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Author Topic: Dwarven Child Care [Reboot] (Werezombie Cloning Tech (What in Armok's name?!))  (Read 215207 times)

Staalo

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Re: Dwarven Child Care [Reboot] (Many Innocent Deaths)
« Reply #600 on: April 05, 2015, 01:55:01 pm »

On principle I should now have a similar bacon factory as the "Ravens are murder" one but for some reason my necromancers are very reluctant to animate things I'm providing them. Adding to that the students tended to neutralize horse hairs and the like very quickly.

Eventually I got a zombie ram's head wool that's both invulnerable and completely harmless (except eventual starvation for anyone stuck beating it indefinitely) and managed to get a very fruitful lesson out of it. Results were very promising; just the first bout with it gave me a bunch of Great Fighters and Accomplished Strikers with minor gains in other skills. Even nicer, it won't twist exhausted students into pretzels like Fimshel the bronze colossus had a bad habit of doing.

I'm now sending the necros back to their cages since I can just reuse the immortal fluff ball in all future lessons.
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Dwarf4Explosives

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Re: Dwarven Child Care [Reboot] (Many Innocent Deaths)
« Reply #601 on: April 05, 2015, 04:59:20 pm »

Huh. Interesting. How are you planning to stop them from beating the wool?
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And yet another bit of proof that RNG is toying with us. We do 1984, it does animal farm
...why do your hydras have two more heads than mine? 
Does that mean male hydras... oh god dammit.

Staalo

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Re: Dwarven Child Care [Reboot] (Many Innocent Deaths)
« Reply #602 on: April 05, 2015, 05:33:54 pm »

Huh. Interesting. How are you planning to stop them from beating the wool?

I'm using the same flushdown mechanism as in Questmountain: just pull a lever and a retracting bridge drops everyone into a roomful of cage traps. Of course it will also catch those who have passed out from exhaustion but fishing them out is a small nuisance.

Everyone from the first batch is now Legendary in Fighter and Striker after only four sessions with Fluffy the Zombie Ram Head Wool. This is the best guest lecturer ever.
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TheFlame52

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Re: Dwarven Child Care [Reboot] (Many Innocent Deaths)
« Reply #603 on: April 05, 2015, 06:21:20 pm »

This is the best thread. I especially like the more nonviolent ways of training - I like my kids to have feelings, thank you.

Max™

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Re: Dwarven Child Care [Reboot] (Many Innocent Deaths)
« Reply #604 on: April 05, 2015, 06:26:59 pm »

I assume you pulled up gui/gm-editor and changed the name of the wool to Fluffy, right?
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SimRobert2001

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Re: Dwarven Child Care [Reboot] (Many Innocent Deaths)
« Reply #605 on: April 05, 2015, 07:06:18 pm »


(Beware, the site this comic is from is nsfw)
I feel like somebody should crop out the last panel of this. I can't atm, sadly.

What comic is this?
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doublestrafe

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Re: Dwarven Child Care [Reboot] (Many Innocent Deaths)
« Reply #606 on: April 05, 2015, 08:31:19 pm »

What comic is this?
Oglaf. Again, NSFW. Really NSFW.
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Max™

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Re: Dwarven Child Care [Reboot] (Many Innocent Deaths)
« Reply #607 on: April 05, 2015, 08:54:00 pm »

Mostly nsfw, sometimes not, the archive specifies which are which, great comic.
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Staalo

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Re: Dwarven Child Care [Reboot] (Many Innocent Deaths)
« Reply #608 on: April 06, 2015, 04:08:51 am »

I assume you pulled up gui/gm-editor and changed the name of the wool to Fluffy, right?

Er... I did now.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

---

I'm noticing a curious thing... In each lecture with Fluffy there's one or two students having a sudden attack of cowardice: instead of joining the dwarfpile pounding on the animated piece of wool they run around shouting "I must withdraw!"

Of course that's not new; the same thing was happening in Questmountain with Fimshel the bronze colossus. What's different this time is that they're never the same students; last session's coward could well be the most vigorous wool pounder in the next one. Maybe there's simply not enough room for everyone.
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Max™

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Re: Dwarven Child Care [Reboot] (Many Innocent Deaths)
« Reply #609 on: April 06, 2015, 04:16:22 am »

Good man, truly you are an hero.

