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[Tawa]

"Shall I drag the body into the courthouse?"

[TheBiggerFish]

"A timestamped photograph will suffice."

[Tawa]

"..."

"Timestamped. Lazily but effectively."

"Now then! Who shall be the first witness?"

[endlessblaze]

"what sort of sentence are we looking at should my client be found guilty?"

[Tawa]

"Twenty-five to life, or so they say. But..."

"Tell me, do you know why they call me 'Death God of the Old Bailey'? Or, in Japanese, the ridiculous turn of phrase in the thread title?"

[endlessblaze]

"I'm going to step out on a limb here and assume its because you push for death penalty?"

[Tawa]

"Actually, no."

"They call me that because no defendant I have ever prosecuted has survived. Regardless of their sentence."

"Maybe you'll break the cycle?"

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

"But enough talk! Have at you!"

[endlessblaze]

"are you sure your not a vampire?"

[TheBiggerFish]

"If the judge ejects you from the courtroom before the trial's complete for roughhousing the furniture one too many times, can you be said to have prosecuted the defendant?"

[PrivateNomad]

"I'm pretty sure you aren't allowed to have wine in the courtroom."
"Unless that's blood. I say we fine Mr. Zieks for possession of alcohol in a Court of Law."

[IcyTea31]

"They call me that because no defendant I have ever prosecuted has survived

"To be fair, most people don't survive life regardless of their prosecutor..."

[TheBiggerFish]

"Hmm.  Let me just..."

[Gwolfski]

" Hmmm ... What? Alcohol?" *spluttering*"Definitively no alcohol here... Hic."

[BadLemonsXI]

"Yo"

Spoiler: still_image_for_editing (click to show/hide)

[BlitzDungeoneer]

"Holy moly, the lemon has returned.

How've you been, lemon?"