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[~Neri]

And that mindset, Zal, is why it seems like your characters are husks.

People roleplay to experience alternate lifetimes and other mindsets. It doesn't Matter if it's fictional. It's still a living, breathing creature to them. Try putting a mindless body with only a vague sense of direction that gets occasionally possessed by a negligent deity into real life. It won't accomplish anything besides causing one or two problems and it will be instantly forgettable. Apply that same idea to a fictional world of fleshed out and living, breathing creatures and toss in a husk. The husk at best will be avoided, as it truly isn't there. At worst it will cause problems and get put out of its misery.

Might as well watch you flippity floppers. While I am at it I will my most lazy "attempt" if you can even call it that to be apart of this beautious community. I feel like a creepy shop owner who follows you all on the adventures is the best way to go. LoL

I dislike it when people don't put effort into characters they make. When you make a character, you are creating life. If you feed it, it will grow. If you just make a husk and never feed it, it is a waste of both your time and the character's potential life.

But it is fictional.

Books. Read them, and you shall understand slightly better why a thing being fiction does not make that false. Don't get me wrong, I suck at this, but characters that grow or change - or show a different side - in stories are typically better than ones that unerringly stay the same the entire time.

Lyeos makes a very good point here.

[ZalkozDestbro]

I am creating a backstory and I am just lazy I know this isn't an excuse to think more about it but its my first reaction to creating something. I am altering it with some more feeling (If my brain even knows the meaning of feeling when it comes to RP characters)

[~Neri]

Think of it as a person instead of as a character.

[ZalkozDestbro]

Think of it as a person instead of as a character.

I am jeeeeeeeeeez. I don't have that thick of a skull.

Spoiler: Check it out (click to show/hide)

Sangril ever since he was young never knew his parents, he was just dropped off at an orphanage in a small town, in the next town over there was a knight academy which would soon be a place he could call home. In his early teens he trained non-stop with his fellow knight cadets. Until one day when he entered a trance and killed his comrade in a training exercise. At that time he was exiled from the academy with a brand on his face to show all what he has done. He was around 17 when he killed his comrade. A year after that he chose the path of the sellsword working for whoever had the coin. He has been in this work for years now. Now he is just going wherever fate feels he should be.

[Prophet]

Yay! :>

[ZalkozDestbro]

I should possibly change some of that shit for grammars sake.

[~Neri]

Think of it as a person instead of as a character.

I am jeeeeeeeeeez. I don't have that thick of a skull.

Spoiler: Check it out (click to show/hide)

Sangril ever since he was young never knew his parents, he was just dropped off at an orphanage in a small town, in the next town over there was a knight academy which would soon be a place he could call home. In his early teens he trained non-stop with his fellow knight cadets. Until one day when he entered a trance and killed his comrade in a training exercise. At that time he was exiled from the academy with a brand on his face to show all what he has done. He was around 17 when he killed his comrade. A year after that he chose the path of the sellsword working for whoever had the coin. He has been in this work for years now. Now he is just going wherever fate feels he should be.

Several odd logic jumps here:

How did he get into the knight academy? Historically speaking, knights are noblemen or attendants to noblemen, it wouldn't make much sense to allow a random orphan into a training facility for lowtier nobles. Would make more sense to be in the general city guard or army. Also accidents happened in medieval times, the training of troops often had a 7% or higher mortality rate among recruits due to training accidents or infected wounds. I'm also seeing a large number of timejumps. Why was he so interested in training? Nobody just focuses on something for the sake of focusing on it. It would get boring.

[Prophet]

Well their are some people who just enjoy training and work but I can see where your coming from with the noble thing considering that I love history. This is a game though so ? I don't know.

[ZalkozDestbro]

Think of it as a person instead of as a character.

I am jeeeeeeeeeez. I don't have that thick of a skull.

Spoiler: Check it out (click to show/hide)

Sangril ever since he was young never knew his parents, he was just dropped off at an orphanage in a small town, in the next town over there was a knight academy which would soon be a place he could call home. In his early teens he trained non-stop with his fellow knight cadets. Until one day when he entered a trance and killed his comrade in a training exercise. At that time he was exiled from the academy with a brand on his face to show all what he has done. He was around 17 when he killed his comrade. A year after that he chose the path of the sellsword working for whoever had the coin. He has been in this work for years now. Now he is just going wherever fate feels he should be.

