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[nymall]

Summary:

We're stuck in a financial rut. There are several things going on that provide blocks to me getting full employment, and my signifigant other cannot work due to medical reasons. Any Advice on getting out?

Full Post:

For the last three years I've been a stay-at-home dad. I'm fine with the position(my wife doesn't cook and I swear she doesn't know how the washing machine works), but during this Christmas she became extremely ill, and was forced to "quit" her position. We've been on Employment Insurance while this was happening, and recently it has run out. I have been getting small odd jobs in website design, but nothing that gives us enough money to survive.

I've been putting my resume out wherever businesses will take them, and the response has varied from cold to hostile. The job market in our area is grim at the best of times, but It didn't used to be this bad. Most of the positions I apply for I either never hear back from, or the response is for some glaring issue with my resume that they need to clarify.

To complicate things, I suffer from depression, shyness and introversion. This means that even at the best of times I'm socially weird, and at the worst I'm looking for spare feet to jam into my mouth. This is also made worse by a stutter when I get nervous. So far I have flunked every one of my interviews, and It's driving me nuts. I'm a good worker, and I have proof, it's just I'm not getting chances.

My resume is a journey of strange - my family life was not good growing up, so I moved around a lot after I left home. I didn't really feel comfortable staying in one place, but usually I knew someone who could give me a leg up into a business somewhere. I worked tonnes of jobs, from Septic Cleaning all the way to Meat Packaging and Call Service. Unfortunately, that gives me tenure problems, which was highlighted by my Career Development Agent.

I'm enrolled with a government agency called CANSA, which provides skills and development for people out of work, on assistance or EI. However, my primary contact has basically been brushing me off as of recently, and as with all government agencies it's nightmarish to get anyone to contact you without three court orders and a military unit ready to siege the building.

The problem comes that I'm also not as fit as I used to be, and some of my previous life problems are catching up to me. Injuries that I sustained working construction mean my back is garbage, and strength and stamina have gone downhill, leading to reduced heavy lifting ability. My primary trade is Web Programming, and most of my experience is from things I've either taught myself or learned while doing freelance projects. I wish I could support myself as a freelancer, but the last few months have shown that to be next to impossible. I also don't have either the time or money to go and receive the proper tickets.

So, questions:

• Any advice for Stay-at-home dads going back to work?
• Any advice to help people stay positive on the wasteland of employment searching?
• Any advice to help dealing with uncooperative government agencies?
• Any advice for Freelance programmers, to make it actually sustainable?
• Any advice on dealing with shyness in general?
• Any advice on improving resume tenure problems?

Also, clarifications:
I am a true introvert(this comes up more often then it should). Honestly, if I could go into the woods and live like a hermit I would. Unfortunately, I have a family to feed, so that becomes secondary.

I am not a site designer or artist. I mainly deal with server-side scripts, database tech and some occasional client side stuff. I can do interfaces, but everything else quickly devolves into programmer art.

[Jafferey]

If you want to feel positive it can be good to do some activities that have any kind of progress. Even if it's just doing gardening projects in your backyard.

To help with shyness, maybe spend more time around other people until you become more comfortable. Put yourself in some social situations where you have to interact with people or do brave social things, then you'll probably get more used to it and figure out how to deal with it  (I guess ??)

[Vector]

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