Getting Information And/Or Crunk
Graa! Narf! Kroosh intones, reading out of a book that looks somewhat like a Gibberish-English dictionary.
Hopefully I did that right. Just starting out this warlord thing. I think I'll get really drunk. Makes savagery easier.
Request booze from bartender until sufficiently inebriated so as to naturally act 'grr'. Drunkenly question people around me about where we are and such.
Rubric merely stands up, looking at the others with distaste.
"We have a common goal now, it seems, but I still have my own. I recommend none of you interfere. I have one piece of advice I have learned in my travels, however. It could very well help us."
He clears his throat.
"To commune with the mad, one must become mad themselves."
He heads upstairs to get wasted. The best plan is to get drunk enough to understand the other patrons' ramblings.
Krrosh and Rubric are clearly on the same frequency, as they head off to ascend the stairs and reach the main portion of the bar. Upstairs the bar room is lively and active, the smell of alcohol piercing everyone's nostrils. On the stage, a young man in a cap strums out a guitar.
When I think of you, the climax of my medulla/Ceases the crushing blows of enigma/For the one we truly know/Is the one we see hereafter.
One of the patrons places his drink down, crying softly. "Shit...the depth....it's like he really knows how I feel...."
The cyberdwarf and lynx sit down at the bar.
"Two of your roughest pints!" Krrosh barks at the young Chinese bartender. She firmly places her hand on her hips, "You can pay?" Damn, it looks like she has caught the ploy of these two alcoholics in the making, as neither has a Neo-Shekel to spare! However, a mustached man at the end of the bar speaks up for them. "Put it on my tab," he looks at the two of them pitifully, assuming their an improvised interracial same-sex couple.
This act of charity gets both of them one Dragonforce Doozer each. Down the hatch.
Roll for Sobriety!Rubric = 2
Krrosh = 12
Rubric immediately crashes to the floor, completely wasted. The first part of his plan, to get drunk, definitely succeeded. However, instead of chatter he could only hear constant buzzing and droning. And the floor was spinning. This would not do. Rubric tries keeping his eyes open, which prove to be the only task he can focus on and successfully perform.
Krrosh held his sway better, his tough dwarven organs built to consume the hardest of alcohols. That didn't mean he could stand up without bracing himself against the safety of the bar, but at least he could stand. He turns to the people sitting adjacent to him,
"WHAAAAAT IS THIS PLACE?" A man shrugs, "Xu Yi Shi. The bar." The dwarf, content with this knowledge for now, sinks into his seat.
"If I had a metal....ohhhhhh Lord.""I'd rather we meet back here after getting the basic gist of this."
Sarah was quite intrigued by the concept of this goal--a straightforward and simple one. A complex goal.
"I'd rather we meet back here after getting the basic gist of this. However..."
Inquire at the spirit:
> What is the local disposition about asking ideas about B-Ball, in general?
> Local authorities. Demeanor regarding the government and on Basketball.
> Ask him if he knows of James. James Naismith.
Sarah walks up to the Spirit of
LeBron James, pulling up an empty crate in front of him and sitting down. She crosses her legs, bending forward and assuming a posture of questioning.
"What is the local disposition about asking ideas about B-Ball, in general?""Simply asking about it isn't allowed, but it does raise suspicion. Discussing any illicit subject matter, such as the subject of Murder, is certainly allowed and even commonplace in certain areas, but if you kept on delving into Murder incessantly and passionately with someone you wouldn't know, wouldn't it make sense for them to suspect that you are up to something? I'm not trying to compare Basketball to Murder, but both have the same level of stigma attached." LeBron sighs deeply, briefly looking down at the floor.
"The local authorities, what is their demeanor regarding the Government and Basketball?"LeBron looks up.
"The authorities are under the government's leash, as they get all sorts of bonuses as long as they blindly follow whatever orders they are given. They have coveted positions, and are willing to go to great lengths in order to keep them. As for Basketball, I believe that many of them have been brainwashed and taught to hate and fear the game and players as our forerunners felt about magical witches and warlocks centuries ago. Though to be honest, I also believe that several of them understand the game of Basketball on some level, but they hide this, out of fear for their occupation and personal safety.""Do you know of James Naismith?""I do know of the tale of James Naismith, a powerful half-deity in the time of our ancestors who developed Basketball as a way of nurturing the greatest potential of human beings. Basketball was a much different game back then, but we owe to him the foundation that paved the way for its glory in the modern age, at least before the Great B-Ball Purge." LeBron grins,
"For a lady so stoic in appearance, you ask many thoughtful questions."Hmm..."
