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[Meph]

It wasnt the acolyte that cast the spell, but the master, who timed the spell well with the transformation of the acolyte. he is still out there...

[Bodkin]

Press F10, or F11 twice. It temporarily fixes it.

Aahhhhh, good luck. Temples help, maybe, a bit. I would really, really recommend getting a Ward of Armok from somewhere.

Meph, you are invaluable. And thanks for the mod!

[Bodkin]

15th Timber

The children in the fortress are still having nightmares of the carp thing that attacked them. Meanwhile, we continue to interview the goblins, seeking to establish a free and open dialog that will help us investigate this “elephant rape” complaint they have filed with our office of grievances. Unfortunately their manner of discussion lacks politeness, and the stench of goblin corpses grows thicker with each failure of communication.


1st Opal

Two more dwarves have given themselves over to the evil of the so-called carp god. Evil they may be, but smart they are not: one of them was a child, and didn’t last a minute against the bystanders around him; the other transformed while sleeping, and was beaten to a pulp by a nearby child! (This was one of my favorite DF moments. Apparently, combat strikes do not wake a sleeping carp monster.)

Still exceedingly worrisome, though, is the magic these fish perverts wield. As these two transformed, a wave of magic nauseated everyone in the fortress!



We’re still wiping up the mess. Fortunately, Meph, one of the wise elder dwarves, says he has seen this situation before. He tells us we need something called a “Ward of Armok” to show us the path. So we’ll bring one of those to the fortress as quickly as we can; and until then, we’ll just have to keep killing our children as fast as they can transform themselves into ungodly fish beings.


17th Obsidian

Blood, violence, the usual doings. Now we’ve got kobolds, frost giants, and some sort of abominations known as “beak wolves” to contend with. These last attempted to lay siege with a force of 16 while we hosted a drow (drowven?) trade caravan; only six of them left with their lives.

On the plus side, mate888 has built us a fantastic artifact shield: “Drillclam the Gale of Brilliances,” a fur buckler. It’s a lovely piece of work: mate888 is now a legendary tanner, exactly as the guidance counselor predicted.

[Bodkin]

A big twist today! And one badass dwarven baby.

After today's battle was over, one of my woodworkers had the "recover wounded" labor. I followed him, because I wanted to see that the wounded baby made it safely to the hospital. So imagine my surprise when my woodworker walked into the hospital and dropped the severed foot of a goblin thief onto a hospital bed, then turned to other business. Has anyone seen this before?



4th Granite

Here’s a kobold thief in the exact moment of realizing he made the wrong career choice:




1st Slate

The time has come. I grow weary of the dwarves and their foolish obsession with drink and industry. I embrace the darkness. I embrace the carpness. DIE, DWARVES, DIE, SERVANTS OF ARMOK, DIE, DIE, DIE!

(At this point the journal of Astesh Armorfurnaced terminates. The remainder of the pages are torn to shreds and stained with blood.)


(The following is from the journal of Kokdath Alathag, fortress Psychiatrist.)

These carp worshipers are fascinating, fascinating! What formative urges is this phenomenon expressive of? The cult has now seduced a noble and a soldier. It seems to me that we are seeing a manifestation of the Onolpal Complex, that is, the desire to kill one’s father and have sex with carp. If only one of these fascinating specimens could be captured -- these ichthyosexual monomaniacs must be studied! What a celebrated researcher I could become! I wonder if I can learn to think like one of these creatures.

Now if only I can get the dwarves to stop pestering me so I can focus on the carp. That’s the thing I hate most about psychiatry: being expected to help dwarves. What do they think? That they're family?


(The following is excerpted from the journal of Zaneg Fancinessbottled the Periwinkle Myth of Thunders, military commander.)

I AM GONNA MURDER EVERY LAST ONE OF THESE TREACHEROUS FISH-LOVING DEVIANTS. COME AND GET WHAT’S COMING, YOU … (The writing becomes illegible at this point, with bits of graphite embedded into deep gouge marks, and spittle flecked onto the pages.)


(The following is taken from the journal of Ngalak Feastdooms, fortress record keeper.)

