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Author Topic: A public response to a PM (and an autobiography of sorts)  (Read 2299 times)

acetech09

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A public response to a PM (and an autobiography of sorts)
« on: May 28, 2014, 01:07:27 am »

Foreword: I'll probably regret this later. This started out as a paragraph but I'm tired as fuck and ranting a bit. Feels good to get this off my chest, anyhow.

So here I am, sitting at my laptop after a testing day of work, in the middle of an existential moment, when I get an email. It's a PM from a concerned member of b12, containing an admirably coherent calm-rant on his feelings toward some of my posts. Specifically, how most of my posts seem to be about cars, money, good relationships, work, and other things which many people on this forum sadly are struggling with. The member (who I will not name) was concerned that some of those posts would harbor bad feelings among 'less-privileged' members, and admitted to sometimes being made uncomfortable himself. The tl;dr was, in essence, 'This isn't a forum to brag about shit on.'

First off, if I have offended anyone or otherwise caused discomfort, I sincerely apologize. At no point was it my intention. Let's just make that clear.


Second, I have problems like anyone else. I could talk about how I have to deal with depression, bipolar, aspergers, the lot. I could talk about how I tried to kill myself on numerous occasions. I could talk about how I still struggle with that, and how a close friend probably saved my life last week. I have a happy and fulfilling relationship, which is a touchy subject here, but that's after having my former partner pass away suddenly a few years ago, which I couldn't cry about because I had to hide that relationship from nearly everyone.

I don't talk about those things because, well, it makes me feel bad. That's also why I don't deliver much advice on issues which I'm very familiar with. I don't think I have anything good to say, because I have pretty unique outlooks on basically everything, which typically don't help more conventional mindsets.


Third and last, here's some other stuff that you probably don't care about, but provides insight into, well, me.

You see a teapot, I see arranged pieces of stamped and cold-formed 14 gauge A2 Stainless steel, folded and welded in certain places to make an object capable of storing and dispensing fluids at high temperatures. I guess you could call me materialistic, but that's more a product of my extreme mechanical inclination. That's why I like making and fixing things. And that leaks out into my posts, I guess. But that's my life. I really can't help it.

I graduated from high school with an acceptance letters from some very prestigious universities. My grades and GPA were never great but I had other things going for me. I turned them down, because I simply couldn't stand sitting and doing nothing for four years. I take life as it comes, not knowing how much of it I have left. I'm living comfortably enough not by riding some college degree, but being smart and working my ass off. Doing anything from restoring and selling old cars, to working as a machinist, and even MC'ing some events at this year's local Maker Faire. It's not easy. After taking a shower every day, I feel like I just survived some strange greasy bar fight where everything was doused in motor oil and wielding ballpoint pens with a little nub of sandpaper on the other end. I love every minute of it, though.

So, welp, I think that's it. Venting is done.

Back to rebuilding a carburetor.
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LordSlowpoke

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Re: A public response to a PM (and an autobiography of sorts)
« Reply #1 on: May 28, 2014, 01:15:40 am »

The tl;dr was, in essence, 'This isn't a forum to brag about shit on.'

someone seriously did that?

* LordSlowpoke moves to grab torch and pitchfork but hesitates

you know what, fuck that. they must be a very sad person to tell someone who didn't even rub it in on purpose to stop.

which means i'm justified in doing so previously, because these people have indeed rubbed it in on purpose, don't think you were forgotten

hiding things is perfectly fine - after all, b12 isn't an interrogation room - in fact most things that would merit posts in the sad threads i omit because fuck no i'm not even going to explain, and i appreciate that you can tell us about the good things at least. i'd say please continue, but given that the someone wished to keep their anonymity i'm going to wait for consensus
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Willfor

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Re: A public response to a PM (and an autobiography of sorts)
« Reply #2 on: May 28, 2014, 01:24:40 am »

I'm going to agree with LordSlowpoke. (what????)

I don't think you should feel bad about talking about the things you want to talk about, whether you are focusing on the good or the bad most of the time.

