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[Beirus]

Down to the next catwalk. Attempt to bypass the Teflon Slug by moving along and holding the rails of the catwalk. Or kill it with my Trained Attack Nautilus and my Guardian.

[Harry Baldman]

Stick my hand out, then put the lizard in the gaping hole in the goop man

[Lizard vs. Tall Goop Man: 5+1 vs. 1-->2-1]

You pull your hand out of the bowelless abdomen of the tall goop man and stick your lizard in the hole that's been formed without letting go - instantly it begins to tear out chunks of the goop man's body, gorging itself on the apparently delicious gray goop the man appears to have. One token flies out as it tears at the man, then another, and the goop man proceeds to melt into a pile of shapeless goo, two tokens lying on the ground next to it. Without delay, you seize them both!

Current tokens of gray: 4!
Affluence rating: amateur slayer!

Stargazer heads directly through the green gate.

You find yourself in the Conduit of the Skies, where forward is up and backward is down!

"HEAR THE WORDS OF RADIX THE OMNISCIENT! BE WELCOME TO THE CONDUIT OF THE SKIES! UPWARD LIE THE UNHOLY CHAMBERS OF SATIATION! AND BELOW IS THE FESTERING PIT OF SIN! ON THE OPPOSITE SIDE OF THE CONDUIT LIES THE PATH TO THE PARADISE OF FLESHY PLEASURES! AND FOLLOWING YOU IS THE ANGEL OF IMPREGNABILITY, READY TO POSSIBLY REWARD YOU IF YOU ANSWER A QUESTION WITH MORE THAN A SLIGHT HINT OF TRUTH!"

"THE QUESTION IS, WHAT DOES THE MPD PORTEND?"

The Angel of Impregnability eyes you with its two rings of eyes impatiently. It seems to really want an answer of some kind.

Down to the next catwalk. Attempt to bypass the Teflon Slug by moving along and holding the rails of the catwalk. Or kill it with my Trained Attack Nautilus and my Guardian.

You pass the spontaneously combusting Starn Gundar down to the layer of the Teflon Slug, cursing the lack of rails on the catwalks as you ponder how best not to slip and fall to your doom. The Teflon Slug does not seem to mind you at all, merely choosing to attend to its task of rendering the surface of the catwalk as inhospitably slippery as possible.

[Your footwork roll: 5]

Fortunately, once you start paying attention to the surface of the catwalk, it is easy to avoid the slippery bits - and with confident, downward-pointed steps with no horizontal element on the descent, even the slippery parts are no object. You get to the staircase leading to the lowest level with no trouble at all, Nberi and TANDI in tow, but pause as you consider the Dreaded Smile. It will try to bounce into you. And you know for a FACT that you do not want to fall into the Festering Pits of Sin.

[Beirus]

Try to sneak past the Dreaded Smile. Should that fail, kill it! Kill it with TANDI and Nberi.

[TamerVirus]

What are my options here for killing?

[Harry Baldman]

What are my options here for killing?

A giant twice your height accompanied by two humanoids about a foot or two shorter than you, one group of two you-sized people, and the other four regular-sized ones seem to have climbed a particular bowl of goop, sitting on its edge and watching the rest of the area.

[TamerVirus]

Fling lizard at the group of two(my size) and go perform a righteous uppercut on the one the lizard doesn't attack

[Nunzillor]

Stargazer paused in thought, a frown beginning to form on her face.  After a few minutes, she confided to the angel her grim prediction.  "Well, my DEAR angel, the answer is MORE COMPLEX than it may SEEM!  It is TRUE that in the short term, the MPD will portend a RENAISSANCE for humanity, who will begin to colonize the STARS.  BUT in the long term it will bring only RUIN and DEATH!

You see, the WONDER of the MPD will lead to the militarization of PETA and other animal advocates who will enlist the aid of sympathetic nations to ABOLISH the device!  A great WAR will break out between the nations of the world, some throwing their might behind the PETA Coalition, and others uniting behind the marvel of the MPD Task Force.  After several DECADES and hundreds or thousands of MPD-propelled nuclear weapons, the Great War of The Buttered Toast-Cat will end with no clear victor and only a few haggard survivors left to pick up the pieces!  As a result, Earth will be left in a TRIBAL state, worshipping the few MPD that remain, and only a few colonized worlds will still thrive technologically!"

Suddenly, Stargazer fell to her knees.  That is why I must BEG you, O GREAT and MERCIFUL RADIX, Keeper of the Future-Sacred Future-Damning MPD, to keep the MPD a secret for ALL TIME!  It may lead to the SPIRITUAL enhancement of humanity through MPD-worship, and it may cause some interstellar expansion, but it will come at a TERRIBLE PRICE"

Whether Stargazer receives a boon or not, she gets to her feet and bows low to the angel.  She then heads to the wonders that lie within the Chambers of Satiation to get her mind off the terrible truth.