This carp situation has gotten entirely out of hand. The most recent pair to turn were among the most important dwarves in our fortress. The first was our baroness. She was hand-picked for the position out of all the Prats, because her unskilled labor would not be missed, and because she expressed preferences for items that are actually useful, and so would give us fewer imbecilic mandates than most nobles would. But she wasn’t even in the role long enough for her office to be furnished, before she forsook the easy life of nobility in favor of carpist violence.

To make things far worse, she was carrying her infant. See what passes for parenting among the carp idolators:



She never dropped the baby. She carried it with her throughout the fight, cruelly holding it up as a dwarven shield. Even after she was run through from behind by Zaneg’s spear, she held the wounded child, looking for her chance to finish it. The infant, however, is being celebrated throughout the fortress for the fight that it put up. His name is Shuseg Figurefence. It’s remarkable that he survived at all, let alone fought back so ferociously after his little arm was destroyed. Unfortunately, as of this writing, our littlest warrior still has not been recovered to the hospital. I'd do it myself, but ... well, I've got record-keeping to attend to.

Amazingly, Astesh, our deadliest soldier, failed to cause any injury to the dwarves around him. The transformation to his new carpling body must have caused him to forget his physical training -- thank Armok for that. In fact, the baroness fought better than he did, and brutally crushed a war mastiff's leg with a joint lock.

Fish blood now stains our food stores, making it really unpleasant for me to count the food and drink items. Also, we have lost our baroness and our best fighter. This bodes ill.

The new mayor has proclaimed a day of mourning, but most of us are going about our business anyway.

The psychiatrist, Kokdath, has another desperate dwarf stalking him, demanding his time for a therapy session. Her name is Catten Creepfurnaced. And here’s a twist: she’s his wife! In my opinion, they’re both extremely creepy and they deserve each other richly.

[Senshuken]

Senshuken's account of events: Entry 4

I've said that I in love with this fortress before and I am sticking by my statement!

A plague that turns dwarfs into insane, possibly demonic fish people (note to self, try to confirm if fish people are demonic. It's kind of hard to tell with fish), the utterly epic battle between the recently transformed Baroness and her infant kid, Astesh Armorfurnaced the Blighted Flute of Tusks (May have to look into why this is. The goblins that were killed in the process of earning that title were screaming something about elephant rapists... connection maybe?) turned into one of the fish people and did less damage before dying than the recently turned baroness...

I may have to start taking a more active role in the defense of the fortress from enemies within and without. As comedic a tale as the end of a dwarfen fortress due to the inhabitants transforming into humanoid carps would be, I can feel it in my bones that this fortress has plenty of epic tales and stories yet to tell and losing it so early on would be a tragic shame.   

[Meph]

YOU NEED A TEMPLE EVERYONEWILLDIEAARGH! proclaimed Meph calmly with a low and soothing voice.

[Senshuken]

YOU NEED A TEMPLE EVERYONEWILLDIEAARGH! proclaimed Meph calmly with a low and soothing voice.

No! What we need is cooking oil. And potatoes! Lots of potatoes...

We'll turn this fortress into the stopping off place of every traveling caravan with our 'Fish and Chips'!

[Bodkin]

(From the journal of Ngalak Feastdooms, fortress record keeper.)

9th Slate

mate888 had another baby today. She certainly has been doing a lot of that. They seem to be spaced about nine months and ten minutes apart, if you know what I mean. She named this one Lor Mountainshelter, as excellent a name as I’ve ever heard for a dwarf.

And here’s something more: the moment the baby breathed its first air, he swore an oath of celibacy! How is that even possible? Did it see something on its way out of the womb that it hated?


(Journal of Fel Artificeloved, mayor)

My door has been all but blown off of its hinges lately by dwarves coming in to see me, since this latest outbreak of carp fever.

First was Meph, the old flamecrafter. He’s said to be one of the oldest and wisest dwarves in the fort, but meeting him face to face was an experience I was quite unprepared for. He shoved the door open with a great deal of force, his cloak and his white hair flying about him, his eyes so wide they all but leaped out of his skull, and shouted, “YOU NEED A TEMPLE EVERYONEWILLDIEAARGH!”

“What are you doing?” I asked him, startled.

“I’M SOOTHING YOU WITH MY LOW, CALM VOICE!” he screamed. “YEEEEIIIIIAIAIAARGH!”

