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Author Topic: Reclaim Awesomeness in .40.03  (Read 8379 times)

FallenAngel

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Re: Reclaim Awesomeness in .40.03
« Reply #15 on: July 18, 2014, 09:40:21 pm »

The endless question of the anvil's creation has finally been solved - dwarves create orthoclase (or similar) thrones, use them to forge proper iron/steel thrones, and use those to make iron/steel anvils.

palu

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Re: Reclaim Awesomeness in .40.03
« Reply #16 on: July 18, 2014, 10:17:36 pm »

How'd they mine the rock?
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Hmph, palu showing off that reading-the-instructions superpower.
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Aristion

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Re: Reclaim Awesomeness in .40.03
« Reply #17 on: July 18, 2014, 11:32:39 pm »

Their heads. Many dwarf heads exploded into gore durring the mining attempts.
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Panando

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Re: Reclaim Awesomeness in .40.03
« Reply #18 on: July 19, 2014, 03:56:38 am »

How'd they mine the rock?

Artifact dwarf bone pick?
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Wimopy

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Re: Reclaim Awesomeness in .40.03
« Reply #19 on: July 19, 2014, 04:00:49 am »

How'd they mine the rock?

So, the question is now "How was the first pickaxe made?"

Luckily, moods can solve this one. It implies that the first pickaxe may have been made out of wood, though. Make of that what you will.

Also, there's cave-ins and the possibility to just pick up a stone from the ground and use that during The Genesis.
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Gukag

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Re: Reclaim Awesomeness in .40.03
« Reply #20 on: July 19, 2014, 06:05:29 am »

The source of enmnity between dwarf and elf. The first desecration of nature in the service of stone and industry. You have disrespected the trees in this area. Once a beautiful tree, now the herald of the dwarven plague. Strike the earth indeed. A good metaphor for dwarven abuse of nature.
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Itnetlolor

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Re: Reclaim Awesomeness in .40.03
« Reply #21 on: July 19, 2014, 04:28:22 pm »

How'd they mine the rock?
Screaming them apart.

You gotta get the pitch and frequency right if you want to resonate them off the walls.

Behold "The Halls of Screaming", named after the method from which it was carved out. Has excellent acoustics.
« Last Edit: July 19, 2014, 04:36:12 pm by Itnetlolor »
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Bartholomew The Pious

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Re: Reclaim Awesomeness in .40.03
« Reply #22 on: July 19, 2014, 04:33:33 pm »

How'd they mine the rock?

Artifact dwarf bone pick?
Artifact dwarf baby pick. WHERE DO YOU EVEN GET ENOUGH DWARF BONE FOR A PICK? THERE ISN'T ENOUGH DWARF BONE.
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Loud Whispers

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Re: Reclaim Awesomeness in .40.03
« Reply #23 on: July 19, 2014, 08:18:59 pm »

WHERE DO YOU EVEN GET ENOUGH DWARF BONE FOR A PICK? THERE ISN'T ENOUGH DWARF BONE.
I have seen this post before. It has embedded itself subconsciously into the minds of forumites.

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WHERE DO YOU EVEN GET ENOUGH BABY FOR A PICKAXE? THERE ISN'T ENOUGH BABY.
« Last Edit: July 19, 2014, 08:21:05 pm by Loud Whispers »
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palu

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Re: Reclaim Awesomeness in .40.03
« Reply #24 on: July 19, 2014, 08:32:57 pm »

But how did they cut the wood? And what did they build the workshops out of?
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Loud Whispers

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Re: Reclaim Awesomeness in .40.03
« Reply #25 on: July 19, 2014, 08:51:14 pm »

But how did they cut the wood? And what did they build the workshops out of?
Step 1: Acquire clay by hand.
Step 2: Build craftsdwarf's workshop.
Step 3: Throw animals off of a cliff and collect the bones.
Step 4: Wait for a Dwarf to mood and create an axe.

Repeat for pickaxe.

Alev

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Re: Reclaim Awesomeness in .40.03
« Reply #26 on: July 19, 2014, 08:54:15 pm »

Don't you need an anvil in the forges to use them?
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Panando

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Re: Reclaim Awesomeness in .40.03
« Reply #27 on: July 19, 2014, 08:56:37 pm »

But how did they cut the wood? And what did they build the workshops out of?

In the beforetimes wagons roamed wild. Dwarves killed the wagons for wagon wood, which they used to build the first workshops.
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GavJ

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Re: Reclaim Awesomeness in .40.03
« Reply #28 on: July 19, 2014, 10:48:19 pm »

Yup, the FirstDwarves lived on fish and wrestled-to-death wildlife, cleaned and butchered in clay fisheries and clay butcher shops, drinking booze made from lair/cave-accessed plump helmets they cultivated and fermented in clay stills.

Until one day a dwarf struck a macabre mood and used some bones of dead animals or dwarves in a clay craftsdwarf shop to make the FirstPick

With this tool, fire-safe stones were obtained, and yet another dwarf used them as raw materials to craft some stone thrones, which were used in the FirstForges

Coal mined with the FirstPick was used to smelt iron for steel to craft the multitudes of steel thrones for the early dwarves' metal industry.



Years later, they invented slightly more convenient anvils.
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Dwarf fortress in 50 words: You start with seven alcoholic, manic-depressive dwarves. You build a fortress in the wilderness where EVERYTHING tries to kill you, including your own dwarves. Usually, your chief imports are immigrants, beer, and optimism. Your chief exports are misery, limestone violins, forest fires, elf tallow soap, and carved kitten bone.

Panando

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Re: Reclaim Awesomeness in .40.03
« Reply #29 on: July 20, 2014, 04:57:59 am »

Yup, the FirstDwarves lived on fish and wrestled-to-death wildlife, cleaned and butchered in clay fisheries and clay butcher shops, drinking booze made from lair/cave-accessed plump helmets they cultivated and fermented in clay stills.

The problem with clay is the "the first kiln" paradox. A kiln can be used to gather clay which is firesafe, but requires firesafe material to build.

1) In prehistory, dwarves gathered clay for purposes other than firing. Later, when fired clay came into fashion, dwarves forgot about the ability to gather clay without a kiln.

2) Via some convoluted route, dwarves built a craftdwarf workshop out of non-firesafe material, such as wagon wood (there is no first wagon problem, there is no known route to construct wagons hence we must conclude they are simply created by Armok as needed). Eventually an inspired dwarf made a bone pick, the bone pick was used to dig some firesafe material, and then a kiln could be built (perhaps to create potash). Having built the kiln some dwarf had the idea to gather clay and burn it in the kiln.

Personally I think scenario 2 is much more likely, as it requires 4 times as many words and invokes a creator god.
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