Several odd logic jumps here:

How did he get into the knight academy? Historically speaking, knights are noblemen or attendants to noblemen, it wouldn't make much sense to allow a random orphan into a training facility for lowtier nobles. Would make more sense to be in the general city guard or army. Also accidents happened in medieval times, the training of troops often had a 7% or higher mortality rate among recruits due to training accidents or infected wounds. I'm also seeing a large number of timejumps. Why was he so interested in training? Nobody just focuses on something for the sake of focusing on it. It would get boring.

I hate you and your emphasis on details ;-; blegh sooooo much effort. But alright more details will be added. All for the sake of abnormality.

[Lyeos]

Just a note, is it not entirely possible that he was the son of a nobleman, and the academy knew this?
Perhaps a dead one, or one that told them to never reveal it to him?

[ZalkozDestbro]

Just a note, is it not entirely possible that he was the son of a nobleman, and the academy knew this?
Perhaps a dead one, or one that told them to never reveal it to him?

Pshhh, I worked this shit out in the alteration which I will post now.

Spoiler: Sangrils Shit (click to show/hide)

Name: Sangril Vulcarn
Gender: Male
Age: 21
Race: Sorta Human (Can be explained later)

Backstory: Sangril ever since he was young never knew his parents, he was just dropped off at an orphanage in a small town, in the next town over there was a knight academy which would soon be a place he could call home. The only reason he was able to enter was with the help of a childhood friend he met when playing near the well, apparently it was a noblemans son who snuck out of the manor seeking "honor and fame". The nobles son had an obsession with knighthood and honor bound oaths, this sort of rubbed off onto sangril. Early on in his acceptance to the academy he was ridiculed for not being of noble blood. Because of the ridicule from the other cadets his goal was to be better than all of them, to be stronger. In his early teens he trained non-stop with his only friend. Until one day when he entered a trance and killed him in a training exercise. At that time he was exiled from the academy and branded on his face to show all what he has done. He was around 17 when he killed his friend. A year after that he chose the path of the sellsword working for whoever had the coin. He has been in this work for years now. Now he is just going wherever fate feels he should be. He has been challenged to fight on multiple accounts, but usually it ended with one person beign bruised n battered and the other missing a limb.

Description: A tall (6'6") shrouded man. Though his features can be seen one must focus for a minute or two before being able to see him. He has soul piercing red eyes, rugged jawline, a scar in the form of an X going over his nose from being branded. These features are apart of his "Charm" in other words.

Personality: Serious most of the time. Every now and then he wont stare into your soul questioning your actions. If you require assistance he sees no problem with helping anyone. He wants to become the strongest swordsman in the world. But for now he is starting small aiming for the strongest swordsman in the country.

Combat Skills:
Swordsman: Has a talent for using swords as if he was born with a sword in his hand. +3 to sword attack rolls.
Intimidating: Do you really want to fuck someone who is 6'6"?

Combat Weaknesses:
Reckless: He puts more force into his swings than the average person so it is a little less likely to hit -1 to hit. (If that is even a thing)

Mundane Skills:
Sharp eyes: +2 to identifying far away objects.

Worn: He wears a black coat that goes down to his knees. He wears a grey sleeveless shirt underneath that, also wears black pants and black boots. He also has a scabbard on his right side to hold his sword.

Inventory: 1 Black Broadsword

Religion: Who needs em.

Strength: 20
Stamina: 18
Endurance: 16
Willpower: 8
Intelligence: 12
Charisma: 12
Dexterity:16
Agility:10
Luck: 10

[Prophet]

Yay! Your soul piercing gaze shall have no effect on me for I hath no soul! Yes I am making a evil face at the screen. :>

[ZalkozDestbro]

Yay! Your soul piercing gaze shall have no effect on me for I hath no soul! Yes I am making a evil face at the screen. :>

I am hakumen. The light and sword of justice. Hell hath no mercy for the likes of you. Also kev I would appreciate some feedback at your earliest convenience. I know it isn't your job and that you don't have to but I believe it is for the best to improve my creation of RP character/people.

[Lyeos]

Helluva lot better than what you began with.

Also, my character eats souls and has a gun.
Whatchu gonna do about it? 

[ZalkozDestbro]

Helluva lot better than what you began with.

Also, my character eats souls and has a gun.
Whatchu gonna do about it? 

Stab you in the control matrix or whatever is closest to your nervous system