“Okay! Okay! Don’t worry! I’ve already asked the metalcrafters to make candelabras for it! Please stop shouting.”

He turned and walked out without another word. I didn't even find out who he was until someone told me later.

I barely had time to wipe the sweat from my brow when Senshuken burst in. He was enormously exercised over the betrayal of Astesh, stenchfully may he rot. Senshuken is deeply concerned about this plague of carplings and wants to do more for the defense of the fortress.

I took a closer look at his file. He’s got six children, and one of them, mate888, is quite important in our society, with an influential husband and five children of her own. He’s not physically gifted for combat, nor does he want a leadership role; he used to be the sheriff, but when the office was upgraded to captain of the guard, he ceded it to Eral Moppedtrumpets. (prefers that others take leadership roles) Finally, he’s our most talented engraver by far, and it will hurt to lose him, but far be it from me to stand between a dwarf and his duty. I’ve told him to get started on the weight bench, and once he’s trained up a bit I’ll add him to The Works of Dourness, because we do need a replacement for Astesh, may Armok dance on his rotting bones.

Another odd thing in Senshuken’s file: his favorite foods include nothing. Seriously:



So I will not make him our chef, no matter how much he boasts about his secret formula for fish-n-chips.

Finally, I have issued a proclamation that the infant Shusug, who fought the baroness from within her vile grasp, shall be renamed "Carpsmasher" in honor of his courageous performance.

[mate888]

Diary of Mate the 888th
I had my third son today. As soon as she born she talked! She's gonna be 3 weeks without booze for using that foul language. I didn't raised a person who speaks like that! Even tough I never raised her either...

[Bodkin]

Big doings today! But first, here is a day in the life of a dwarven psychiatrist’s wife:



He won't talk to her, and she sleeps on the floor. A real family man, that one.

Also: my god, when did photobucket become so aggravating? Anybody care to recommend a better resource?

And now let’s get on with it.


(Journal of Fel Artificeloved, mayor)

15th Felsite

We’ve got problems. I’m only beginning to realize how the carplings have weakened our society. After one of the early attacks, Astesh (may worms feast upon his entrails) complained about the well area being smeared with blood. He claimed it was cursed, and demanded that it be dismantled. We now realize that he had an ulterior motive.

The well has indeed been dismantled in the name of our best interest, as he so patriotically insisted. But the new well isn’t yet built. And Carpsmasher, the heroic infant, is now roaming the wastes unaccompanied because he doesn't have a meeting space to feel at home in.

The old well also proved an excellent safeguard against carplings, since they were more likely to transform among a great crowd of dwarves, and so they were immediately set upon and struck down. Now we have no well. So there isn't a crowd to control carp acolytes, and the son of the baroness, beloved by the dwarves and despised by the carplings, is easy prey for snatchers. Astesh (may jackals gnaw his marrow) called the carplings stupid, but that was just another of his subtle deceptions to make us complacent against them. They have shown us that they have a great deal of influence, and they know what they’re doing. We are all afraid. A new well has been ordered; and Cptn Kaladin Anrizlokum (our best and only architect) is working on it.

…what? What’s this noise? The bridge? NO, NOT THE BRIDGE.

Oh sweet Armok, I’ve got to run …


16th Felsite

We are in the midst of our largest siege to date. We were set upon by 52 White Tigermen and eight monsters so hideous and filthy that we don’t even know how to talk about them. For now, we’re just calling them “Strong Deep Ones.”



And guess what else we’ve just discovered: Our front gate was never properly attached to a lever.



Are we doomed? I fear the worst. Well, it’s been a nice fortress. I wonder if we have an evacuation plan.


18th Felsite

Today we stare in awe at the grisly mess of limbs and corpses around our entrance. They lie two and three deep in mangled heaps. Death is everywhere.



But not a single corpse is dwarven! This is by far our greatest victory, and we will sing of it for many years to come. Our dwarves feared greatly, and on Zaneg’s orders our Deathcrafters waited inside the walls to see how the enemy would commit itself. The tigermen looked a bit aimless for a time, and looked irresolute.