I am glad that you decided to keep the poster's name anonymouse because generally PMs are kept out of sight for a reason, but I do disagree entirely with what this poster said to you.
« Last Edit: May 28, 2014, 01:35:49 am by Willfor »
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Yoink

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Re: A public response to a PM (and an autobiography of sorts)
« Reply #3 on: May 28, 2014, 01:30:53 am »

Yeah, that's just bizarre. Would they rather every Bay12er was a depressed, penniless sort with no sense of agency, just struggling to get by with all their problems? I'm glad to hear that some people are actually doing well. I definitely have no problem with success stories, as long as they aren't aimed at belittling anyone else.
Good on you for not naming them, by the way.
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Vector

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Re: A public response to a PM (and an autobiography of sorts)
« Reply #4 on: May 28, 2014, 01:48:28 am »

.
« Last Edit: April 22, 2018, 11:10:06 am by Vector »
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Sirus

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Re: A public response to a PM (and an autobiography of sorts)
« Reply #5 on: May 28, 2014, 01:51:39 am »

That's...bizarre. Sorry Mr/Mrs Anonymous Messenger, but there's no reason not to be happy about success/sheer dumb luck so long as you're not making fun of the less-fortunate in the process.
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Flying Dice

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Re: A public response to a PM (and an autobiography of sorts)
« Reply #6 on: May 28, 2014, 05:50:41 am »

I suppose I've got to clamber up onto the what-wagon for this one. It's pretty screwed up to complain to someone because they're happy about how parts of their life are going--understandable, given a certain mindset, but still not very nice. :/
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acetech09

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Re: A public response to a PM (and an autobiography of sorts)
« Reply #7 on: May 28, 2014, 09:40:17 am »

Phew. I was worried I'd get flamed like hell for posting that, for whatever reason.

Thanks for the reassurance, guys.
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Tiruin

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Re: A public response to a PM (and an autobiography of sorts)
« Reply #8 on: May 28, 2014, 09:55:50 am »

o_o

Well the idea is right. This isn't a forum to brag about...[shit].
But being happy because of what you have and what you're blessed with doesn't...even remotely seem to be connected to said [shit]...or bragging.

If you haven't hurt anyone in the process (by which I mean directly and/or being insensitive), then it goes with that idea.

...I really don't see that unless you left it out. :p
Granted, the concern is understandable, but...well, I'm in such a position (ie Less priviledged//bad situation in general) and I'm totally ok with others being happy about what they have.
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Tiruin

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Re: A public response to a PM (and an autobiography of sorts)
« Reply #9 on: May 28, 2014, 10:03:34 am »

I guess its a case of devil in the details? Maybe its how he worded it that made it seem offensive or possible to misinterpret it as bragging.

Though for that anonymous person, thanks for being nice on that :D
...
You should've emailed them back also. :)
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DJ

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Re: A public response to a PM (and an autobiography of sorts)
« Reply #10 on: May 28, 2014, 10:10:49 am »

Whoever sent you that PM should stay away from the happy thread, it's an aneurysm hazard.
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GlyphGryph

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Re: A public response to a PM (and an autobiography of sorts)
« Reply #11 on: May 28, 2014, 12:17:51 pm »

Considering things ever go well for me and everything about my life ever is pretty awesome, from my current point of view, I am extremely upset that I myself have not managed to get one of these PMs.

It is an outrage. How good does my life even need to be before I get envious posters sending me PMs about how I shouldn't rub in how good I have it? Hell, acetech09 even seems to have perfectly valid problems, problems being a thing I have none of, and he still gets a message like this?

Maybe... maybe my life isn't as good as I thought it was? T_T

Thanks anonymous messenger, you have shattered my confidence in how awesome the life I lead is. I hope you are happy.

Edit: Thanks guys, I really appreciate it! :D
« Last Edit: May 28, 2014, 12:22:55 pm by GlyphGryph »
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Bauglir

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Re: A public response to a PM (and an autobiography of sorts)
« Reply #12 on: May 28, 2014, 12:59:25 pm »

Man, calling other people out for having nice things is kinda dickish. I mean, yes, it sucks to not have nice things, but that's not on the person who has them (unless they stole them, which, y'know, not really relevant).
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Morrigi

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Re: A public response to a PM (and an autobiography of sorts)
« Reply #13 on: May 28, 2014, 01:08:13 pm »

Hey, guess what? I want a nice car and my own house! Guess what? I can't afford either!

But I'm absolutely not going to be a dick to people who can, just because I don't have the life that they do. OP, be happy with what you've got.
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Tiruin

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Re: A public response to a PM (and an autobiography of sorts)
« Reply #14 on: May 28, 2014, 01:17:36 pm »

I see how far this could be misinterpreted...

Meaning: ...I don't think OP was being called out for being [those words which convey really bad negativity or boasting because of material gain and lording it over others] but rather the interpretation of such (and his wording)

Though the tl;dr may sum it up, I guess I'm confused a bit on how people use...'shit'. It's somehow becoming a common term for everything [Like...a generality for {stuff that I don't pay mind to a lot}]...as my limited experience sees it >.>

Though I also don't understand how someone would be hurt by someone saying they're happy.[See: Whatwagon], but I'm also unsure of the context. Was this the happy thread? seems to be a question of importance.

Maybe its your wording that got 'em, acetech? Provocative perhaps?
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