Johnny steeples his fingers in front of his mouth, and broods.
Then, he stands up and goes to the roof. Somehow.
Johnny Johnson the Second does the only sensible thing and goes to the roof, somehow. At the roof, he stands on the edge for no reason than to appear as a cool enigma, the cool night breeze causing his robes to flutter elegantly, though the chill feels uncomfortable as it whips across his semi-unprotected crotch area. Stifling any visible signs of discomfort, he looks out onto the horizon, his view blotted with the shape of a multitude of buildings lighting up the night with a vast array of colorful lights: yellows, oranges, reds, blues, neons.
"Senpai-Sama, I will avenge you," he says only to himself, and the Dwarf retching into a bucket a few feet a way from him.
"..."
In the corner, Nigel the Rapping Shadow just... sort of blends in with the shadows in the corner, scribbling in a notepad. When he realises who's there, he also realises he needs to take advantage of this unrepeatable miracle.
"Yo," he says, in a hard-to-define kind of mid-English accent, "Mr LeBron? I wonder if you could like rap two lines to sum up the essence of basketball and its relation to the secret of existence? I remember things better when they rhyme, and that would totally help me keep up my morale in the dark days to come... Sir."
Ask the above. Then wait for comrades to become drunk. Find the nearest hiding place, and also the nearest exit.
Suddenly Nigel realises he actually has some comrades who are not becoming immediately drunk.
"Er. Hello comrades? I am Nigel - I am a rapper and ninja by trade, and also an apprentice accountant. How about you?"
Nigel saunters over to
LeBron James. "Yo, Mr LeBron? I wonder if you could like rap two lines to sum up the essence of basketball and its relation to the secret of existence? I remember things better when they rhyme, and that would totally help me keep up my morale in the dark days to come... Sir."LeBron shifted in his seat,
"I never considered myself a rapper, but I'll try." He cleared his throat,
B-Ball is a ferocious game/You gotta' sink one before you make a name." He leans back confidently,
"That was hot fire, if I say so myself." Nigel nods respectfully, before looking for hiding spots. This basement seems a good spot for now if one needed to hide, though the women's bathroom upstairs works as well, since it is never used due to the apparent lack of any female bar patrons, which also gives it the benefit of containing approximately 5000000% less life-threatening microorganisms than in the men's room. Also, there's a large cupboard behind the bar that could work, though the bartender may beat you with a broom if she finds you in there. There's an exist right in the front of the bar, but as that also doubles as the entrance, the fire exit adjacent to the stage is probably the best bet in case of an emergency.
Doctor Bear idles in a Uncanny-Valley way.
Doctor Bear
Level 1 Android
Weapon: Laser - A Standard android laser. Pew pew pew.
Clothes: Specialized Tunic - Oddly specific hole placed near the lower back. Normal otherwise.
Bling:
Techniques:
Laser - Shoots an enemy with a laser. Moderate damage, high accuracy.
Stratagems:
Spread Laser - LASERS. Shoots up to 3 enemies with a laser. Costs 10 BP.
BP: 18/18
Health: Fine
MC Nigel the Deadly Ninja Assassin, Shinobi Technician
Level 1 Shinobi Technician
Weapon: Unsilenced Pistol - Incredibly stealth. If it didn't have the minor side effects of muzzle flash and gunshot sound followed by someone falling to the ground screaming in agony, you wouldn't be able to even tell anything happened.
Clothes: Black Pajama Suit - Invaluable when blending into a background composed of black bedsheets.
Bling:
Techniques:
Shadow Takedown - The Shinobi silently brings down a target by running up to them and beating the shit out of them with jumping punches and flying dropkicks, possibly throwing a chair or two. Moderate damage, moderate accuracy, high stealth.
Darkness Chainsaw - Pull out a Chainsaw to sneak up on an unsuspecting enemy to stealthy remove their innards. Fairly-high damage, fairly-low accuracy, high stealth.
