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Author Topic: Bizarre Magical Items  (Read 85918 times)

Khan Boyzitbig

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Re: Silly/Useless Magical Items
« Reply #360 on: September 28, 2017, 10:01:33 am »

Scroll of Suddenly Starlings
When invoked, summons a massive flock of starlings centred on the users head.

Book of Blood
To the casual observer this appears to be a normal book about blood and its use and problems for medical purposes. When read it becomes obvious that the book is made of congealed blood and can also bleed.

Hammer of Bleating
A hammer which bleats when it hits something, if the target is sentient it will attempt to transform them into a sheep. When used on a sheep it creates an eldritch horror.
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////;::;\\\\ Scuttle Scuttle...

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Luminous Bolt of Bacon
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Puppyguard

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Re: Silly/Useless Magical Items
« Reply #361 on: September 28, 2017, 01:13:55 pm »

Scroll of Remove Curse: A magical scroll that removes the ability to swear from a target. After one use, the scroll crumbles.
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Egan_BW

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Re: Silly/Useless Magical Items
« Reply #362 on: September 28, 2017, 01:16:53 pm »

Sproing Hammer

A normal small metal warhammer, except it acts like it's made of very elastic rubber when in contact with inorganic matter, and like a rigid hammer on contact with flesh.
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Rethi-Eli

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Re: Silly/Useless Magical Items
« Reply #363 on: September 28, 2017, 05:52:01 pm »

Magical Swear Jar: Deducts 1 copper from holder's inventory if they curse. Money removed goes into jar, which is indestructible. Jar can be emptied by holder's parents.

Flopwop: A fuzzy tube that occasionally squeaks. It feeds on small rodents and is a threat to snakes near and far.
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In the end, the winner is the one with the most snake venom.

VoidSlayer

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Re: Silly/Useless Magical Items
« Reply #364 on: September 28, 2017, 05:57:41 pm »


Flopwop: A fuzzy tube that occasionally squeaks. It feeds on small rodents and is a threat to snakes near and far.

User note: Do not put your finger inside.

hops

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Re: Silly/Useless Magical Items
« Reply #365 on: September 28, 2017, 06:40:52 pm »

Sproing Hammer

A normal small metal warhammer, except it acts like it's made of very elastic rubber when in contact with inorganic matter, and like a rigid hammer on contact with flesh.
Sounds like it'd be great for minimizing collateral damage, though armor would hamper it a lot.
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NAV

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Re: Silly/Useless Magical Items
« Reply #366 on: September 28, 2017, 06:47:21 pm »

That's the mimic checking hammer. If you suspect something's a mimic hit it with the hammer. If it's not a mimic the hammer bounces off harmlessly.
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hops

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Re: Silly/Useless Magical Items
« Reply #367 on: September 28, 2017, 06:55:23 pm »

That's the mimic checking hammer. If you suspect something's a mimic hit it with the hammer. If it's not a mimic the hammer bounces off harmlessly.
I'm pretty sure if you're close enough to check then it would already spring up on you.

I guess you could turn it into a polearm.
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Egan_BW

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Re: Silly/Useless Magical Items
« Reply #368 on: September 28, 2017, 07:31:55 pm »

Sproing Hammer

A normal small metal warhammer, except it acts like it's made of very elastic rubber when in contact with inorganic matter, and like a rigid hammer on contact with flesh.
Sounds like it'd be great for minimizing collateral damage, though armor would hamper it a lot.
Minimizing collateral damage? It's harmless against a knight's armor, but is fully bone-breaking against unarmored people, such as peasants.
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Rethi-Eli

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Re: Silly/Useless Magical Items
« Reply #369 on: September 28, 2017, 08:04:48 pm »

If it really does bounce and you're fighting monsters/unarmored foes, just hurl it, watch it fly around like a bat on drugs, and wear clothes while the world burns
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In the end, the winner is the one with the most snake venom.

Egan_BW

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Re: Silly/Useless Magical Items
« Reply #370 on: September 28, 2017, 08:13:03 pm »

Clothes count as organic, at least in a medieval setting. It would bounce off you if you wore rubber or something, but it's perfectly capable of smashing your ribs though your cotton tunic, after bouncing unpredictably off of some wall.
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Rethi-Eli

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Re: Silly/Useless Magical Items
« Reply #371 on: September 28, 2017, 10:02:49 pm »

*iron studded clothes

Either way, it's a great item for fucking up the day of a wandering monster. Just don't drop it in the mine. Unless it's a coal mine. Then you're safe.
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overseer05-15

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Re: Silly/Useless Magical Items
« Reply #372 on: September 29, 2017, 12:50:40 am »

coal mine
brilliant
Cole Mine: causes all people nearby to believe that any cole slaw they see belongs to you.
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adult food like, I presume, steak and potatoes and tax forms,

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GigaGiant

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Re: Bizarre Magical Items
« Reply #373 on: September 29, 2017, 12:50:53 am »

"Danger!" Dagger
A sharp steel dagger. Whenever you attempt to strike someone with it, it will yell out "Danger!"

Knee Cap
A special hat that also doubles as a knee pad. Offers little protection, however.

Glorious Saber of The Conquest of the Imperial Order
A saber with a really impressive sounding name. It's shiny.

Nose Ring of No Sing
A nose ring that prevents the user and all who gaze upon it from being able to sing.

Unlucky Hawk's Talon
A special item that causes the holder to become unlucky. Cancels out the effect of lucky rabbit's feet.
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IcyTea31

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Re: Bizarre Magical Items
« Reply #374 on: September 29, 2017, 01:08:59 am »

"Danger!" Dagger
A sharp steel dagger. Whenever you attempt to strike someone with it, it will yell out "Danger!"
Luckily, as talking is a free action, the strike can still count as a sneak attack. [/reference]
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There is a world yet only seen by physicists and magicians.
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