.

ComatosePhoenix

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Re: The terrible artifact topic.
« Reply #29 on: July 30, 2014, 11:03:18 am »



alright nothing inherently wrong with this one, other than the last description. The image is an image of a gem in gems. For more fun, I am pretty sure the gem in the image is the same gem as the one he made the image out of.

also the artifact name is atolkoth, graphics pack is glitching the text so I can't read the translation.
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