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[TamerVirus]

Go forward 2 years and kidnap Einstein, replacing him with a volleyball wearing a wacky wig

[Lyeos]

Steal the best pancakes to ever be made - and EAT them.

[Beirus]

Tame the wild time machine as if it were a horse.

[Worldmaster27]

Remove this game from the timeline

[Sergarr]

Look for a door. Determine how big room is.

[5] You've located the door! It's in the north wall. The room's dimensions are 10x10x10 yards.

HELP COMMUNISM WIN COLD WAR

[3] You help them. The effects sadly seem to be negligible.

smash fist against time machine's control panel

[3] A smashed control panel: acquired!

Break out using tactical hitler.

[5] You've successfully used the tactical hitler on the box! Unfortunately, it seems to be impervious to tactical hitlers. Humanity of 52014 has some really advanced materials, it seems. You'd need to find another age, more receptive to time travelers.

inject 3 whole marijuanas into the bloodstream of the first goat to ever b

[5] You go back in time approximately 10 000 years and do that. The goat promptly flips it's shit and fall from the mountain, killing it. Do you feel like a hero yet?

Go forward 2 years and kidnap Einstein, replacing him with a volleyball wearing a wacky wig

[4] You try to do that, but you discover that the Einstein is guarded by time police.
[6] You replace the entire time police with volleyballs, kidnapping Einstein in the process. Unfortunately, it means that in the future, time travel will never be discovered. Also, now you have a time police car on your tail.

Steal the best pancakes to ever be made - and EAT them.

[5] Apparently these pancakes have some... substances in them.
[1] You lose your mind from eating the best pancakes ever.

Tame the wild time machine as if it were a horse.

[5] You're now riding on top of the time machine. You feel very silly.

Remove this game from the timeline

[6] Welp.

...

The timeline is now experiencing technical difficulties due to meta-game paradoxes.

[Xantalos]

Exit room. Obtain large amounts of piping instantly since time doesn't exist here anymore.

[poketwo]

TIME TRAVEL 30,000 YEARS INTO THE FUTURE TO GET TECHNOLOGY FOR COMMUNISM

[Lyeos]

Look for my mind - is it under my bed?

[IcyTea31]

Call the Guardians of Forever and ask them to fix the timeline and preferably stop it from being messed again. Put their number on speed dial if I haven't already.

[LordSlowpoke]

retcon out the guardians

[Worldmaster27]

Take advantage of the confusion caused by the meta-game paradoxes to steal some time nukes.

[Sergarr]

Exit room. Obtain large amounts of piping instantly since time doesn't exist here anymore.

[2] You cannot exit the room because your future self blocks the door.

TIME TRAVEL 30,000 YEARS INTO THE FUTURE TO GET TECHNOLOGY FOR COMMUNISM

[3] The pieces on technology you manage to steal are incomprehensible to your. Also, they don't seem to work outside their natural environment.

Look for my mind - is it under my bed?

[6] Yes. Yes it is.
New item acquired - your mind! Don't lose it again.

Call the Guardians of Forever and ask them to fix the timeline and preferably stop it from being messed again. Put their number on speed dial if I haven't already.

[2] It appears that your time period has not yet developed the technology of time phone calls. Whoops.

retcon out the guardians

[4] You do that. They create an ontological paradox and continue to exist.

Take advantage of the confusion caused by the meta-game paradoxes to steal some time nukes.

[6] You steal ALL the time nukes. Including those who were 0.0001 seconds away from exploding.

You die in all point of your life simultaneously. The timeline now experiences serious technical difficulties. Respawn?

[LordSlowpoke]

retcon out the concept of a paradox

[Lyeos]

Use my mind as duct tape to "fix" the timeline.

[Xantalos]

Yo future self, get out ma way. I'm enacting our evil plan.