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Author Topic: Bizarre Magical Items  (Read 86642 times)

Rethi-Eli

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Re: Silly/Useless Magical Items
« Reply #315 on: September 24, 2017, 09:03:13 pm »

Wand of Confetti: Can be used once per day to create a burst of confetti at a target of the caster's choosing.

Wand of De-Frogification: Removes all curses that turn target into an amphibian.

Cat Lady's Staff: A staff covered in cat hair and marred with claw marks. When casting a spell with it, all nearby felines gain 1 HP.

Scroll of Minor Monetary Gain: 7th level spell. When cast, conjures 1 copper piece.

Turn Dead: Repels and damages all nearby non-reanimated corpses.

Circlet of Mediocrity: The wearer always rolls a 10 for 20-sided die rolls.
This is an incredibly good item in, say, D&D 3.5. Some prestige classes even have class features that let you "Take 10" on specific skills as significant class features. It keeps you from auto-failing saving throws on a 1, and lets you achieve a 100% success rate with UMD on certain items 9 skill ranks/bonuses earlier than you would normally.

It could also serve as a way to "weigh" dice in gambling scenarios (or if you ran a die-repair/purchase/selling service), although you'd likely be accused of throwing dice in an improper manner if you did so.

I never stated that it's useless - it's silly, though.
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ATHATH

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Re: Silly/Useless Magical Items
« Reply #316 on: September 24, 2017, 10:21:16 pm »

Cat Lady's Staff: A staff covered in cat hair and marred with claw marks. When casting a spell with it, all nearby felines gain 1 HP.
Do you mean "gain" or "regain"? If the former, with enough time and spells, you could create an army of uber-cats with thousands of HP each.
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hops

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Re: Silly/Useless Magical Items
« Reply #317 on: September 24, 2017, 10:41:23 pm »

The world's most boring supervillain
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Paxiecrunchle

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Re: Silly/Useless Magical Items
« Reply #318 on: September 24, 2017, 11:58:07 pm »

Scroll of Dysmon. A scroll that gives the reader the cure to all diseases, but can only be read by someone without a disease.

Sounds incredibly useful, but what would be counted as a disease here? Like if I had a single pimple, would that be counted as a disease?

wierd

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Re: Silly/Useless Magical Items
« Reply #319 on: September 25, 2017, 12:01:41 am »

Some D&D abilities (like psion/wilder empathic transfer) can take in a disease or affliction from another willing person, to heal that person. If used with this spell, (start recitation of the scroll, satisfying the "needs to be healthy" requirement, then before the recitation ends, use the ability just as you are finishing) then this could get rid of some SERIOUS shit. :)
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GiglameshDespair

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Re: Silly/Useless Magical Items
« Reply #320 on: September 25, 2017, 06:43:24 am »

Or, quite possibly, as soon as the disease transfers the person is no longer able to read it so the spell fails partway through.
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wierd

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Re: Silly/Useless Magical Items
« Reply #321 on: September 25, 2017, 06:52:12 am »

The magic of the deferred action.  Trigger: "Just as the scroll fires"
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Ozarck

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Re: Silly/Useless Magical Items
« Reply #322 on: September 25, 2017, 07:52:21 am »

Ring of good luck

When in a dangerous or stressful situation this ring tells you "good luck".
Now that is a good item. I award you the "Gee, Thanks, that was silly and useless" badge. Void where prohibited.

Wand of Confetti: Can be used once per day to create a burst of confetti at a target of the caster's choosing.

Wand of De-Frogification: Removes all curses that turn target into an amphibian.

Cat Lady's Staff: A staff covered in cat hair and marred with claw marks. When casting a spell with it, all nearby felines gain 1 HP.

Turn Dead: Repels and damages all nearby non-reanimated corpses.
Nice. My favorite in this list is the cat lady staff.

I think the minor monetary gain should give a range of wealth, say 1d4+2 copper, or something, instead of a simple one copper. But, eh, you do you :P

Cat Lady's Staff: A staff covered in cat hair and marred with claw marks. When casting a spell with it, all nearby felines gain 1 HP.
Do you mean "gain" or "regain"? If the former, with enough time and spells, you could create an army of uber-cats with thousands of HP each.
Proof positive that "Silly" and "harmless" are not the same thing.

Paxiecrunchle

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Re: Silly/Useless Magical Items
« Reply #323 on: September 25, 2017, 08:08:09 am »

Goggles of invisibility, this pair of invisible googles renders anyone the user is looking not only invisible but completely undetectable to them while within their line of sight, cannot be removed by non magical means. convinces the use that they are in fact invisible while being worn.

Comes in Teal, Amber, Lavender and Crimson, not that you'd be able to tell of course
« Last Edit: September 25, 2017, 08:18:09 am by Paxiecrunchle »
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overseer05-15

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Re: Silly/Useless Magical Items
« Reply #324 on: September 25, 2017, 08:17:26 am »

Lockpick: a greataxe that convinces its wielder that it is a lockpick, and whenever it is used as such the wielder is shown the illusion of stealthy lockpicking but in reality loudly hacks the door/chest/etc. with the axe.
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Paxiecrunchle

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Re: Silly/Useless Magical Items
« Reply #325 on: September 25, 2017, 08:21:31 am »

Lockpick: a greataxe that convinces its wielder that it is a lockpick, and whenever it is used as such the wielder is shown the illusion of stealthy lockpicking but in reality loudly hacks the door/chest/etc. with the axe.

Our items should be offered together at a discount for the discerning ninja/spymaster,catburgler.

What could possibly go wrong?

FallacyofUrist

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Re: Silly/Useless Magical Items
« Reply #326 on: September 25, 2017, 08:26:13 am »

Aetherfarm: This miraculous greenhouse can produce any fruit, vegetable, or plant the user can think of(provided the plant actually exists)! Side effects include gradual cat splicing, much to the dismay of the original owners.
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NAV

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Re: Silly/Useless Magical Items
« Reply #327 on: September 25, 2017, 09:02:01 am »

Goggles of invisibility, this pair of invisible googles renders anyone the user is looking not only invisible but completely undetectable to them while within their line of sight, cannot be removed by non magical means. convinces the use that they are in fact invisible while being worn.

Comes in Teal, Amber, Lavender and Crimson, not that you'd be able to tell of course
Perfect for ignoring annoying people!
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Paxiecrunchle

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Re: Silly/Useless Magical Items
« Reply #328 on: September 25, 2017, 09:35:44 am »

Goggles of invisibility, this pair of invisible googles renders anyone the user is looking not only invisible but completely undetectable to them while within their line of sight, cannot be removed by non magical means. convinces the use that they are in fact invisible while being worn.

Comes in Teal, Amber, Lavender and Crimson, not that you'd be able to tell of course
Perfect for ignoring annoying people!

Or leaving yourself  almost completely vunerable to them.

Egan_BW

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Re: Silly/Useless Magical Items
« Reply #329 on: September 25, 2017, 10:51:32 am »

Oz's Ring

This ring makes all the loot you find while wearing it legendary artifacts! Cursed to not do exactly what they're supposed to do.
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