Respawn!!!!!!!
Run outside to get the newspaper
[3]You commit suicide. You wake up. Your home is missing its roof. You go grab the newspaper, just as you see your roof being wielded as a bludgeon by a gigantic demon.
Find a wizard.
[4]You find a guru instead. Oh, and it's the programmer kind of guru, not the religious kind. Bummer.
Jack out, blow the matrix to hell with nukes.
You're going to need a) someone to jack you out, and b) a ton of nukes. You have neither of those.
It's a magic! Hit the power-hugry poketwo into head with the remote!
[8]You bonk him gently on the head, causing the button to be pressed again and you two to be 'ported again.
Gross them out with my insane amounts of blood.
[10]"What're you gonna do? Bleed on me?" You do just that, in an extremely squicky fashion. Two of them take a few steps back to vomit, but the last one keeps stabbing. You really need a medic right now.
Run over demon, and then shoot it.
[12]By stroke of luck, many of the demons are exhausted form the constant flying and land in a perfect line in front of you. You run over and blast each of them. There are quite few demons left, though the giant keeps summoning more.
Tell the Phoenix that it's a mythical creature and does not exist.
[15]The phoenix lands in front of you. "
You call me mythical? As in one stories are told about? That's great! Did you invade my domain just to tell me this?"
"Well, do we have any actors on tap? It's a dark room, so they really just need to sound scary."
"If not I can try some good old-fashioned demon summoning, but I really don't want to delay the test more than I already have."
[14]A bunch of your coworkers declare themselves good actors and go in the testing room. They make very hammy "scary" noises. The subject hasn't entered yet, though.