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[Kagus]

Adam Jensen says "Yeah, RIP."

EDIT: Also, guy gets killed twice. Somehow.

Ahh, Dark Messiah... Damn good game. Damn terrible voice acting.

Speaking of the voice acting, however... I messed around with the console a few times to determine who had the funniest "falling down a chasm" screech of the spawnable NPCs.

As it turns out... Wizards. It's absolutely wizards. The friendly wizards that help you out in all of 1 mission or so. The ones who you will never normally be able to hear falling down a large drop.

[AzyWng]

The voice clips I heard from Dark Messiah didn't seem that bad to me. Though, of course, since it's Rabbit, the lines seem to be more comedic than dramatic.

Nothing quite like hearing someone shouting "Show some skill before I kill you!" before they get kicked into a fire.

[Kagus]

The voice clips I heard from Dark Messiah didn't seem that bad to me. Though, of course, since it's Rabbit, the lines seem to be more comedic than dramatic.

Nothing quite like hearing someone shouting "Show some skill before I kill you!" before they get kicked into a fire.

Pretty much the entirety of the intro (including most of the tutorial, leading up to that scene those clips are from) is awful, both because the namby protagonist is named Sareth, and because Master Phenrig couldn't sound imposing if he were twenty feet tall and made out of brass.

Also he mispronounces "impale" as "impel". Who the fuck does that?


Later you meet Leanna, who is... Mostly bad, but there are a couple moments were emotions might be involved. Even relevant ones!

If you're used to schlock fantasy LARPer dialogue though, you should be fine.

[USEC_OFFICER]

Besides. You don't play Dark Messiah for the story or voice acting. You play it to kick enemies into chasms or cover them in oil and set them on fire. _{Regular melee combat is a bit of a slog, unfortunately, so once you run out of stamina things get less enjoyable.}

[Kagus]

You can also pick up magery, use the freeze spell on the floor to create an icy puddle, then use telekinesis on anyone who slips on it.

Characters ragdoll when slipping, meaning they're no longer blocked by TK's "no living creatures" pickup rules. You can freely yoink someone with no adrenaline, and then either toss them off a cliff, lazily place them on a spike rack, or even just repeatedly bonk their head into a wall until they die.


Or firetrap people off of ledges. That never gets old...

[USEC_OFFICER]

I know what I'll be doing next play-through then. _{In my first run I wanted to be a mage but got side-lined by all of the good bow/armour/weapons and multi-classed instead. So pure magic will definitely be interesting.}

[Kagus]

Yeah, sword and board is undoubtedly the most powerful combo (note that the unpatched lifestealing sword does not steal 15% of damage, but rather 0.15%, making it completely useless for sustaining yourself), but spells are fun too. Stealth and daggers get the short end of the stick, due to how sneaking/alertness mechanics are coded, and there's precisely one no-key locked chest that can be lockpicked in the game... And it contains warrior gear.

Throwing daggers is fun though.


Archery is a fun concept, dunno how it works as a primary damage source, but lighting arrows off of torches is just good stupid fun. The adrenaline melee bow kill is pretty nasty too, but I love the brutality of the staff kill more.

Magic also gets a really fun staff pretty early on, that raises a magic shield whenever you block. If an enemy spell hits the shield it goes down, but you can fire off the energy as a lightning bolt. Good fun.

[Reelya]

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

[TD1]

Titan needs some liberty.

Also, my laugh: I just had an idea to have a crossover fanfic starring Bridge Four in the 'Bridge to Terebitha' setting.

[Iris]

I think I went overboard:

So the full circlejerk is:

God A goes, "Race X will go to war with Race Y"
God B curses Race X with incredible anger
God C has a servant telling Race Y to do something to Race X
Race X gets offended
Race Z steps in to peacekeep
God A collects, blessing Race X to reverse the curse
God C votes for God B (patron of Race Z) for ending the war
As a war prize, God B rapes one of Race Y
God C is offended
God A steps in, and God B votes for them
God A gives God C one EE for the kid
And then switch roles, in such a way so that A>B>C>A and X>Y>Z>X(edited)

That should be it, all parties directly benefit now
Oh, God A recycles the kid and gives the essence to a random God in the circle

If Ema becomes suspicious, the Essence gained from recycling is used to make a foxskin rug

Mpaïspama votes to hire @Iridium (Kel) as MinisterHenrooster of War for the Chicken Kabal @sl4cker @Maximum Spin(edited)

[IronTomato]

Sagat's theme from Street Fighter 1.

I feel like they probably wanted it to sound threatening but it just sounds sooooo stupid and bad

EDIT: As another Street Fighter-related funny, apparently Zangief was referred to as "Vodka Govalsky" during the development of SF2, and early storyboards for his ending depicted him doing a spinning piledriver on Gorbachev

[Eschar]

This and this.
Does the '76 in Fallout refer to the year in which it is set, as I assume?

[Reelya]

This one was funny: http://babylonbee.com/news/new-mlm-business-literally-just-makes-you-sell-bags-of-garbage-to-your-friends/

But overall babylonbee's writing isn't as good as The Onion. e.g. the title

new-mlm-business-literally-just-makes-you-sell-bags-of-garbage-to-your-friends

"literally just" is 100% stating that it's not to be taken seriously, which implies the writer doesn't take the idea seriously. Whereas The Onion always frames things as if they take the idea seriously.

For anyone who hasn't seen it, a must-see, The Onion's resident movie critic reviewing The Hobbit:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZIy_uLF6xI8

[Eschar]

Does the woman in that picture resemble Charlotte Staples Lewis?

Also:
http://babylonbee.com/news/calvinist-nods-stoically-after-being-ambushed-by-surprise-party/

http://babylonbee.com/news/neil-degrasse-tyson-obnoxiously-heckles-scientific-inaccuracies-throughout-avengers-screening/

http://babylonbee.com/news/paramedic-announces-he-will-only-help-those-who-help-themselves/

http://babylonbee.com/news/bigot-answer-one-simple-question-find/

[Teneb]

I have a feeling it's a parody website.