Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[Loud Whispers]

Memes only truth

[MetalSlimeHunt]

Between this and the vagina inspection game shows on daytime television, I think the UK is going to reach not the lowest common denominator but the lowest possible denominator in due time.

We shall behold this anti-enlightenment. From afar.

[Criptfeind]

Yeah, except it's not a true story. It was printed in the UK equivalent of those Weekly World News fake newspapers. Always funnier if it's actually true.

Most of these seem like they'd be horrific if they were true. In fact, I think there was a horror movie relatively recently basically about what LW showed.

[Loud Whispers]

Most of these seem like they'd be horrific if they were true. In fact, I think there was a horror movie relatively recently basically about what LW showed.

Don't breathe is stellar 10/10 horror kino

Between this and the vagina inspection game shows on daytime television, I think the UK is going to reach not the lowest common denominator but the lowest possible denominator in due time.
We shall behold this anti-enlightenment. From afar.

USA watching the UK for warning is about as useful as a man in the eye of a hurricane watching the periphery from afar

[MetalSlimeHunt]

Between this and the vagina inspection game shows on daytime television, I think the UK is going to reach not the lowest common denominator but the lowest possible denominator in due time.
We shall behold this anti-enlightenment. From afar.

USA watching the UK for warning is about as useful as a man in the eye of a hurricane watching the periphery from afar

An glorious golden city on a hill, untouched by the storm that consumes the whole world as to become the owners of the purified Earth? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

[Loud Whispers]

Between this and the vagina inspection game shows on daytime television, I think the UK is going to reach not the lowest common denominator but the lowest possible denominator in due time.
We shall behold this anti-enlightenment. From afar.

USA watching the UK for warning is about as useful as a man in the eye of a hurricane watching the periphery from afar

An glorious golden city on a hill, untouched by the storm that consumes the whole world as to become the owners of the purified Earth? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

'Mr. President, why is the USA gold plated?'
'Because my city is the best. Biggest. Goldest. Plated bling bling in the best gold. I love goooold.'
Mike Pence looked up from the Orange-Emperor sitting in his golden throne. In the beginning when God created the heavens and the earth, the earth was a painted canvas of gold and smart advertising displays, covering the face of the Earth to the deepest ocean trenches, selling everything to man to deep see crustaceans, while a wind from the newest bitcoin forecast swept over the face of the merchants. Then the megabowl megabrawl megadome activated their messianic agitpop star, and the star declared "I AM THE LIGHT." And all the lights turned on, reflecting off the dazzling bronze scaled leotard the agitpop star wore.

A lone rebel uses VR chat to message 'kill yorslef lel.' They are put in limited state, free to speak, unheard of forever.
'WE ARE DUMBLEDORE'S ARMY. WE ARE THE RESISTANCE. WE ARE THE MOCKINGJAY.' The agitpop star said to annihilating applause - many would have gone deaf, but they instead simply turned down the volume of their VR headsets, for they were actually watching the megadome live from their homes. Tsar Humpty Drumpty sweated a slick orange sweat, this was not part of the script!
By right of war the Tsar was deposed and sent to the hearts of hell, deep in an amazon warehouse, to serve the ministrations of a sapient Roomba manager, managing the logistics of dragon dildo transportation.

Wheretofore the Arch-Drumphtebliltskin replied to the agitpop star:
'Hold it you dummy, you loser, nasty sinner.
You may defeat the Trump,
But you'll never be a winner.
You may defeat the Trump,
But I'm just trump-change,
You've struck down one Trump,
But you'll be mightily WRONG,
For this day you will behold
ten billion Trumps instead of one.'
And the agitpop star wasn't listening, making a new album about xer's childhood trauma using psychoanalysis as their inspiration to uplift all of xer's fans. And it was good

[EnigmaticHat]

Re: vagina inspections: My breakroom has a TV, and take it from someone who only gets to see little out of context slices, American TV is at least as weird.  I once walked in to a crime show that featured a cop telling a sex offender his (as in, the other guy's) life story, while halfheartedly swinging a metal stick at him, not hard enough to hurt just hard enough to be annoying.  While another cop watched.  And its like... what?

Or Bones.  Just... Bones.  Every single clip I've seen of that is weirder than naked inspections.

[Eric Blank]

My mother watches all the crime shows. Used to ask her politely not to watch bones while were trying to eat. Doesnt work anymore. No longer have a disgust related gag reflex. I guess she loat hers from nursing though. Oh the stories she tells

[hector13]

I’d be gagging at the awful stories and story-telling.

[redwallzyl]

https://twitter.com/KIRORadio/status/959178992661221378
Want to be car thief with a mod vs truck with sports commentary. 

[Yoink]

The French word for left is "gauche".

[martinuzz]

I laugh about it, but I am becoming kinda mad at the same time.

Back in november last year, I ordered an upgrade from ADSL to glassfibre.
Over the course of the past 3 months, 3 mechanics came and went.
The first one 'discovered' that there was no glassfibre in my home yet, so he went away again and said I needed another team to dig open the street.
- duh, I told them that, that I had never had glassfibre and didn't have it in the house, but the ISP provider told them there was an in-house connection.

The second one came, dug open the street, and found out the glassfibre cable had already been pulled from the street into my front yard, and then they had to go because they were late for their next job. Told me they'd send another team to drill through my wall and bring the cable inside.

Third mechanic came, drilled a hole in my wall, pulled the cable inside, and found out the cable was just an empty shell, and the glassfibre itself still needs to be blown into from the street.

Today, the street digging team was to return to finish the job.

They just called me to cancel, 3 days of slighlty subzero temperatures at night have apparently made it impossible for them to dig into the ground.
They'll call me for a new appointment.


Wahahahahahaha. Grrrr.

[Eric Blank]

You know something of the sort happened here too. There was some initjative to give rural homes direct access to internet over high speed cable, but on a strict time limit. Time was up before they even got within a mile of us, even though there had been every indication they would install it throughout the entire neighborhood. So they left and its never going to happen again, apparently.

Contractors/surveyors like that, private of government, just seem to be flaky as all hell in general. Like they get paid extra to say its not their problem and defer it to someone else.

[Yoink]

Spoiler: This made me honestly burst out laughing when I checked my phone at work. (click to show/hide)

[TD1]

Nooooo you made me giggle like a little girl.