But one of them was brave enough to come near enough for visual contact; the beastman flipped the middle finger to our dwarves, and then the battle was on. Our Deathcrafters charged the field, and a company of white tigermen fell upon them from the east. Wave after wave of white tigermen joined the fight. Zust Blockadedmopped immediately fled with a shattered arm; no other dwarf was visible beneath the churning storm of tiger attacks, and when the Strong Deep Ones joined the attack, I saw Zaneg herself thrown backwards against the Trade Depot, stunned. An SDO leaped upon her with its jaws frothing bile and blood, and I was unable to continue watching.

Just then the battle paused for a moment when a blood-curdling roar was heard from the east. All the fighters turned to see what could make such a noise. Astonishingly, it was Zust, charging back into the battle, her pike held high, and her shattered right arm flapping like a rag doll’s, her eyes glowing with molten death. We need an engraving of her in that moment; it could frighten the deadliest monsters.

The enemy turned to her, and indeed they did beat her savagely. But slowly, one by one, dwarven heroes began to emerge, blood-drenched, from the fray… until only dwarves remained.

Enemy casualties:
- 25 white tigermen lie dead, 6 more trapped in cages.
- 6 Strong Deep Ones were killed, and 2 trapped. These were substantially harder to kill, and their spirit never broke.

Fortress casualties:
- One war mastiff
- One plump helmet man spawn
- One hoary marmot, that was in the hell pens in hopes that it would go insane
- One boulder crab hatchling
- One broken arm and numerous minor wounds (Zust)
- One bruised thigh (Ushang Foolmirror)

Five dwarves earned nicknames, and only Zust was seriously harmed. (I wanted to list the nicknames, but their translations don’t display fully.)

To our immense relief, the infant Carpsmasher made it inside the fortress walls before the battle began.

As for that middle finger the first white tigerman flipped at us: we kept it.



 

[mate888]

Diary of Mate the 888th:
It's all interconected. I know it. All the horrors that our fortress suffered can be traced back to one single moment.
Months ago, Astesh (may kobolds defecate on his rotten face) said cave fishmen were stupid. Maybe it was a lie, to make us belive that he hated fish, and so no one would suspect his carpulization, or maybe it was the beginning of our suffering.
After his mock to the cave fishmen, the first carp-humpers appeared on our fort. Even so that Astesh himself turned into one of them. Then, the tigermen took the Deep Ones, beings half man, half fish and half frog (manfishfrog?) to attack us. All this fish releted horrors have one common origin:
Obviously a cave fishman warlock heard Astesh (may vultures snatch his cock) mocking his kind, and sent a spell that turned the most evil dwarves into those carplings. All because we pissed off the cavern folk.
There is only one solution for this problem: Kill the cave fishmen. KILL THEM ALL

[Meph]

Meph sits on his table and looks through his books. Has been doing that for a couple of days now. Grumbling into his beard... "yes, yes, I remember this... there was a record of it... ah, here it is: The Purging of Shieldfrenzy. Maybe this will convince the mayor of his errors."

[Bodkin]

As an amusement, here are Zust’s adventures in the hospital with a bunch of bungling Dr. Urists:



The Google tells me nothing about what "suppressing PHM" means. I'm guessing Date Rape Psychosis.



(events recorded by Ngalak, fortress record keeper)


12th Hematite

Another foul traitor Prat gave himself to the carp at the well today. This one badly injured a jackal, but that was the only damage done.


19th Hematite

Nail has given birth to a boy! His name is Sizir Blossomsin, but I don't understand how he got the name, because the mother gave birth while sleeping and still has not awoken. Now the baby is exploring the bedrooms on its own. He has yet to meet a conscious dwarf.



(from the journal of Fel Artificeloved, mayor)

28th Hematite

At last, after a lot of difficulty, we’ve managed to build a Temple of Armok. This will help us to get the Ward of Armok that, Meph assures us, will help us locate the carp traitors.

I called Meph into my office. He came at once, staring intensely at me as he walked in. “HAVE YOU BUILT THAT DAMN TEMPLE YET?” he yelled.

“Yes. It’s completed. But the next step is a hard one.”

“NOTHING IS EASY! YOU KNOW WHAT YOU HAVE TO DO!”

“I do. I’ve already ordered it done.”

Shouts came from outside. The military commander, Zaneg, had just transformed into a carp acolyte.

“COME WITH ME,” Meph howled, gesturing wildly. “THERE ISN’T MUCH TIME!”

