...
Take all the Phoenix's Down!
[15]You pluck the Phoenix of feathers. As far as you can remember, Phoenix Downs only work when the Phoenix is still alive, though.
Tell her that some asshole stole it to summon the demons, as part of a terrorist attack.
[3]"I refuse to believe that some stupid terrorist could do that, you're obviously the only person around who could summon demons. Yes, the demon-summoner is here, please send a squad or something." You hear sirens in the distance.
Bite the chainsaw in half with your teeth.
[3]You try to bite the chainsaw, but it instead gives you a Glasgow Smile. Ow.
Reenter the Best Porcupine Contest.
[1]The contest has already ended. You also get run over by a police car while you were crossing the street. You drop the leash, and Lord Poke All of You wanders off.
Look at panel and try to correct any malfunction that happened.
[20]Nothing seems to be wrong, but you pull a lever, snapping it in the process, and the pumps accelerate a lot. By the sound, you'd guess the water pressure is rending the pipes.
Upon waking up, check the wide variety of weapons under my bed and go hunting for mythical creatures. Kill all I come across. Wizards count as mythical beasts.
[16]You decide to go all Van Helsing today and grab the crossbow, the silvered bolts, the silvered dagger, the crucifix, a sprig of wolfsbane and some holy water. You go out, and immediately notice a sketchy fellow. Who, who is not a vampire, would wear a black leather trenchcoat? Nobody, that's who.
Wait.....
It doesn't take long until tentacles burst from your mouth, your skull explodes, and the rest of your brain is eaten by the larva. Respawn?
Drop the rocket on them.
[10]The rocket is too far away, but you instead drop another container of carp on them. In a comedic moment, a third Ghostbuster squad notices you and runs under a carp container in this needlessly long gag.
Hah, to think the boy believes this wheelchair will limit me. So amusing are these men of limited vision!
Grab the robotic exoskeleton out of the prototype room, as well as some fireproof nets (we will need to capture a breeding pair). Suit up.
[5]The exoskeleton needs you to move your legs to move. It won't work.
Get one of my chauffeur to drive me to the closest hospital
[16]You think you notice your chauffeur drinking from a can he throws away as he notices you, but you tell him to get you to the hospital anyway. You get in the car and your chauffeur starts driving.
Protip: Avoid cars. As far as I remember, nobody has had a successful trip without crashing with a car yet.
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Topic: (Min. RtD) The Return of Reasonability (Read 92479 times)