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[IndigoFenix]

14th Galena, 102

I've been feeling unexplainably sluggish these past few days, almost as if the world itself was running slower.  Unsure if I was going crazy, I asked Doc if he noticed it.

"Ah, frame rate problems," he said, as if this was an explanation.  When I asked him to clarify, he began babbling in some kind of strange techno-tongue about the effects of large groups of moving objects in a small area causing the 'processor' to run slowly.  I gave up trying to understand, and simply asked him if there was anything he could do to fix it.  He said we should send some of our less useful members to go live in the wild.

"Exile?  For nothing?" I said, shocked at the thought.

"Of course not!  How could it be exile if they didn't do anything wrong?  It's just a long holiday!  Besides, the druids say that you can get some special merit for doing it."

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Using the workshop profile for the Nature Shrine, I selected a number of candidates and sent them on their way.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

20th Galena, 102

As the owl had foretold, the Humans showed up at our fortress for the first time, and a goblin ambush was not far behind.  Here was our opportunity to show the humans just what being a gnome meant!

We all ran inside and cheered from a safe distance.

They were doing well, until a goblin showed up riding Uko, War Nightmare, a mighty beast who began to strike at the humans left and right, turning the battle around.  Things looked grim until a wily druid had a sudden idea.  Running to the factory, he snatched a block from the moving equipment and swiftly constructed an indoor nature shrine.  He then grabbed one of our druidic tokens and raised it up above him, performing the ritual to tame all wild animals.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

The plan was a success.  Uko turned on her goblin master!

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

But the humans had already decided to leave and the enraged goblins swarmed together to attack their former warbeast with whips and arrows.  She fought well, but it soon became clear that she couldn't fight all of them.

Meph shot me a meaningful gaze, which is to say, he looked angry, as he always does.

"Oh, you've got to be kidding me," I said.  "Are we really going to put our lives on the line to rescue this hell-beast?"

"All living creatures are valuable, blah blah blah." Meph said.  "Besides, we outnumber them ten to one, and I want that horse."

"And here I was thinking you had started to take your role as a druid seriously."

We swarmed out of the mountain and charged the goblins.  We killed six of them, but we were too late to save Uko.

Ah, Uko, you brave, brave creature who was on our side for all of two minutes.  You will be missed.

[jaxy15]

RIP in peace Uko.

[Meph]

"Curses. Everytime I want to get a mighty creature to fight for me, they just die.... Mpff... Well, three times is a charm. Bring me that mammoth! I will call him Stompy."

"And tell that doc that breaking walls is bad manners."

[Comrade Shamrock]

Could someone please tell me how you sever a torso from its limbs and send it flying off in an arc with a single strike. Sorry but this happened when the kobold killed the craftsgnome.

[IndigoFenix]

Could someone please tell me how you sever a torso from its limbs and send it flying off in an arc with a single strike. Sorry but this happened when the kobold killed the craftsgnome.

Same way as with any limb - hit it hard enough with something big enough and sharp enough.  You rarely see bisection because most weapons aren't big enough to chop a person in half.

The fact that a kobold was able to bisect a gnome with a dagger should drive home just how tiny gnomes are.

[IndigoFenix]

16 Limestone, 102

The Factory has been upgraded again!  Now it will grind up our refuse and use it to decorate items of furniture as they are produced.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

12 Sandstone, 102

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Seems that someone hasn't been a very good parent lately.

This event was soon followed by a stream of several consecutive deaths as gnomes kept trying to retrieve the items or dead bodies left by the machine's last victim.  As I understand, this typically begins when someone's pet follows them into the machine room.  Although the factory input spaces are restricted, animals don't avoid the restricted spots.

There have been requests to make the factory floor safer, so I ordered the miners to dig holes under the machine output tiles.  Now, items will fall into them after being produced, where they can be safely picked up and carried to their appropriate stockpiles.  Now nobody needs to enter the factory room except when adjusting the machine's settings.

There's been some tantruming going on (no doubt triggered by the machine-related deaths) so I figured it was about time to carve out a new meeting hall to cheer everyone up.

5 Timber, 102

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

The new meeting hall has been completed.  The waterfall actually runs right through it (a grate has been constructed to prevent gnomes from falling in), so the room is filled with a pleasant mist.  The chairs are mostly decorated with shells and bones, most of which come from our enemies.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

I said, most of them.

[Comrade Shamrock]

Thanks Indigo for quick reply. Oh, can I be gnomed preferably someone expendable or if you need a nuts volunteer then I'm your gnome. Keep up the good work on the fort.

[IndigoFenix]

5 Moonstone, 102

Well, it seems that the new machine design isn't quite as safe as advertised.  A machine that continuously pumps out stone items and drops them straight into the area that they are picked up has a good chance of hitting an unfortunate gnome in the head.  Sometimes repeatedly.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

And for the especially unlucky, it could be fatal.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Our best druid, too.  It's still safer than it used to be.

I found a fire landmine lying around.  When did we get that?  Someone must have purchased it from the dwarves when they were here without telling me.  Probably Doc or Palu.

