Date: 1 Slate 159Stupid liason finally left, saying that we are officially a county. Which is confusing, because there are no counts here. Crazy bastard.
I was inspecting the new statue garden/meeting hall today when I came across a major design flaw! Apparently someone forgot to build stairs in the stream trench, and left a conscripted miner and her child trapped inside. The kid was sleeping, and the miner was hunting for a small creature to survive. Too engrossed in her gross task to think rationally, she ignored the fact that she has a pickaxe and could dig her way out.
Not wanting two deaths staining my hands or the meeting hall, I ordered every single miner to drop what they were doing and run to the area, where I had ordered a staircase to be dug. I also ordered the construction of a stairway in case a mason happened to be closer.
While this was going on, some kid was possessed by unknown forces to make something beautiful, and likely completely worthless. He did not disappoint.
He claims it's worth 40800☼. Yeah, whatever you say, kid.
I also learned that the blueprints for my quarters appear to intersect the aquifer. This is an OUTRAGE! I picked that spot so that it would be in the middle of the fortress, and now it's RUINED! Fine, I'll move it somewhere else.
Anyway, the miner managed to be freed and make it to the nearby food stockpile without starving to death. Despite her predicament, she didn't seem too upset about the whole ordeal.
Date: 17th Felsite 159Uh oh.
Shit. ShithshitshitSHIT! Oh this is not good. We're screwed. I've never even been in an ambush, let alone a full blown siege! No, they cannot do this, they cannot defeat us, not while the project is underway! Go, dwarves, defend the fortress with your lives!
Thankfully, this siege seems kind of small for an assault team. Maybe they're getting demoralized after years of failure?
Not that I'm complaining, of course.
Unfortunately for the pack of guard dogs at the entrance, the first squad to hit the walls are bowmen. The poor animals are slaughtered mercilessly, without laying so much as a tooth on the enemy.
OOC- The charging goblins reminded me of this http://youtu.be/GJoM7V54T-c?t=43s /OOCBut, their deaths were not in vain! They allowed just enough time for a couple of marksdwarves to reach the battlements.
There does appear to be a design flaw in the sniper tower, however. Namely, the giant fucking hole in the middle.
That's gonna be fixed soon. Thankfully, neither soldier is injured. Nor is the marksdwarf that fell a few minutes afterwards.
EVERYTHING THAT FOLLOWS IN THIS POST IS NON-CANON AND NEVER OFFICIALLY HAPPENED
It is then that I record the first fatality, of a child that followed its mother into combat, when it should have been in the burrow because of the alert.
It's his own fault, really.
Soon, another marksdwarf is struck down.
These disheartening events were interrupted by a moment of hilarity as I spot a pack of trolls chasing a donkey across the land.
Oh dear. The donkey and a troll managed to get inside the fortress. This is bad.
FUCK. WELL, it turns out that the bridge to the pasture WAS in fact raised and that I had LOWERED it. Well, this is bad. I immediately order the bridge to be raised again. Maybe it will take out a few goblins.
"I'm not trapped in here with you! YOU ARE ALL TRAPPED IN HERE WITH ME!!"
A dwarven child trapped outside the walls was killed by a goblin. I also receive word that a miner known as "Mr. Wiggles" has been missing for a week. I can only assume that he died of thirst after being trapped somewhere, but there are more pressing matters at the moment. Such as the goblin army invading the farms.
A milk spider tries to help the dwarves, but only succeeds in trapping the squad in its webbing.
The siege at the front gate appears to have been eliminated, so I order most of the squads there to assist at the farms.
A maned wolf gets in on the action:
This stupid milk spider is preventing the dwarves from fighting, and they are being beat on by the marksdwarves. A mace lord gets shot in the head and dies while trying to free himself. A dwarf by the name of Escondida bled to death after encountering a goblin axe lord. What he was doing on the surface, I don't know.
This is quickly getting out of control. I order all civilians to take refuge in the queen's future rooms.
I notice a militia captain, one "snackfox," frolicking around on the surface "on break". He is going to be severely reprimanded should we survive this. I fear I may even have to relieve him and lock him up for desertion of duty. I'm also going to shove all milk spiders in a small hole far from any area where conflict is likely to arise. The siege wouldn't have been such a disaster had they not intervened.
A thief steals an artifact. Great.
The military is unable to move anywhere because the fucking milk spiders are trapping them with the webs. This is not one of my finest moments.
To be continued...