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[hector13]

At least it wasn’t a ripe joke, would’ve upset the OP.

[TD1]

A small boy was looking at the red ripe tomatoes growing in the farmer's garden. "I'll give you my two pennies for that tomato," said the boy pointing to a beautiful, large, ripe fruit hanging on the vine.
"No," said the farmer, "I get a dime for a tomato like that one."
The small boy pointed to a smaller green one, "Will you take two pennies for that one?"
"Yes," replied the farmer, "I'll give you that one for two cents."
"OK," said the lad, sealing the deal by putting the coins in the farmer's hand, "I'll pick it up in about a week."


If you thought that was going to be horribly dirty, you may rest assured that so did I.

[TD1]

"But, as his fine figure, his splendid colour, and his noble manliness made him beloved by all... the old enemy... aroused against him the lust of lascivious maidens, especially of those whose fine figure and superficial beauty are wont to enkindle mad desires in the minds of wretched men. .... holding in his left hand the shield of the gospels and bearing in his right the two-edged sword, he prepared to advance and attack the hostile lines threatening him."

Columbanus, you dog.

As an aside, the battle against the beautiful women ended in a retreat to a monastery in Bangor, and from thence to France. One can only assume that there were then, as now, no beautiful women in either location.

[Bumber]

(The comments are funny too.)

[Loud Whispers]

Joseph Stalin's cover of 'how bad can I be' is unironically hilarious

[Frumple]

“What work did Gulda do to become a warrior?”

“Me?”

Gulda’s eyes became distant.

“I did a tremendous task to become a warrior!”

“Ohh! What is it?”

“I used my halberd against Lenox!”

“……!”

Ian and Grom’s mouths dropped open.

“Warriors need to be strong! I challenged Lenox to prove my strength!”

“What happened?”

“I can’t remember after swinging my halberd! Kuhahahal!”

“……”

“I was unconscious for a week! Since then, I can’t count numbers and sometimes my hands tremble, but it’s okay!

[Jopax]

Music does make all the difference

[Imic]

I found the pic of Salmongod that got him stuffed under Descan's bed.

*stuff SalmonGod under mah bed*

[Tawa]

Found this 100% original doughnut steel ad today.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Presumably, the "G" is for Geralt

[Harry Baldman]

It's a Gwent ad, looks like, and thus most likely perfectly on the level.

I used to think GOG was some kind of shifty thing because it showed up in banner ads too. I guess they're more for stabbing concepts into your thoughtspace as opposed to convincing you that they're things you legitimately want, but it's still pretty funny.

[deathpunch578]

It's a Gwent ad, looks like, and thus most likely perfectly on the level.

I forgot that gwent existed. IMO gwent was kinda a waste of time it's like "Hey there are some huge monsters that you can kill and some amazing side quests, and we have a huge world with tons of lore... also there is this card game you can play" I just don't get the appeal of gwent (inside and outside of the witcher games)

[Carsomyr]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U_Klz5qncZQ

Bradley Walsh losing it 

[Carsomyr]

Went into a jewellers the other day and said to the assistant 'I'd like to buy a watch'
He asked 'Analogue?'
I said 'No, just a watch'

[Carsomyr]

The wife and I just watched 3 DVDs back to back. Luckily, I was the one facing the TV.

Then, she told me to stop acting like a flamingo, so I had to put my foot down.

[Tawa]

It's a Gwent ad, looks like, and thus most likely perfectly on the level.

I used to think GOG was some kind of shifty thing because it showed up in banner ads too. I guess they're more for stabbing concepts into your thoughtspace as opposed to convincing you that they're things you legitimately want, but it's still pretty funny.

Huh, I'd never heard of that. I assumed from the general layout it was some dime-store browser MMO of the likes of Evony