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[Scoops Novel]

Good luck can be followed by bad, I'm just wondering what made you go phew.

[Blastbeard]

I got my face lit on fire by bad things once. Killed the offender, but they still had me dead to rights because there were no bodies of water to duck into. Should have bled to death there, but then it started raining. Somehow, that was enough to put me out.

Fire bad. Fire bad.

[Elaxter]

Got stabbed in the foot by a spear-wielding kobold. Luckily my guy has high willpower and companions to vaporize anything in their wake so I can because famous off their toil help.

[Echostatic]

I was in a dungeon and opened a door leading to a room containing a large warband. my men were quickly overwhelmed. I cut off a head, and engaged the warlord. I couldn't land a single blow... I had an arm broken, and the other cut off. I somehow managed to run away and escape to a nearby village, where I promptly retired. That warband will be getting a visit from a necromancer soon enough...

[Zeni]

Got the fat melted off both butt cheeks by a pissed-off dragon.

Made me chuckle.

[tuypo1]

Got the fat melted off both butt cheeks by a pissed-off dragon.

Made me chuckle.

go back and get more fat melted of it might take multiple trips to be anything near safe though

[Xantalos]

Passed out from exhaustion while fighting a bronze colossus at one point. Fucker broke my leg and ripped off a testicle, because it was a modded game. Genesis, I think. Then I killed him.

On another occasion, I was fighting a balrog and got my leg fat melted off.

[ShinQuickMan]

Much like others here, one of the closest encounters I had with an adventurer involved lots of !!FUN!!

In this case, my adventurer just had a hard-earned conquest over a tower, newly trained in the arts of necromancy. Just as he was sneaking out of there, the wilderness around him suddenly combusts in flames. The fat from his body was already melting.

Preparing for his funeral, I decided to survey the area to see just what caused this. Patches of land were already ablaze in smoke. Looking carefully, I noticed a creature that I've never seen wandering the wilderness; _{a demon}. I didn't know it at the time, but it must have come from a cave not far from the tower.

I thought to test the might of this fiend first-hand. I had him run back to the tower, and as he did, he stopped melting, fortunately enough. Putting his newfound power over the dead to good use, I had him recruit some fresh meatshields, and finally pursued the beast in better terms (from a place that wasn't on fire).

The monster, of course, begins wrecking havok upon the undead. My adventurer then shot at the beast with bow and arrows from ambush. To my surprise, despite this adventurer being a legendary archer and bowman, the beast dodged all shots handily. Worse still, the monster was now blowing flames right at the adventurer, and though none of the shots connected, it did manage to light the ground on fire.

So now the adventurer's fat was melting again. I tried to have him flee, but the pain he was in slowed him down significantly. I looked around for some bodies to raise between him and the beast to buy time, but could only find smears of grease and rubble. As a hail Mary, he raised some distant corpses, hoping the monster would be redirected there. Through a miracle, this plan worked perfectly. This gave the adventurer time to run off to sneaking distance, live through the melting fat, and fast travel back into town. But the injuries had a dramatic impact on his movement speed, so I let him retire quietly.
 

[klefenz]

That reminded me of WoW Cata, when Deathwing would randomly appear and set the map on fire.

[BlackFlyme]

The first one that comes to mind when I think of close calls is when a utility spider in Genesis Mod saved me from a centaur in a tomb below a temple, of all places.

Spoiler: The legends entry for the little bot. The picture is a bit large. (click to show/hide)

I've had a lot of 'almost-close-calls' where I saw a hope-spot and died anyways though.

[RealFear]

The monster, of course, begins wrecking havok upon the undead. My adventurer then shot at the beast with bow and arrows from ambush. To my surprise, despite this adventurer being a legendary archer and bowman, the beast dodged all shots handily. Worse still, the monster was now blowing flames right at the adventurer, and though none of the shots connected, it did manage to light the ground on fire.

Pretty sure skill in dodging scales much more quickly then the bonus you get for high bowman skills, even the best archers can't change their arrow's direction after it's fired.

[escondida]

I once stumbled upon a lair in the wilderness by the coast. It was night, and my faithful companion had just been killed in an unexpected ambush (you know, as opposed to all those expected ambushes), so I figured "What the heck...whatever's in there is no more likely to kill me than the Bogeymen," and in I went. What did I find? A whole family of Cyclopes. It later turned out that these six Cyclopes were nearly the last of their kind.

I managed to kill one before being swarmed, and ended up retreating out the door and out onto the frozen ocean. The monsters followed me out, and were fast enough to keep up and harry me with every step. I thought they had me for sure...when the sun rose, and shortly after, the ice melted. They couldn't keep up with my legendary swimming (my only legendary skill), and I was finally able to kite then to death from the shore, diving in and swimming away if they got close.

*Phew*.

Edit: I particularly liked that the ocean saved me from the Cyclopes, in Earth mythology the children of Poseidon. I figure it was his way of saying "Look, I know I encased your last adventurer in ice, but hey, I'm not such a bad guy."

