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[Max™]

So the missus and I were watching Boruto and she sees Orochimaru and Suigetsu in their lab and asks "so what, those two are that kid Mitsuki's parents?" and I told her yes, they both uh... produced essence into a bucket and the creepy kid congealed from it.

Then I was chuckling about shit like Boruto asking Hinata how long she waited before telling Naruto she was preggers, suggesting she would have ignored the question and watered her plants.

On the other hand Sasuke would have just told Sakura she was getting kinda fat before she realized she was pregnant and she says this fucking line that damn near killed me.

"What, how could that have happened, I was wearing Orochimaru's Home-made Condom!"

She starts to correct herself and say "condoms" but I was like 'nope, there's just the one, so everybody in the village takes turns, they have a list and schedule in the Hokage's office even' and I'm fighting with all my might to not fall back down the gigglehole as I type this, send help, please.

Orochimaru's Home-made Condom.

[wierd]

Sounds more like its

XxOrochimaru's Home-made condomxX

If your description is accurate.

[Max™]

WHAT DID HE MAKE IT OUT OF, WHY DOES HE ASK PEOPLE TO BRING IT TO HIM REGULARLY FOR "CLEANING", AND GOD WHY IS THIS SO FUNNY IT HURTS ME TO LAUGH STILL!?!?!?

[scriver]

It's just like the third Xbox console being called the Xbox One. I wouldn't be too surprised if it's the same guy naming it.

In this case it's literally the same title from like, 2005 or something.

Ah, then I get it. It didn't click for me at first.

[Yoink]

The fake heroin smuggling Twitter Jesus saga, summarized here, is a special, shadenfreude-y kind of hilarious.

The guy's save-me-from-MS13 GoFundMe, by the way, was taken down after making only $35 of its $25,000 goal, and now his Twitter is gone too.

It's like watching Icarus fly too close to the sun, except he's wearing circular sunglasses and a mohawk and screaming about his flying skill the whole time so you're rooting for the sun from the outset.

As a white male writer, I feel extremely comfortable saying there needs to be way fewer of us. Possibly even zero.

Good grief, what a way to start an article. I've never seen that website before but if that's the sort of thing they run I feel like it'd be a good fit for the WTF thread... or better yet, the bin.   

[Frumple]

WHAT DID HE MAKE IT OUT OF

C'mon, you have to ask that? Dude turns into a snake. His choice of crafting material is pretty obvious.

E: Also duh to the second one. Why do you think the mad scientist that dabbles in genetic engineering asks people to bring it back for collection cleaning?

[Magistrum]

I did have to fix a bug where the human and dwarven allies also ate the dead if the elves led the attack.

"This is disgusting! Come on, don't you think so too beardless one?"
"Silence, shorty. We have to eat it now, it would be a to disrespect their customs."

[Jopax]

The cooking of Stratholme, a dramatic reading.

[Max™]

The missus and I were chuckling about Sasuke needing to go talk to Orochimaru about sex and whatnot and she fucked up and said "wait, take this before you go, Condom" and I could tell she meant to say Sasuke so I blurted out 'DAMMIT STOP CALLING ME THAT, IT'S NOT MY FUCKING NAME' and we're both dead and zombies now.

[Iduno]

I was introduced to the wonders of the song Fack.

Not my normal kind of music, but I enjoy my crude humour.

Better or worse?

[Arx]

I mean, it's presumably a reference to "a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush".

[Eric Blank]

No, clearly this was the euphamism for the moment fisting was imagined/invented/whatever


totally unrelated;
So just now a little girl ran into the room (this is a public community center) and started exclaiming "Dad! Dad! The fire's out! THE FIRE IS OUT! DAD!" over and over, in reference to the fire place. Clearly, this is NOT how the world should work.

[Max™]

I needed to find the giant size shit bitch bear and as usual I clicked the address bar and started typing only to look up in utter bafflement to discover I had somehow typed "giant shit bitch bair" without realizing it, so after glaring at my fingers for betraying me, I backspaced three times and promptly replaced "bair" with "bare" before saying 'FUCK' and typing "bear" properly and I can't stop giggling over bair what even is it?

[Kagus]

I needed to find the giant size shit bitch bear and as usual I clicked the address bar and started typing only to look up in utter bafflement to discover I had somehow typed "giant shit bitch bair" without realizing it, so after glaring at my fingers for betraying me, I backspaced three times and promptly replaced "bair" with "bare" before saying 'FUCK' and typing "bear" properly and I can't stop giggling over bair what even is it?

"Bair" is an abbreviated colloquialism for a swarm of bees. "Bee-air", "B-air", "Bair".


If you're finding that fact hard to swallow, try greasing it up with some L O L BUTT

[Max™]

THIS DOES NOT EXPLAIN BAIR HOW DID MY FINGERS COME UP WITH THIS WORD WHICH DOESN'T EXIST, I CAN EVEN DO THIS SHIT WHILE WATCHING TV JUST FINE!