Also, Stompy, Meph's new mammoth, seems to have become overly attached to her cloak.  I've never seen that before.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

I have no idea how she manages to fit in those things.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

15 Obsidian, 102

"It's been far too quiet here," Tir was saying.  "We're almost into our fourth year, and so far, our biggest invasion was a band of sixteen goblins, which we didn't even actually fight.  Overall, we've lost more lives to that dreadful machine than we have to invaders."

I took another bite of my +striped bass croissants+ and chewed thoughtfully.  "Are you saying you WANT more invaders?"

"Me?  No!" she exclaimed, shaking her head vigorously.  "All I'm saying is, they're getting restless.  Meph and the other fighters have been training all day in the barracks - "

"For the lot of good it will do them, against enemies four times their size - "

" - and the smiths have been making all kinds of weapons and armor.  Then there's Palu, who's managed to produce some combat gadgets and has been itching to try them out.  He's made a gun that shoots lightning.  Lightning!  And he almost hit me with it, testing it out.  I tell you, he's dangerous.  To say nothing of that mad Doctor - "

"Listen, it's not going to do anyone any good if - "

I stopped.

Something had happened.  It wasn't really anything I could put my finger on.  More of a...subliminal effect.

"I know, I know.  You're thinking that as long as we have this wonderful dining room, and individual rooms with *engraved* walls, and marble doors -decorated- with shells in every hallway, nobody will bat an eyelash - "

"Wait."  I looked around.  Something was definately different.  I looked around.  The gnomes eating and talking at the marble and dolomite tables decorated with pond turtle shells and assorted bones, the detailed engravings on every wall, the various raccoons, snakes, chinchillas, and dogs coming in and out, the ancient golden statue, the mist from the waterfall flowing through the center of the room...

"What is it?  Is something wrong?"

"There's something..." I paused, staring at the mist.  Suddenly I looked down.  There was a bright copper clockwork cat sitting at my feet.  It tilted its head and mewed.

"Oh, you haven't met Tick-Tock Tabby yet?  Palu made him.  He said it would keep him company as he works."

"Ah," I said.  "Brilliant."

But I still felt uneasy.


18 Obsidian, 102

A Drow caravan pulled in this morning, a shuffling band of tall, cloaked figures pulled along by a team of giant spiders.  For some reason, they made me think of Stras, the druid, who pulled me along on this expedition to Clawedgears in the first place.  I hardly knew him before he died, and yet, he is my entire reason for coming here.

I'm still not really sure why I came in the first place.  Was it really to 'show the world' what gnomes could do, as Stras said?  Or did I have a reason of my own?  Perhaps I was simply bored of safety - and yet, everything I do is in the name of making Clawedgears a safe place to live.  Are there really gnomes who disagree with me?  Do the warriors fight to make others safe, or do they fight because they crave battle?
Tir was worried that the restless gnomes might try to sabatoge the defenses, or even start a war.  I couldn't believe it.  Would anyone really put themselves into danger for no good reason?

Would they?


21 Obsidian, 102

The Drow have always made me nervous, to be honest.  Even the kindest of the Big People can be frightening to a gnome, and these tall, swarthy creatures are hardly the kindest.  I was trying to slip into the mountainhome unseen when the leader of the caravan, a female named Lerune, beckoned for me with one dark finger.  I shuffled over.

"You are their leader," she said in a tone that was half a question, half mockery.

"Well," I began, "we all kind of do our own thing here, but I am the one who makes the final decision whenever there's a dispute, although for the most part -"

"Silence." she said imperiously.  "We have been watching you and your kind.  You have been toying with forces beyond your comprehension."

"Oh, is that so?  I mean, some of the tinkerers like to play around with electricity, but for the most part I think they know what they're doing, even though we've had the occasional accident and it isn't - yipe!" I yelped as she seized my beard with a swift, spider-like motion and forced my head upwards.  This was really not going my way.

"Look at the sun!" she commanded.

"Ah," I said, doing as she asked.  "Um, it's bright, and you don't like it, which is why you wear those cloaks, and I apologize for not setting up the trade depot inside but the elves prefer it - oops," I said, momentarially forgetting that Drow and Elves were rarely on good terms.  Fortunately, she ignored me completely.

"It has been daylight for far too long for this time of the year," she whispered.

"Ah, um," I muttered, not really sure how to respond.  "Er, would you prefer to come in?  We, er, have a room filled with spiders.  Perhaps you would feel more at home underground - "

"I have no interest in entering your filthy little hole," the Drow said.  "I only wish to warn you that you are meddling with dark powers you cannot hope to control.  Cease, before you doom us all."

Wait.  This wasn't about setting the depot up outside at all.  There was something else on her mind.

Was she...

Was she actually afraid of us?


8 Granite, 103

We have had an unusually productive few weeks.

Not only did we complete a new room for our ever-demanding mayor what's-her-name, but we managed to create the infrastructure for an entirely new set of defenses, or so the Doc claims.  Palu's invented some kind of steam-powered armor, which hopefully will perform as expected.  It's almost as if we've been moving faster, or the days have been getting longer.

Is that crazy?  It sounds crazy.

