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[NJW2000]

*NJW2000 settles down in front of the luxurious courtroom bonfire with a snifter of Chardonnay*



Firstly, let's review the case in hand. Dampe has acquiesced, no doubt due to my unconventional but effective courtroom tactics, to allow Tara-thingummy, and by extension, everybody, to get off with only three quarters of a lifetime of imprisonment in HFS.

As a respected member of the jury, I put it to you, ladies and gentleman, that it is not only possible but likely, given the high percentage of weapon wielding lunatics here today, that whatsisname-rochir, and by extension everybody, has exceeded already three quarters of his Armok-allotted lifespan, and there is no way to tell if this is the case or not.

Thus, even if the penalty takes effect immediately, and the charges go through, there is no feasible manner in which they court's decision could be enacted, thus rendering the charges immaterial.

Case closed.

*NJW200 sits back down*

[BlitzDungeoneer]

"Oh? Well, you face my true might as a Sword Kirby, the mighty blade, Grammarnazia!"
Blitz conjures up the Golden Sword of Language, Grammarnazia, to battle endlessblaze and his foul spelling mistakes! See the exciting conclusion on the next episode of 'Bay12 Courtroom X'!

[endlessblaze]

(endlessblaze uses the golden sword of spring growth's special ability! surrounding him with a field of deadly flowers! all players withn this field (except the user of the ability) take massive damage for as long as they are in it!)

and know that today you face only a small fraction of my power.

[BlitzDungeoneer]

"Fool! You face but a fraction of a fraction of my own! And you know not of Grammarnazia's abilities! As long as you continue to use incorrect grammar and spelling mistakes, nothing you can affect me and it's blade deals 10d4 damage per cut to you!"
Blitz proceeds to slash at endlessblaze.
"Tawa, if you would."

[Tawa]

"Fine, next question. Mr. Defendant, I've noticed your posts on my AD&D thread have been spotty, and even (dare I say it?) infrequent. Do you know what the penalty is for Negligent Misuse of a Magic Cat is?"

"I misused him by... not using him? How does that work? Anyway, I have no idea what that penalty is."

ETERNITY IN THE HFS IS THE PENALTY

"Eternity in Dwarven Hell is the penalty for... not using a magic cat?"

"That's... overly specific. And overkill. Really, really overkill."

"How do you recommend that I had used it, then? I still have like, no clue what it does."

-snip-

"What's with the disrobing...?"

"You two! Take it outside!"

Spoiler: Court Record (click to show/hide)

Tawarochir Law Offices Attorney's Badges
Tawarochir and co.'s attorney's badges. Proof of our profession.
Dampe's Prosecutor's Badge
Dampe's prosecutor's badge, even though his sprite is an Interpol agent. Edgeworth's mentor says it's more chic to keep it in your pocket.
Wikipedia Article
Wikipedia article on objections in law. Could come in handy.
Tawarochir's Business Card
Tawarochir Law Offices' business card. Has the address of this thread, the phone number of this thread, and Tawa's, his protégé's, and Techy's names on it.
Punishment for Misuse of Magic Cats
Unusually strict regulations on magic cat usage. Life in the circus, no parole.

[BlitzDungeoneer]

"Tawa, I'm asking you to set up a duel between me and blaze, and, more importantly, roll for that attacks damage. Please?"

[endlessblaze]

0.o

"ok"


(blaze drags blitz to the arena. why is there an arena in a court house? bay12)


((also keep in mind that my sword does 30-35 damage every hit, and that also by coming close enough to slash me you step into my field of deadly flowers))

[NJW2000]

As spokesman for the jury, I feel that a duel, with the case being closed, would be a rather appropriate celebration right now.

Oh, and you missed several garments of mine from the court record. I'm not using them, go ahead and add all you like.

[poketwo]

I HAVE FOUND YOU, REPRESENTATIVE YUSEF!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU SHALL NOW BE APPREHENDED AND SENT TO MY SECRET PRISON UNDER MICROPHONIA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

[Tawa]

MEANWHILE, IN THE DEFENDANT LOBBY HALLWAY...

[BlitzDungeoneer]

"Oi! What about my Grammarnazia, or my hat?!"

[Tawa]

"Oi! What about my Grammarnazia, of my hat?!"

"Sorry, man, the Von Karmas would get pissed if they showed up and you were wearing that thing."

[BlitzDungeoneer]

"Then what about my Grammarnazia?"

[Tawa]

"I have no idea what that is."

[BadLemonsXI]

"Blitz is that yo-"

"Grammarnazia. . . fight meh. .  . endlessblaze . . .bluh bluh bluh"

"Rrrrrrrrr"