Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[Reelya]

The last guy was especially a dumbass. He only got offered about $US14,000 to do the hit, then went to the intended victim and probably offered to split the money with him. $7000 each. A whopping $7000 to fake your own death.

After the fake death, the hitman would disappear with his $7000 but what did he expect the intended victim to do? That hitman was in fact his only clue as to who was trying to kill him.

[Kagus]

The last guy was especially a dumbass. He only got offered about $US14,000 to do the hit, then went to the intended victim and probably offered to split the money with him. $7000 each. A whopping $7000 to fake your own death.

After the fake death, the hitman would disappear with his $7000 but what did he expect the intended victim to do? That hitman was in fact his only clue as to who was trying to kill him.

Simple: Offer $3500 to someone to track the hitman down and beat the information out of him.

[TD1]

The last guy was especially a dumbass. He only got offered about $US14,000 to do the hit, then went to the intended victim and probably offered to split the money with him. $7000 each. A whopping $7000 to fake your own death.

After the fake death, the hitman would disappear with his $7000 but what did he expect the intended victim to do? That hitman was in fact his only clue as to who was trying to kill him.

Simple: Offer $3500 to someone to track the hitman down and beat the information out of him.

Who would then subcontract it to someone else....

[Iduno]

The last guy was especially a dumbass. He only got offered about $US14,000 to do the hit, then went to the intended victim and probably offered to split the money with him. $7000 each. A whopping $7000 to fake your own death.

After the fake death, the hitman would disappear with his $7000 but what did he expect the intended victim to do? That hitman was in fact his only clue as to who was trying to kill him.

Simple: Offer $3500 to someone to track the hitman down and beat the information out of him.

Odds are, whoever you picked was one of the people who was hired to kill him.

[Teneb]

The last guy was especially a dumbass. He only got offered about $US14,000 to do the hit, then went to the intended victim and probably offered to split the money with him. $7000 each. A whopping $7000 to fake your own death.

After the fake death, the hitman would disappear with his $7000 but what did he expect the intended victim to do? That hitman was in fact his only clue as to who was trying to kill him.

Simple: Offer $3500 to someone to track the hitman down and beat the information out of him.

Who would then subcontract it to someone else....

Ah yes, the legendary trickle-down...

[Yoink]

Y'know, at first I just laughed at the ridiculousness of it, with the progressively smaller payments and the guy at the end offering such a pittance if the target agreed to fake their own death, but then it occurred to me... what if it's a matter of vast economical differences? (Probably not the right word but my brain ain't working good, I'm distractingly hungry)

I don't know what economic class the average hitman in China belongs to, but all of these dudes were probably agreeing to do the job for what seemed to them like a lot of money - even the last dude, maybe he was seriously dirt-poor and overestimated his bargaining chip.
Then again, maybe he was just relying on his victim to be sufficiently frightened to learn that he had hired "killers" out for his blood...

[Iduno]

I'm watching the new season of Black Mirror, because I've run out of other stuff to watch.

I just got to the best line in any TV show.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

"I fucked a polar bear, and I still couldn't get you out of my mind."

[TamerVirus]

Fallout 76 continues to fail in increasingly stupid ways as they unveiled some 'premium' service that's bugged to high hell. Meanwhile, nobody at Bethesda bothered to register the domain name for their service, so some disgruntled gamer did instead just to shit all over them.

"Fallout FUCK YOU 1st also includes a host of pointless items and cult bonuses, all of which you can find on my foreskin. And the best part? Fallout FUCK YOU 1st is available to screw you right now."

[Iduno]

Also, if nobody else is going to get around to posting it, I will:

The best legal deposition of all time.

[TamerVirus]

Also, if nobody else is going to get around to posting it, I will:

The best legal deposition of all time.

This definitely reminds me of this:
"When you say "photocopying machine," what do you mean?"

+ Dramatisation

[Iduno]

I just saw the Hellraiser quote misspelled as "We have such sites to show you." I'm just imagining Pinhead tormenting people with shock websites.

[scriver]

He actually just shows them the photos of his travels to Algarve, Mallorca, and Canberra in the fifties

[Reelya]

Haha, i just came across an online comment claiming that China makes "fake eggs". As in, they had a production process for creating artificial, uncooked eggs which are cheaper than real ones laid by chickens.

Naturally, googling the story reverals it was just a hoax. Can you imagine if you had a production process to create artificial replicas of chicken eggs? There's no way in hell that would end up cheaper than a chicken just pooping them out. There's no end to the ridiculous stuff some people will believe without checking it out.

[Arx]

1) Take balloon
2) Inject with synthetic albumen
3) Inject with synthetic yolk
4) Dip in cement
5) ???
6) Profit

[Dunamisdeos]

I just saw the Hellraiser quote misspelled as "We have such sites to show you." I'm just imagining Pinhead tormenting people with shock websites.

I thought sites as in "LET ME SHOW YOU THE SITE: BOATMURDERED" etc.