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[Reelya]

Say it ain't so, parody website posted in the laugh thread? no!

[Bumber]

I spent forever setting up the entrance to my fort. Traps, spikes, soldier stations, ballistae behind fortifications. The works. Except, I placed the ballista backwards.

As I type this my siege engineers are decimating the tavern population.

[Eschar]

I spent forever setting up the entrance to my fort. Traps, spikes, soldier stations, ballistae behind fortifications. The works. Except, I placed the ballista backwards.

As I type this my siege engineers are decimating the tavern population.

Two words: free armor.

[Max™]

Missus was telling me about a friend of hers who had an illegal immigrant boyfriend for a little while, but I interrupted her story because I couldn't stop laughing when I realized she hadn't said "illegal immigrant"...

...she said "illegal mexican" without noticing.

'Yo homes, I'm so illegal I'm not even allowed in Mexico!'

[TD1]

I head butted my desk chair trying to remove my shoes.

That was this morning. Tonight, I can say "what a way to get a black eye."

[Hanslanda]

I kinda laughed when I took off my shoe just now. I ran my foot over with a pallet jack wheel while a 1 ton load was on it, and my toe is just a little red and puffy.

Stronkest toe says, "1+ ton? You mean a warm-up rep?"

[MrRoboto75]

what.

[Egan_BW]

I kinda laughed when I took off my shoe just now. I ran my foot over with a pallet jack wheel while a 1 ton load was on it, and my toe is just a little red and puffy.

Stronkest toe says, "1+ ton? You mean a warm-up rep?"

Hans: the man of adamantine.

[TD1]

Hans: Overcomes 1+ tons.
Th4DwArfY1: Overcome by deskchair

[Max™]

I kinda laughed when I took off my shoe just now. I ran my foot over with a pallet jack wheel while a 1 ton load was on it, and my toe is just a little red and puffy.

Stronkest toe says, "1+ ton? You mean a warm-up rep?"

My fingers are getting like that on my left hand, I swear all the nicks and scrapes with chisels and saws are vaccinating me against steel somehow. I'll hit a knot or something and the blade pops out and I distinctly feel it whack my finger but can't tell if it actually hit me because there's no blood.

[Hanslanda]

I'm quite accident prone and I have good pain tolerance so I often end up covered in superficial wounds. I sorta expected my toes to be all fucked up but I can't tell by pain cuz even both times I got boxer's fractures on my hands, I had no idea til someone noticed my hands were swollen. In fact, my first break, I was lifting 50lbs of deep fryer oil (still hot) when my brother realized I'd broken my hand.

[GiglameshDespair]

Dancing FBI agent drops gun during backflip and shoots man in leg

[TD1]

Those are some killer dance moves.

[Reelya]

Well that was funny. However the story linked from that is about a US teacher who fed a puppy to a snapping turtle. That dampened my chuckles. Way to teach kids about the facts of life.

[Akura]

A dying puppy. Also, the turtle was killed by authorities afterwards.