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[Kagus]

Tonight I was given the opportunity to experience the wondrous "Gods of Egypt", with Gerard Butler, Geoffrey Rush, Nikolaj Coster-Waldau, and Rufus Sewell (among others).

For however bad it might look from the cover/synopsis... It is infinitely worse in its full glory. Oh my god(s).

[IronyOwl]

Tonight I was given the opportunity to experience the wondrous "Gods of Egypt", with Gerard Butler, Geoffrey Rush, Nikolaj Coster-Waldau, and Rufus Sewell (among others).

For however bad it might look from the cover/synopsis... It is infinitely worse in its full glory. Oh my god(s).

Hey, I liked that movie.

I'm not sure if that tells you more about me or the movie.

[itisnotlogical]

Instead Mario is gonna floss and do other Fortnite dances because that's what the fellow kids are into these days

A movie made for children includes things that children like? Tres surprise

[IronyOwl]

I'm at least confident that it won't be Richard-Simmons-CG-Sonic levels of bad.

Speaking of which, have any reviews for the Sonic movie started trickling out yet?  They made him less terrifying to look at but the movie still can't be good.

Apparently it's at 94% user approval on Rotten Tomatoes, which... has to be some kind of hardcore filter effect or trolling attempt, right?

Still, Jim Carrey as Robotnik is intriguing enough that I might go see it at some point. If so I'll report back on its full majesty.


The Alchemist (1981, there's gotta be more than one movie with that title) was thoroughly disappointing. From the title, poster, and time period I was expecting sword and sorcery. Instead it was a werewolf movie without any budget for a werewolf. They did have a budget for some demons though. Did you know that if you're being chased by demons, it's really not that big a deal? True story.

Mutant Hunt is a gloriously bad film about the worst mercenaries you have ever seen hunting the gooiest crackhead robots you have ever seen. Nobody knows what weapons are, but at least the villains are aware of the proper villain dress code. If nothing else, I guarantee the first proper fight scene is a fairly unique experience as action movies go.

[TamerVirus]

The Alchemist

Time Out called it a "spectacularly low-energy multi-pastiche"

SAD!

[Reelya]

I give you Robo Vampire. Godfrey Ho's version of RoboCop. I mean, this isn't even trying:

[Superdorf]

...man in robot suit versus Chinese hopping vampires.

Yes.

[IronyOwl]

I'm gonna need to start writing these down.

...have I seen that already?

I have! From the thumbnail of the guy lifting the white sheet I have successfully remembered that yes, this is that movie about hopping vampires and cocaine. I'm not sure I can add anything about it that you wouldn't have guessed from it being called Robo Vampire. Other than that it was not filmed in English, if that makes the blatant ripoff any more reasonable and the bunnypires any more normal.

[Eschar]

I saw Citizen Kane yesterday

[scriver]

Apparently the Sonic movie is doing ludicrously good

[Urist McScoopbeard]

Apparently the Sonic movie is doing ludicrously good

I loved it. I think it is a fantastic movie--however, it's humor isn't for everyone, and anyone who considers themselves "a very serious and critical moviegoer" might be offended by some of its more formulaic writing, but TBH it's an absolute treat and a much refreshing change from the historically drab (and downright awful) videogame-movie adaptations.

[NullForceOmega]

So, Sonic, I was honestly impressed with it.  Not amazing story or anything, but just plain fun to watch.

[TamerVirus]

Sonic watchers, would your opinion be any different if they used old abomination sonic instead of the redesign?

[Yoink]

Sonic watchers, would your opinion be any different if they used old abomination sonic instead of the redesign?

I haven't seen that, but I would have actually bothered going to see it if they'd used the OG look.   

[NullForceOmega]

Please clarify, do you mean original master/genesis era Sonic, 3D Sonic, anime Sonic, comic book Sonic, that horrific fucking monstrosity in the first advertisements for the movie, or something else?

Because I'd have watched with any of the "True to Sega designs" but there is no circumstance under which that hideous goddamned model they first advertised would have gotten my money.