>Take a shit.
[6] You take a shit so large, that it propels you high into the clouds. You come to rest upon a cloud, and see an angel standing in front of you with a harp...and a drawn sword.
STEAL FROM PICNIC BASKETS AND WEAR A TIE
[5] You put on your tie, and sneak up upon a group of two lovers on a picnic. You roar a mighty roar, and they run away. You spend hours consuming the delicious food that these people had to offer.
Become Russian boxer "Fighting Bear"
[6] You run up to a group of people and punch one of them in the face with your boxing gloves. That one drops to the ground, while the other two draw pistols and begin to aim them at you.
EAT SOME FUCKING HUMAN LEGS.
[5] You approach an innocent human walking down the road, and run out to maul him. He tries to run, but you tear him down and bash his skull in. You then remove his legs and begin to eat them.
Punch a bee hive.
[4] You run up and punch a hive of happy bees, and it drops to the ground. As expected, the bees come forth and begin to sting and surround you.
Roll some stones for tasty ants or squirrel hoard.
[1] You roll over a stone, but don't find any ants or squirrels. You find a god damn badger! It latches onto your face and begins to rip your head apart. You begin to bleed heavily. (3 turns until bleed out)
Locate a night club.
[1] You approach a night club on the outskirts of the city, but are spotted by the bouncer. He calls forth the rest of the security department, and they run out to fight you! Before you know it, you're on the ground being kicked by a bunch of thugs/bouncers.
Be Agent Bear09.
[4] You put on your tuxedo and draw your silenced PPK, and strike a cool pose.
Locate Canadian Mountie and go on adventures. Name self Mr. Truffles
[6] Mr. Truffles scours the countryside to find a Canadian Mountie, and a Canadian Mountie he finds! Unfortunately, the Mountie isn't a nice one. He sees Mr. Truffles and shoots at him! Luckily, the shot misses.
Author
Topic: Roll to Bear (Read 1702 times)