Though I'm still uncomfortable with the use of the phrase "vigorous wool pounder"... probably due to my Scottish ancestry.
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Staalo

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Re: Dwarven Child Care [Reboot] (Many Innocent Deaths)
« Reply #610 on: April 06, 2015, 01:37:24 pm »

Though I'm still uncomfortable with the use of the phrase "vigorous wool pounder"...

I know, I know... but after I had typed those words they simply refused to be deleted. It is actually very descriptive for the situation; eighteen adolescent dwarves standing in a ring, furiously mashing a small sweat-drenched piece of sheep wool with their hairy fists. I'm surprised it hasn't turned into felt by now.

Some of the children were getting Stressed from constant exposure to undead horrors (yes, that means you, Fluffy. Sorry.) so I assigned them to other training and decided to up the challenge for the remaining students. In quick succession I dropped in an undead guinea hen, a rotten turkey and a giant rat head; all were re-killed almost before they hit the floor. After this I threw in a giantess and a cyclops I had lying around but they didn't fare any better. Encouraged by this I decided to try out a captured zombie elf axewoman I had been sparing for this occasion.

That didn't go down well with the students. Everyone simply panicked and started running madly around while the zombie shambled after them making ineffectual lunges to anyone getting too close. It managed to knock out some teeth from one dwarf and ruptured another one's liver before I hit the flushdown lever. Luckily dwarves don't actually need those parts for anything important.

Looks like the students will have to build up some Discipline before facing actual whole formerly-sentient undead again.
« Last Edit: April 06, 2015, 01:47:28 pm by Staalo »
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Max™

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Re: Dwarven Child Care [Reboot] (Many Innocent Deaths)
« Reply #611 on: April 06, 2015, 03:23:30 pm »

They probably did kill it before it hit the ground.

In adventurer mode my faster allies will often run alongside things I've sent flying, punching and hacking and kicking them while they sail through the air with all the grace of a bowling ball.

I'm... less comfortable after your description of the wool pounding btw.
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Staalo

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Re: Dwarven Child Care [Reboot] (Many Innocent Deaths)
« Reply #612 on: April 07, 2015, 08:02:03 am »

I'm... less comfortable after your description of the wool pounding btw.

Ah, my work here is done, then!

--

I had a slight distraction when I saw this comment in the "Whats going on in your fort" -thread:

http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=15096.msg6147334#msg6147334

Having read that I had to experiment if Swimming and Observation could be trained right from the birth. Well, short answer: they can't. Some observations:

- assigning a bed to a baby causes it's mother simply to drop it where she stands. This requires some planning.
- mother will pick up the baby and carry it to safety when the area is flooded. In one occasion the baby even seemed to teleport straight away to it's mother.
- looks like babies can't learn skills anyway. So much for that.

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Kasmko Taldequihu, Human Criminal corrupted zombie is visiting.
Mong Todsporro, Human Criminal death zombie is visiting.

Uhhh... welcome?

Dwarf4Explosives

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Re: Dwarven Child Care [Reboot] (Many Innocent Deaths)
« Reply #613 on: April 07, 2015, 09:09:20 am »

Conclusion: baby dwarves are, like all dwarves, idiots. They just can't do all that much stupid stuff yet and focus their stupidity into a lack of skill-learning.
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And yet another bit of proof that RNG is toying with us. We do 1984, it does animal farm
...why do your hydras have two more heads than mine? 
Does that mean male hydras... oh god dammit.

Max™

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Re: Dwarven Child Care [Reboot] (Many Innocent Deaths)
« Reply #614 on: April 07, 2015, 03:19:30 pm »

Was discussing this with the gf last night (she loves to talk about dem dorfs and don't even play, I know, I'm a lucky guy) and decided newborn dorfs are like marsupial offspring, blind, lacking rear legs, they simply cling on to their mothers beard and sip at the booze soaked into it until their legs develop and they can drop to the ground, run off into the bushes, and feed.
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