We went to the temple together. “What do they do now?” I asked.

“SHUT YOUR MOUTH, YOU YOUNG GRUB,” Meph scowled. “THE LESS YOU KNOW, THE BETTER.”

I saw what he meant in a moment. As Tormentdirt, the Fearcrafter, walked into the temple. She was holding Shomad Alchemizedfences. Shomad was her only remaining son. Her elder son, Vakun Floorgreed, had already been lost to the carp god. As stood over the altar, chanting incantations. Then she set the baby Shomad down on the altar.

“Armok save us,” I murmured, my voice shaking. “Is she really doing what I think she’s doing?” Meph did not reply.

The lights in the temple grew dim, then blindingly bright. As lifted Shomad from the altar and walked out of the temple. A Ward of Armok remained where she had stood.

“Mother of Cacame,” I bellowed, trembling. “I thought she was about to sacrifice her baby!”

“The sacrifice is made,” said Meph, now considerably calmer. “Just wait.”

As As walked away from the altar, tears running down her face, her baby slowly stiffened and its skin turned crimson. “It is done,” said Meph. As wailed in despair as her baby’s lungs filled with blood. Then As’s wailing stopped. She, too, stiffened and colored, clutching Shomad to her breast. Then she toppled over. Blood flowed from every part of her and her baby. Both were dead, their hearts taken by Armok. Their faces revealed the infinite sadness of the beyond.

[Meph]

The Google tells me nothing about what "suppressing PHM" means. I'm guessing Date Rape Psychosis.

Plump Helmet Men = PHM. If this unit is near a phm, they suppress their rebellion. Its part of the phm AI.

[Bodkin]

Shit gets real.


(from the journal of Fel Artificeloved, mayor)

10th Malachite

Meph spent a great deal of time in my office with me, poring over our files and records. We had the Ward of Armok, but we still needed to find a way to bring it into contact with the cult leader. We looked at everyone who knew the recent acolytes. All were suspect. I myself was a friend of one of them, and I insisted that my own file remain among those suspected. “You’ve already been near the Ward,” Meph growled, and continued reading.

Gradually we narrowed it down. Only a small number had enough carpling contacts to be worth considering. But we still had difficulty believing what the evidence showed us … then I realized what we had to do. I told Meph my strategy. He grunted, and gave a nod.

I walked into the meeting space around the new well, carrying a rope. It was a gut rope from the tannery, made to look as bloody and intimidating as possible. The dwarves around the well gradually noticed me and fell silent. Some shifted about nervously. Everyone knew that the well had been the site of the bloodiest carpling attacks. The miasma of aftermath still choked the air.

“It’s time,” I declared, staking the rope to the floor beside the well, “to unmask the leader of the carp cult. A very brave and noble dwarf named As has made the ultimate sacrifice to Armok, along with her youngest child.” A few gasps were heard. “By what I do now, I honor her.

“Armok has given us his Ward. We know that the leader of the carp deviants has been spending time around this well. Our trainers are bringing the Ward here right now. The next time the carp leader comes near, the Ward will reveal his true identity. Then he will transform and be slaughtered, and his corpse will be thrown onto the refuse heap, there to rot forever.” The dwarves began quaking, some of them making superstitious gestures. Several of the children cried in fear, and one of them ran away, looking traumatized.


(From the journal of Eral Moppedtrumpets, captain of the guard)

I was standing by a door in the living quarters, in the place mayor Fel showed me, when a child went running past me, sobbing and frightened. I had been forewarned, and I knew what was about to happen. On any other day I might have been horrified to contemplate what was ahead of me; but today I am the last remaining member of my family, and I don’t care much about anything anymore. My wife and son were taken into the grasp of Armok today, and it was I who struck the fatal blow that killed my firstborn son, Vakun, when he gave himself to the service of the carp devil.

Today, the thought of killing a child … fills me with satisfaction.

The child was Dishmab Claspcruelties. He ran into his room, weeping and moaning -- then he saw the Ward of Armok in his room. He stopped short and became completely silent.

As he began to transform into a hideous, reeking, aquatic monster, he cried out in surprise and rage, “How did you know??”

“This is for the family you destroyed,” I answered softly, and raised my iron maul.