[klefenz]

I once stumbled upon a lair in the wilderness by the coast. It was night, and my faithful companion had just been killed in an unexpected ambush (you know, as opposed to all those expected ambushes), so I figured "What the heck...whatever's in there is no more likely to kill me than the Bogeymen," and in I went. What did I find? A whole family of Cyclopes. It later turned out that these six Cyclopes were nearly the last of their kind.

I managed to kill one before being swarmed, and ended up retreating out the door and out onto the frozen ocean. The monsters followed me out, and were fast enough to keep up and harry me with every step. I thought they had me for sure...when the sun rose, and shortly after, the ice melted. They couldn't keep up with my legendary swimming (my only legendary skill), and I was finally able to kite then to death from the shore, diving in and swimming away if they got close.

*Phew*.

Edit: I particularly liked that the ocean saved me from the Cyclopes, in Earth mythology the children of Poseidon. I figure it was his way of saying "Look, I know I encased your last adventurer in ice, but hey, I'm not such a bad guy."

Maybe it was Ulmo this time.

[ShinQuickMan]

Pretty sure skill in dodging scales much more quickly then the bonus you get for high bowman skills, even the best archers can't change their arrow's direction after it's fired.

Well, sure. That much I understand now. But at the time, it was the first time I've ever fought a clown in adventure mode, so being witness to its awesome ninja dodging techniques came as a terrible surprise. Guess I shoulda make that more clear.

@escondida

That story sounds like a it would fit soundly in a Norse saga with some proper editing (ie replacing "cyclops" with "troll").

Anyway, the nooby death thread reminded me of another close call I've had. I'll put it in spoilers for the reader's convenience.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

There was that time I was playing as a modded creature. He was basically a wingless pixie that also has tougher skin, lacked blood, and had some natural skills in dodging and hiding to compensate for its inability to wear clothes and general ineptitude in combat. He was at still capable of lift and hold human-sized items without encumbrance, humorously enough, and while most weapons were far less effective or outright unusable, throwing was still as lethal as with the best of them.

 So, his adventure started in a lone hamlet in a tundra, distant from the next closest site. This place was desolate, with at most three inhabitants. Unwilling to risk live combat practice with wildlife, I just had him grind throwing and ambush nearby.

 When he was more or less ready, I had him ask around for some quests. The first one I got was to kill a vampire, which happened to live at the opposite end of the same village. _{though it did take more time to find the target than normal no thanks to the inaccurate quest marker} So I find the vampire. Then I had my guy call her out, run off to hide, and pelt her with sharp stuff until she bled to death, nothing unusual.

 Now, I had my guy loot her corpse and un-sneak to move around faster. As this happens, I notice a person (the only other one aside from the quest giver) coming out of a nearby house. I thought "ah, must've been alerted by the fight. I'll go brag to this one, then". So my guy walks towards the villager, when suddenly the combat log starts spazzing out.
 
 "The hell was that? Why is that villager attacking me?" Only then did I place the cursor over her, finally realizing that she was a cultist (the first I've ever encountered, in fact). My guy was now prone, but uninjured. For those turns he did nothing but try and crawl away as the cultist tried to squish and stab him.

 I kept cool, knowing it's just a matter of landing a good hit with some dirt. So my guy threw junk at the cultist, giving a good bruising to a lung and some other nicks. That's when she manages to grasp his leg.

 "Well, that's that", I thought, "one snap will be the end of this."

 My guy threw some more dirt in desperation, which of course causes only some more inconsequential damage. Luckily, this was just enough to topple the cultist via pain.

 She was executed immediately, and the tiny guy went on to become a successful hero.

[escondida]

I particularly liked that the ocean saved me from the Cyclopes, in Earth mythology the children of Poseidon. I figure it was his way of saying "Look, I know I encased your last adventurer in ice, but hey, I'm not such a bad guy."

Maybe it was Ulmo this time.

Heh. That's just awesome and geeky enough to work. One problem, though. Ulmo's pretty solidly on the side of Good, and I'm pretty sure that this adventurer...wasn't. She ended up being pretty unambiguously evil, even if we don't count killing most of the last members of a near-extinct sapient race who were just trying to live out in the wilderness. Like, they hadn't even murdered anybody except a couple historical adventurers who stumbled across them hundreds of years ago. Still, points for the Silly Marilly/Histories of Middle Earth reference.

That story sounds like a it would fit soundly in a Norse saga with some proper editing (ie replacing "cyclops" with "troll").

Nice! Thanks! I could pretend I played Masterwork and call them "frost giants," I suppose.

"The hell was that? Why is that villager attacking me?" Only then did I place the cursor over her, finally realizing that she was a cultist (the first I've ever encountered, in fact). My guy was now prone, but uninjured. For those turns he did nothing but try and crawl away as the cultist tried to squish and stab him.

Nice story! Also, informative...despite my obsessive df playing and wiki walking, I never knew about vampire cults. That's really cool.