[Harry Baldman]

Try to sneak past the Dreaded Smile. Should that fail, kill it! Kill it with TANDI and Nberi.

[Your stealth roll: 1-->3]

You take a step on the lower floor. The Dreaded Smile turns to face you. It smiles obliviously at you. You are its new best friend.

[Initiative! You: 1-->4, Dreaded Smile: 4]
[Dreaded Smile vs. You: 3+1 vs. 1-->2]
[Nberi's endurance roll: 2]

The Dreaded Smile immediately bounces toward you sharply, and you stare dumbly, unaware of any FACTS that would help you dodge it, when Nberi pushes you out of the way to absorb the Dreaded Smile's hit personally, as her Transgalactic Physical Guardian Group contract dictates - the Dreaded Smile hits her and she bounces away, landing at the edge of the catwalk, nearly rolling off before she grabs on to the edge.

[Nberi's strength roll: 2]

She appears to be losing her grip on the edge slowly. And the Dreaded Smile looks at you, smiling as you are forced to make the choice between safeguarding your guardian and destroying this affront to common decency you see before you.

Fling lizard at the group of two(my size) and go perform a righteous uppercut on the one the lizard doesn't attack

You move toward the two goop men, and without provocation hurl your lizard at one of them!

[Your accuracy roll: 3]

You manage to wing one of the unsuspecting gray humanoids with the lizard, and it immediately goes to town on them!

[Lizard vs. Goop Man 1: 1-->3+1, 4]

That is, until the goop man swats it away - regardless, you charge to perform a righteous uppercut on the other one!

[Initiative! You: 3+1, Goop Man 2: 1-->2]
[Righteous Uppercut! You vs. Goop Man 2: 6-->4 vs. 3]

You charge at the other goop humanoid, driving your fist upward into its chin, punting the token of gray enclosed within its head upward! Instantly, the top half of the goop humanoid loses cohesion, and as you catch the token, you notice the other goop man charging at you!

[Goop Man 1 vs. You: 2 vs. 3+1]

The man aims a punch at you, and you step slightly to the right, causing his fist to glance off you, leaving a slightly damp grayish spot on your shoulder. You wipe it off immediately, hoping it won't stain as you consider the lower torso and legs of the goop humanoid next to you.

Stargazer thought briefly, and as she thought she began to frown.  After a few minutes, she confided to the angel her grim prediction.  "Well, my DEAR angel, the answer is MORE COMPLEX than it may SEEM!  It is TRUE that in the short term, the MPD will portend a RENAISSANCE for humanity, who will begin to colonize the STARS.  BUT in the long term it will bring only RUIN and DEATH!

You see, it will lead to the militarization of PETA and other animal advocates who will enlist the aid of sympathetic nations to ABOLISH the MPD!  A great WAR will break out between the nations of the world, some throwing their alliegance behind the PETA Coalition, and others uniting behind the marvel of the MPD Task Force.  After several DECADES and hundreds or thousands of MPD-propelled nuclear weapons, the Great War of The Buttered Cat will end with no clear victor, and only a few haggard survivors will be left to pick up the pieces!  As a result, Earth will be left in a TRIBAL state, worshipping the few MPD that remain, and only a few colonized worlds will still thrive technologically!"

Suddenly, Stargazer fell to her knees.  That is why I must BEG you, O GREAT and MERCIFUL RADIX, to keep the MPD a secret for ALL TIME!  It may lead to the SPIRITUAL enhancement of humanity through MPD-worship, and it may cause some interstellar expansion, but it will come at a TERRIBLE PRICE"

"INFORMATIVE AS ALWAYS! YOU GET A REWARD!" 

The Angel of Impregnability looks at you, and suddenly a tendril extends from it, stabbing forth and, before you have a chance to dodge it, stabbing in between your armor plates. You suddenly lose your breath and go very pale as the tendril explores the inside of your chest, cutting and exploring as your entire brain seizes up from the sudden violation. You notice the tendril enlarge, a set of bumps traveling down it into your chest, pulsing painfully and pressing against your lungs strangely. And then, just as suddenly, the tendril withdraws, holding your heart, still beating a few times before stopping.

Oddly, you're not dead. Though you don't seem to have a heartbeat anymore, you're still breathing. You're not even bleeding, you'd say. And while you're wondering what that's about, the Angel of Impregnability returns your heart in a glass jar, marinading in a transparent liquid of some kind.

