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HELLO SHOPPER! Welcome to Catten & Sons' Used Minecart Emporium!
Can I interest you in minecart today? What? You don't know why you would need one? PAY ATTENTION!
This baby is the lastest innovation in fine dwarven engineering. Let me tell you something, son, ALL craftsdwarfship is of the highest quality. You can move almost 1.5x MORE STONE WITH THIS than with that shoddy old wheelbarrow.
Don't need your stone hauled, you say? What kind of dwarf are you? Don't answer that, just look. Look. Closer. You know what that is? THAT'S PLATINUM, BOY. When Urist McFancypants spends two months carrying this fine vehicle to where you actually want it, all the ladies will be paying attention. And if you have a megabeast problem (don't be embarassed lad, it happens to us all) you can fill this sucker up with bins full of blocks and RAM IT RIGHT UP THAT DRAGON'S SCALY CLOACA. You think it'll like that? Not a chance, kiddo. That firebreathing menace will end up in so many pieces you'll be dragging bits of it to the kitchen for the next two seasons.
Now look over there. No, over there. Yeah, that's it. You've got tattered socks all over the place, you slob. You call that a stockpile? SHAMEFUL! With a GENUINE Catten & Sons minecart you can kiss those sprawling piles goodbye! The great minds at the Dwarven Academy of Magma Engineering have integrated a little something we like to call the Spatial Compression Manifold. How does it work? Don't be such a nerd. What does it do? QUANTUM STOCKPILES BABY! HELL YEAH! That's right, quantum. It's physics and shit. Do you want one yet? OF COURSE YOU DO!
Catten & Sons' Used Minecart Emporium accepts no liability for any crushed dwarves, cats, or other critters that may be flattened by misuse of our product. Except elves. You can totally give us credit for that. Please use our product responsibly; always guide drunk.
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