Stratagems:
Molotov Toss - Light an enemy on fire with a Molotov to distract them from an actual attack. Lowers Agility. Costs 6 BP.
Shotgun Sneak - Assassinate two enemies with a double-barreled shotgun before the rest of their group even knows an attack commenced. Target up to 2 enemies. Costs 10 BP.
BP: 18/18
Health: Fine
Rubric "Kitty-Kitty" Dao
Level 1 Non-Pacifist Monk
Weapon: Unarmed - The default Non-Pacifist Monk weapon, a skilled martial artist's punch or kick can be just as deadly as any guns'hot or b-ball attack.
Clothes: White Gi - A simple Eastern get-up for practicing the material arts. Be wary of food stains.
Bling:
Combo Meter:10 Combo Points
Attacks:
Jab - A quick straight punch. Low damage, decent accuracy. 2 Combo Points.
Low Kick - Straight to the shins. Moderate damage, moderately-low accuracy. 2 Combo Points.
Punch - A powerful hook. Decent damage, moderate accuracy. 3 Combo Points.
Finishers:
Spinning Hook - A hard swing targeting the skull. Lowers Brain. 4 Combo Points
Sweep - A spinning kick to send your target to the ground. Lowers Agility. 6 Combo Points.
Stratagems:
Holy Touch - Invoke healing powers to erase wounds. Heals a moderate amount. Costs 10 BP.
Medical Knowledge - Recall teachings to eradicate ailments. Stops Ailments. Costs 20 BP.
BP: 30/30
Health: Fine
Krrosh Anvilhumper
Level 1 Celtic Space Warlord
Weapon: Rusty Claymore - Nothing beats a rusty claymore if you want to stock up on obsolete, ruined weaponry!
Clothes: Tattered Kilt - The tattering isn't all that bad, it didn't cover up that much to begin with.
Bling:
Techniques:
Charge! - Run at the target before launching at them with the pointy part of your weapon. Decent damage, fairly low accuracy.
Slice n' Dice - If you swing it around enough, you'll be bound to hit them at some point. High damage, low accuracy.
Stratagems:
Beserker - Let the thirst for death seep through your veins! Increases Strength. Costs 5 BP.
Dance of the Barbarian - Front-flips are an essential part of Warlord culture. Targets up to 2 Enemies. Costs 10 BP.
BP: 10/10
Health: Fine
Johnny Johnson the 2nd
Level 1 Zaubermancer
Weapon: Basic Zauber - A somewhat respectable blade, at least if you didn't know it was bought for 42 Neo-Shekels in a Chinese souvenir store.
Clothing: Robes - Long and mysterious.
Bling:
Techniques:
Zauber Strike - Launches an elemental attack according to the type of Zauber wielded. Moderate damage, moderate accuracy, elemental properties.
Dash Slice - Slash apart a monster with precision cuts. Low damage, high accuracy.
Zeta Scan - Use tactical knowledge to decipher the patterns of your opponents. Targets all enemies, slightly lowers Agility.
Stratagems:
Fire Zauber - Creates a wall of fire around an enemy, lowering their Strength. Costs 10 BP.
Water Zauber - Showers up to 3 enemies with deadly waters, inflicting either Dysentery or Glaucoma. Costs 15 BP.
Ice Zauber - Freezes an enemy to keep them in place to deliver a sophisticated, powerful strike. Costs 20 BP.
BP: 32/32
Health: Fine
Sarah
Level 1 Ex-Intelligence Agent
Weapon: Baton - Plastic and non-lethal, which is good because you don't have to worry about accidental death ending the interrogation prematurely.
Clothes: Cheap Suit - Good enough for work, unless you had to attend a dinner party.
Bling:
Techniques:
Incapacitate - ?
Choke - ?
Stratagems:
Eliminate - SERVICES NO LONGER REQUIRED. Costs 15 BP.
Bribe - FORWARD FUNDS TO CAYMAN ISLANDS ACCOUNT. Costs X Amount of Neo Shekels.
BP:20/20
Health: Fine
Author
Topic: LeBron's Shut up and Slam - Yui No Gaiden! [An Actual Plan is Happening II] (Read 28294 times)