[Nunzillor]

"THANK YOU wondrous ANGEL!  The removal of my heart can ONLY INCREASE my dedication to the pursuits of THE MIND! 
...
Let us never speak of the manner in which you did that."

Stargazer sniffed the liquid experimentally and gently poked her heart.  She also licked her heart, just so she could say that she had done so.  She then stored the jar on her person and headed to the undoubtedly charming Festering Pit of Sin.

[TamerVirus]

Punt the attacking goop man in the crotch area

[Salsacookies]

Wake up from my rest, and figure out what is going on right now

[Nunzillor]

Wake up from my rest, and figure out what is going on right now

((You may be able to ask ShTAN!  Remember him?))

[Salsacookies]

(Yeah, I do, just acting like I just got up from a deep rest, and my guy probably wouldn't try to talk to him anyway. Thank you though.)

[Beirus]

((Harry, why does RNGesus hate me?))

Save Nberi! And then maybe sic the TANDI on the Dreaded Smile.

[Harry Baldman]

"THANK YOU wondrous ANGEL!  The removal of my heart can ONLY INCREASE my dedication to the pursuits of THE MIND! 
...
Let us never speak of the manner in which you did that."

Stargazer sniffed the liquid experimentally and gently poked her heart.  She also licked her heart, just so she could say that she had done so.  She then stored the jar on her person and headed to the undoubtedly charming Festering Pit of Sin.

The liquid smells like 96% ethanol! And, as you discover when you lick your heart, it tastes almost suspiciously like 96% ethanol as well! You decide that this is okay, and head off to the Festering Pit of Sin, where you find yourself atop three layers of catwalks, the topmost containing, in addition to you, a Redshirt seizing on the ground, seemingly overcome by the holy vision that is the sudden combustion of a certain Starn Gundar next to him, the second level contains a metallic slug thing just sliding around and minding its own business, and the lowermost having on it a man with a herniated brain trying to save his best friend from falling into the roiling black pits of sin below while a shiny yellow fun ball tries to knock him off in a rather permanent fashion.

Punt the attacking goop man in the crotch area

[You vs. Goop Man 1: 1-->1 vs. 1-->5]
[Counterattack: You vs. Yourself: 1-->3 vs. 1-->6+1]

Your attempted kick misses rather terribly! In fact, you raise your foot high enough to kick yourself in the face, and even manage to miss that, toppling to the ground rather comically.

[Lizard vs. Goop Man 1: 3 vs. 6-->5]

And then, as the lizard attempts to bite the goop man, he instead grabs it by the tail and swings it at you!

[Goop Man 1 vs. You: 4 vs. 6-->4+1]

The lizard, however, slips right out of his hands, landing on the ground rather enraged in the process.

[Goop Man 2's morale roll: 4]
[Goop Man 2 vs. You: 3-1 vs. 5+1]
[Counter: You vs. Goop Man: 6-->3 vs. 3]

The other goop man, the one you removed the torso of, tries to kick you in the back while you recover! You reply by plunging your hands into his body, tearing out a token from his abdomen, at which point the goop man loses cohesion entirely!

Current tokens of gray: 5!
Affluence rating: freelance pugilist!

Wake up from my rest, and figure out what is going on right now

You are outside the ziggurat of the Forbidden Hermitage. ShTAN appears to be minding his own business, not blocking your way out anymore. Aside from that, you have absolutely no clue about anything. Stargazer's gone, you notice.

You may skip ahead to either the Festering Pits of Sin or the Unholy Chambers of Satiation if you want.

((Harry, why does RNGesus hate me?))

Save Nberi! And then maybe sic the TANDI on the Dreaded Smile.

You rush over to Nberi to help her up from the edge!

[Your strength roll: 2+1]
[Nberi's strength roll: 4]

You, much to your dismay, are unable to save Nberi on your own, but the boost you give her is enough to let her climb back up and be your guardian once more.

[Dreaded Smile vs. You: 6-->4+1 vs. 3]
[Nberi's endurance roll: 4]

The Dreaded Smile pounces on you once more, and Nberi pushes you out of the way once more - this time, the Dreaded Smile hits her, but she stands her ground, getting pushed to the edge as she plants her feet on the ground, but not falling off just yet. This gives you just the opening you need! You lift up TANDI and point it at the Dreaded Smile!

[TANDI vs. Dreaded Smile: 4+1 vs. 5]

The hooked, barbed tentacles of the TANDI launch themselves forward, but too late to catch the Dreaded Smile in its retreat as it winds up for another charge!

[Dreaded Smile vs. You: 5+1 vs. 2]
[Nberi's endurance roll: 5]

It would have punted you clear off the catwalk, you believe, if you had not been saved by Nberi's timely intercept, during which she redirects the Smile away from you with a kick!