Anyway, I was fishing by the river when I saw a pile of logs go flying through the air on the other side.  A few moments later, the Doc (who else) stuck his head out of a nearby building and waved to me.  "Did you see that?" he called excitedly.  "Customized auto-weight-adjusting automated launching device.  Rotation angle 270, launch angle 10, power at 200.  Slid along the ground for the most part, didn't it?"

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

"I think so," I shouted back.

"Ah, well, the better to hit goblins with it.  If we were looking for transport purposes, I'd make the angle higher.  Could probably send these logs halfway across the map like that."

"So it's a catapult?"

"More or less.  I was thinking of loading it up with some of those fire landmines the dwarves make, but I think the fire would burn the power train.  Going to have to go with launching random crap instead."

"So basically...it's a crap-apult?"

"That was terrible, and you know it.  Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go drill a hole right up there.  When this thing is done, we'll be able to load it up and control it from inside the fort.  I'd like to see those goblins get through that!"

"Next thing you know, you're going to find a way to launch goblins into other goblins."

"That is needlessly cruel and ironic.  Don't tempt me!  Now, there's something I have to check up on."


--- Later, deep underground ---

"What the digging Fun is that thing?"

"Language!  Now, I'm going to need you to do something for me.  Shamrock, was it?  I need you to check the power indicator.  It's right in the center of the Omega Gate."

"Omega Gate?"

"Yes, even though it's technically more of a gear.  It's only half complete, I'm afraid.  I've finally got the Warpstone, but unfortunately I need more gems for the secondary flux capacitor before I can set up the Alpha Gate.  And a switching transistor to deal with the whole proximity cancellation problem.  Enough!  I'm getting ahead of myself again.  Anyway, first off, you're going to have to reverse the polarity -"

"Reverse the polarity?  What are you going on about?"

"It's a little dial next to the power readout.  Just twist it around so it faces counter-clockwise.  I'd do it myself, but I set up the control levers all the way over here.  Silly me!  I'd forget my head if it wasn't nailed on.  Now go ahead, tell me what it says."

"Uh, okay.  Is it safe?  I don't want to wind up like -"

"Don't worry!  It's perfectly safe, just don't stick your hand into the little black hole on the bottom, that'll suck you into the twelth dimension and retroactively erase you from history.  Nasty business.  All right, I'm pulling the lever now.  Wait!  Is the polarity reversed?"

"Uh, I think so?  I turned the dial to the left."

"Excellent!  Okay, here we go!  Now, what's it say?"

"It says, er, 341.370213..."

"That'll be enough!  All right, operating in reverse at about one-third maximum loop capacity.  Should be stable enough.  I'll have to cut power to the Factory, I suppose, or else make a lot more water wheels.  How much power does the machine output again?"

"Uh, I think between 3000 and 4000?"

"Sounds about right.  The Factory has six machines, plus the generator, plus the Omega Gate... so it's being divided up by around eight, plus the machinery itself.  It's still not nearly enough for proper acceleration, even if all the power is directed into the Alpha Gate.  We're going to need more water wheels either way."

"Er, okay?"

"And then there's the whole event cascade problem...but we'll burn that bridge when we come to it!  I'll tell you this much, though, when this baby reaches 10000 power, you're going to see some serious -"

"Um, Doc, can I go now?"

"Eh?  Oh, right, you.  Go on, up you go, bye bye, don't be a stranger, have fun, now where was I..."

[HooliganintheFort]

Is it just me thinking Doc is a crazed mad scientist?

Those Drow though.. I would stay clear of them if I were you. Maybe trap them somewhere and use them for target practice for you convict gnomes. (Military)

[IndigoFenix]

Is it just me thinking Doc is a crazed mad scientist?

Nope! 

I hope I've been playing the character well.  There was always going to be a mad scientist with a major role in this fort so I've kind of abducted the most suitable player.  Hope Bob doesn't mind

[Comrade Shamrock]

Thanks Indigo for gnoming me. 

And I think you are both alone in thinking that Doc is a mad scientist. I think he is a genius with an intellect so incomprehensibly vast that we cannot understand. He is a visionary not a madman. 

[Meph]

He is totally cheating. Sending himself notes from the future. Everyone can build crazy tech when done that way.

And firemines + areal transportation device = Want to see.

[HooliganintheFort]

Is it just me thinking Doc is a crazed mad scientist?

Nope! 

I hope I've been playing the character well.  There was always going to be a mad scientist with a major role in this fort so I've kind of abducted the most suitable player.  Hope Bob doesn't mind

Nah, you've been playing him great!

[Timeless Bob]

I hope I've been playing the character well.  There was always going to be a mad scientist with a major role in this fort so I've kind of abducted the most suitable player.  Hope Bob doesn't mind

Yes! I was madly chuckling right along with the Doc - you have him down perfectly!  Please continue!
(I especially am liking all the fore-shadowing from the subliminal change to the Drow getting all uneasy, to the little notes... good stuff.  Incidentally, do you recognize the symbolism in this picture?

I'll be leaving it here and adopting the Doc's picture instead as my new avatar - it fits well.

[HooliganintheFort]

Any updates?