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[Flying Dice]

If you really want the good shit, repeat translate poetry.

Spoiler: Shakespeare's Sonnet 29 (click to show/hide)

With the rich and the eyes and the embarrassment of the people
I feel uncomfortable with my condition.
Use the incentive to bring it to heaven.
I've seen my soul, I've insulted my rating
I want a lot of hope
The same person is like him and a friend.
They want to be lucky to have this guy, this guy,
What made me believe that I was satisfied
However, these thoughts, we are almost honored,
I believe in you then my government
Glass can be seen at the rest of the day
An unwanted state told the gate to heaven:
Because your love reminds us of its wisdom.
Then I cut down the use of the King to change the state.

Spoiler: The original text, for those who don't remember and can't be bothered to look it up (click to show/hide)

When in disgrace with fortune and men’s eyes
I all alone beweep my outcast state,
And trouble deaf heaven with my bootless cries,
And look upon myself, and curse my fate,
Wishing me like to one more rich in hope,
Featured like him, like him with friends possessed,
Desiring this man’s art, and that man’s scope,
With what I most enjoy contented least;
Yet in these thoughts my self almost despising,
Haply I think on thee, and then my state,
Like to the lark at break of day arising
From sullen earth, sings hymns at heaven’s gate;
For thy sweet love remembered such wealth brings
That then I scorn to change my state with kings.

[Reelya]

I tried the opening passage of Moby Dick. "Call me ishmael" very quickly changed into a thing about "call/contact my email". Then after a while I stumbled onto something where it turned into a short story about someone called "Emily" but I'm not sure the exact steps to replicated that and I can't repeat it.

However, the poetry example suggests an improvement when doing whole texts. Add line breaks between sentence fragments, because otherwise it just boils the whole thing down to a few sentences. Line breaks ensure that each fragment stays in the end result.

[hector13]

If you really want the good shit, repeat translate poetry.

Spoiler: Shakespeare's Sonnet 29 (click to show/hide)

With the rich and the eyes and the embarrassment of the people
I feel uncomfortable with my condition.
Use the incentive to bring it to heaven.
I've seen my soul, I've insulted my rating
I want a lot of hope
The same person is like him and a friend.
They want to be lucky to have this guy, this guy,
What made me believe that I was satisfied
However, these thoughts, we are almost honored,
I believe in you then my government
Glass can be seen at the rest of the day
An unwanted state told the gate to heaven:
Because your love reminds us of its wisdom.
Then I cut down the use of the King to change the state.

Spoiler: The original text, for those who don't remember and can't be bothered to look it up (click to show/hide)

When in disgrace with fortune and men’s eyes
I all alone beweep my outcast state,
And trouble deaf heaven with my bootless cries,
And look upon myself, and curse my fate,
Wishing me like to one more rich in hope,
Featured like him, like him with friends possessed,
Desiring this man’s art, and that man’s scope,
With what I most enjoy contented least;
Yet in these thoughts my self almost despising,
Haply I think on thee, and then my state,
Like to the lark at break of day arising
From sullen earth, sings hymns at heaven’s gate;
For thy sweet love remembered such wealth brings
That then I scorn to change my state with kings.

Holy shit that got dark right at the end.

[KittyTac]

I was playing Tanki Online (A Russian tank game) with the CTF game-mode. There's the ability to lay down landmines in that game, so I placed one near our team's flag to screw over attackers. 30 seconds later, the opposite team's attacker came and took the flag, then got promptly blown up by the mine. He didn't die, but he was flipped over and launched upwards. Physics can get funny in that game.

[Yoink]

Just caught the tail-end of an infomercial selling natural pain relief, primarily a "pain erazor" that looked distinctly like some kind of cylindrical sex toy.

[Reelya]

On channel 31 here (the public access type channel) there's an advert for "Geoclense", which is a doohicky you plug into the mains power and it emits some sort of thing which is supposed to cleanse your house of all the bad electromagnetic stuff. For only 4 easy payments of $37.50!

https://www.orgoneffectsaustralia.com.au/product/geoclense-home-harmonizer/

The Geoclense ® is a healthy, negative charge resonance field generator designed to balance the noxious, unhealthy positive charge resonance created by all forms of EMR, RF, Wi-Fi, Earth Radiation and Bioplasmic Radiation.

Seriously, did they just lift terminology straight from Star Trek? And the company name is "Orgone Effects". "Orgone" is pseudoscience bio-energy first postulated by mad scientist Dr Wilhelm Reich.

[redwallzyl]

I'm frankly surprised your not supposed to stick it where the sun don't shine. There is some weird crossover between the crazy psudo health people and weird fetishes. Drinking aged pee is a totally normal thing to those kinds of people.

[IcyTea31]

Just caught the tail-end of an infomercial selling natural pain relief, primarily a "pain erazor" that looked distinctly like some kind of cylindrical sex toy.

Fun fact: during sexual stimulation, your body releases hormones that work as painkillers (among other things).

[hector13]

It does that during general exercise too :p

[Rowanas]

It does that during general exercise too :p

Yeah, but if I have to choose between getting my jollies by exercise or shagging, I'll always pick shagging (bonus points because it's also a form of exercise!)

[Eschar]

I used to feel a bit annoyed when people complained about DF's interface.

I found out recently that Tarn and Zach complain about it as well.

[TamerVirus]

Just caught the tail-end of an infomercial selling natural pain relief, primarily a "pain erazor" that looked distinctly like some kind of cylindrical sex toy.

Head on!?! Apply directly to the forehead!?!?!

[Kagus]

It does that during general exercise too :p

Yeah, but if I have to choose between getting my jollies by exercise or shagging, I'll always pick shagging (bonus points because it's also a form of exercise!)

Spicy food does it too. Capsaicin says "your body is actually on fire", brain goes "oh shit, I better do something" and gives you painkillers.

[Rowanas]

It does that during general exercise too :p

Yeah, but if I have to choose between getting my jollies by exercise or shagging, I'll always pick shagging (bonus points because it's also a form of exercise!)

Spicy food does it too. Capsaicin says "your body is actually on fire", brain goes "oh shit, I better do something" and gives you painkillers.

Hence why my Ghostpepper-dildonic-rowing machine is going to be such a huge success!

[Hanslanda]

I used to feel a bit annoyed when people complained about DF's interface.

I found out recently that Tarn and Zach complain about it as well.

This was my lol of the day.