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[klefenz]

Wrestler: Hello [my name], lets not hurt anybody
Me: It is good to see you. Long live the cause!
Wrestler: Murderer!

One of the guards from my palace a couple days after I took over. At least this time he didnt spit.

[ShoesandHats]

[Enemy post]

You must yield!
You first coward! (sprints into the sunset)

[Arcvasti]

PTW

[Azrayel]

PTW; too goot.

[Cptn Kaladin Anrizlokum]

My buddy the dwarven paladin. "Let's not hurt anyone" - immediately crushes a guy's skull, then lays over the body for five real time minutes. I can only assume he was praying for them.

[TheCritsyBear]

So there I was, travelling to a nearby trade hub to buy myself a backpack, as wanderers apparently set out to adventure completely naked with nothing but a knife and a pointy stick.

But then, suddenly, on the road, I was "Ambush!"ed. I looked around... Nobody. Then a gray L appeared out of thin air, and proceeded to meander around, completely docile.

"Greetings, I am Human McWanderer."
No response.
*Generic Weather comment.*
No response.
"Why are you travelling?"
I then looked at him as he continued to refuse to make small talk with me... It turns out he was a "Giant Lion Recruit."
"Is something troubling you?" I asked the lion.
Then he started walking away, and as soon as I took a step to follow him, the DF died.

[Awessum Possum]

Please note that the goblin and axedwarf are my companions, who were friendly when I recruited them.

The goblin axeman slashes the kea in the right foot with his +bronze halberd+ and the part explodes into gore!
The kea is propelled away by the force of the blow!
Urist McPsycho 1: This is my fight too!
1: I cannot stand idly by!
The kea looks sick
1: I shall take revenge!
the axedwarf strikes at the goblin axeman but the shot is blocked!
The goblin axeman strikes the axedwarf in the right upper leg, tearing the fat!
The axedwarf punches you but misses

The goblin proceeded to kill the dwarf and exult in his victory, meanwhile my adventurer started crying.

[XArgon]

Ooh, my... 40.01 is such wonderful comedy fuel.

Also,

"That is an excellent question, Ugo, I thought you would never ask. It's time I told you about the night horrors that plague this land."

great story, Kamamura!

Other than that... greeting someone, just to take a crossbow bolt in the face instead of a response? Yep, been there. (it is terrifying).

PS: Also, "It is terrifying" should definitely be the unofficial name of 40.01. Not as contempt, no - it's just too hilarious how memetic this phrase is.

[monk12]

It was inevitable.

[TheCoolSideofthePIllow]

This kid...

Code: [Select]

You: How have things been?
Tirin Sporrorith, Spearman: I hear that there is an insurrection against The Council of Owners in Lyricfin.
You: This must be stopped by any means at our disposal.
You: Tell me about the local ruler.
Tirin Sporrorith, Spearman: The Council of Owners rules Lyricfin.  Lurit Bedstuck the Mellow Cavern of Pastimes is lord.  I don't know anything else about them.
You: Does anybody else still have a stake in these lands?
Tirin Sporrorith, Spearman: There are no fewer than eleven other groups vying for control.
Beso Otngelide, Child: Hello Lurit.  Let's not hurt anybody.
You: Hello.  It is good to see you.  This servant of Tura Primereins greets you.
The Child spits!
The flying Beso Yawnedsounds's human spit misses You!
Beso Otngelide, Child: Murderer!
Beso Otngelide, Child (to Tirin Sporrorith, Spearman): Hello Tirin.
Tirin Sporrorith, Spearman (to Beso Otngelide, Child): Hey.  It is good to see you.
Beso Otngelide, Child (to Tirin Sporrorith, Spearman): I hear that there is an insurrection against The Council of Owners in Lyricfin.
Tirin Sporrorith, Spearman (to Beso Otngelide, Child): It was inevitable.

(BTW: *I* am Lurit Bedstuck, and this kid watched me murder his whole family right in front of him. I tried to kidnap him, but he won't join me and I don't know if I can grab him by the wrist and just.... take him.)

[Archereon]

I assume he's the son/daughter of the rightful Lord/Lady of Lyricfin. If you're stealthy, you could potentially break one of his/her bones with wrestling, resulting in the kid passing out, then repeatedly throw him until the heir is in an isolated area. You should then do science on whether torturing people to get them to submit to your orders (in this case, presumably being installed as a figurehead while you go off and conquer other sites) works.

[Dante]

It was inevitable that I would PTW.

[Archereon]

It IS inevitable that overusing this meme will turn it into "Arrow to the Knee": Dwarf Fortress Edition. That's what part of me thinks. The other part of me hopes that when gods of fate release demons from hell for reasons generally along the lines of "it was written", that there will eventually be multiple possible lines to describe the reasoning, one of which will be "because it was inevitable."

[klefenz]

This kid...

Code: [Select]

You: How have things been?
Tirin Sporrorith, Spearman: I hear that there is an insurrection against The Council of Owners in Lyricfin.
You: This must be stopped by any means at our disposal.
You: Tell me about the local ruler.
Tirin Sporrorith, Spearman: The Council of Owners rules Lyricfin.  Lurit Bedstuck the Mellow Cavern of Pastimes is lord.  I don't know anything else about them.
You: Does anybody else still have a stake in these lands?
Tirin Sporrorith, Spearman: There are no fewer than eleven other groups vying for control.
Beso Otngelide, Child: Hello Lurit.  Let's not hurt anybody.
You: Hello.  It is good to see you.  This servant of Tura Primereins greets you.
The Child spits!
The flying Beso Yawnedsounds's human spit misses You!
Beso Otngelide, Child: Murderer!
Beso Otngelide, Child (to Tirin Sporrorith, Spearman): Hello Tirin.
Tirin Sporrorith, Spearman (to Beso Otngelide, Child): Hey.  It is good to see you.
Beso Otngelide, Child (to Tirin Sporrorith, Spearman): I hear that there is an insurrection against The Council of Owners in Lyricfin.
Tirin Sporrorith, Spearman (to Beso Otngelide, Child): It was inevitable.

(BTW: *I* am Lurit Bedstuck, and this kid watched me murder his whole family right in front of him. I tried to kidnap him, but he won't join me and I don't know if I can grab him by the wrist and just.... take him.)

When I read "Council of Owners" I thought it was too good for the RNG.