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[Empiricist]

Flask of Euthanasia: "Cures" all mortal ailments.

[hops]

Everything is useful if you use it correctly. The point, however, is that it should be harder to usefully utilize these items.

Thyme - A mystical herb that heals all wounds^{_{Except it doesn't.}}

[Parsely]

Thyme - A mystical herb that heals all wounds.

FTFY. Joke is better that way.

[Squeegy]

Everything is useful if you use it correctly. The point, however, is that it should be harder to usefully utilize these items.

Thyme - A mystical herb that heals all wounds. Except it doesn't.

No one can foresee all uses. For instance, thyme is actually a medicinal herb. Its oil contains a strong antiseptic, the chemical used widely in modern mouthwash. It used to be used to medicate bandages, and thyme tea can treat coughs.

[Lyeos]

No one can foresee all uses. For instance, thyme is actually a medicinal herb. Its oil contains a strong antiseptic, the chemical used widely in modern mouthwash. It used to be used to medicate bandages, and thyme tea can treat coughs.

I think you're missing the joke...

[hops]

Everything is useful if you use it correctly. The point, however, is that it should be harder to usefully utilize these items.

Thyme - A mystical herb that heals all wounds. Except it doesn't.

No one can foresee all uses. For instance, thyme is actually a medicinal herb. Its oil contains a strong antiseptic, the chemical used widely in modern mouthwash. It used to be used to medicate bandages, and thyme tea can treat coughs.

Rumors said that a warlord from a distant land, Josef Steelman, once managed to build trains that run on them.

[Squeegy]

No one can foresee all uses. For instance, thyme is actually a medicinal herb. Its oil contains a strong antiseptic, the chemical used widely in modern mouthwash. It used to be used to medicate bandages, and thyme tea can treat coughs.

I think you're missing the joke...

No, I got the joke. The point is to be obstinate and nitpick to demonstrate that being obstinate and nitpicking is unpleasant, so don't do it. Also I like medieval herbs.

[Lyeos]

Ring of Arrogance - Makes the wearer believe that what they're saying is right, regardless of what others tell them. The effect grows stronger the farther(further?) from the truth their words become.

[Squeegy]

Ring of Arrogance - Makes the wearer believe that what they're saying is right, regardless of what others tell them. The effect grows stronger the farther(further?) from the truth their words become.

Further.

Ring of Passive-Aggression - When worn, a curse is placed on the user that prevents them from directly saying anything they feel. Instead, they must hide their opinions behind euphemisms and sarcasm.
Liquidproof Paper - This piece of writing parchment is completely liquidproof. Nothing liquid can soak into it, it simply slides off.

e: "Wow, this ring is great."
"Really? Can I see?"
"Sure, buddy. You're gonna love it."
"Wow, you're totally right. Thanks a bunch."

[Arcvasti]

Invisibility Cloak: The cloak is invisible. And by that I mean transparent.

Potable Hole: You can drink it.

Robe of Nostrils: Lets you smell really well in all directions at once. It lets you take in all the lovely odours of the sparkly clean medieval cities and ancient dungeons.

Flaming Sword: Yeah, both ends of the sword are on fire.

Boots of Autonomous Levitation: They float into the air without even needing someone to wear them first.

Kneepads of Arrow Deflection: Mandatory for all discerning adventurers.

Ring of Slipperyness: Is really slippery.

[Parsely]

Cap of WHAT?!: User's hearing becomes insanely sharp. All conversation is reduced to a whisper.

[hops]

Invisibility Cloak: The cloak is invisible. And by that I mean transparent.

That gives me an idea....

Cloak of Wearer Invisibility - A bright red, glowing cloak that make those who wear it become invisible. The cloak still can be seen, though.

Sword of Destruction - A sword that disintegrates everything it touches. It is believed to be lost after falling into the center of the world as it tunneled through the ground, through the Tarrasque's body (the Tarrasque was too powerful to be killed by having a hole through its body and promptly healed), and into the molten core where it melted.

Potion of Self-Revival - A potion that revives the drinker if the drinker made a conscious action to drink it after they die. Does not work on undead creatures.

[Squeegy]

Potion of Self-Reliance - Makes the drinker confident they don't need others' help.

[scapheap]

Potion of cure thirst

[~Neri]

Bread of +0 Fullness. (Basically does what normal bread does.)

Ring of Illusory Wood. (It's a ring that looks and feels like wood but in reality is metal.)