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[PTDfun]

Goose-Marked Sword: This sword can cut through anything. Unfortunately, it can only be used by goose knights.

I love this.

[PTDfun]

Belt of Pretentiousness When the wearer of this belt speaks, out come only cynically toned metaphors involving obscure cultural/historical/literary references that, if understood, turn out to have no meaning or significance.

Ring of Hay Fever Whenever the wearer of this ring sneezes, there is an explosion at a random point somewhere within 10 miles of the wearer.

Loveslayer curse A rapier. If Loveslayer is wielded to take a life, then a random person cared about by the wielder is fated to soon die a gruesome and painful death. (The wielder is included among the selection pool)

Wand of Passage Creates a portal to the other side of said portal.

Amulet of Uneventful Journeys Wearing this causes the user's experience to be wholly uneventful with no occurrences worthy of note.

Gauntlets of Fishlungs Causes the wearer's lungs to fill with water.

Salty Ring of Breathing A ring crafted entirely of salt. Allows the wearer to breath underwater, but only in freshwater.

Silly String A simple loop tied of thread. The wearer intermittently has compulsive fits of giggles triggered by the mundane.

Cap of schizophrenia While worn, a familiar is channeled from the cap. The familiar is undetectable by all but the wearer, and continually theorizes to the wearer that everything said to or done to the wearer is part of a bigger, hidden plot.

Cap Tin O' A tin cap which causes the wearer to blurt out statements about his/her surroundings that are really not worth saying.

Giants' Bracelet Wearing this bracelet makes someone quadruple in size - however, the bracelet does not.

[IamanElfCollaborator]

Giant's Sword A large sword that can't be picked up by anyone. If it were to b picked up, it immediately crushes the wielder under the weight of said sword.

Drill of Manhood A portable drill that when wielded, compels the user to attempt to drill into the sky. May or may not interact with the Cape of Manliness.

The One Ring A ring that makes you unable to wear more than one ring and makes the wielder obsessed with the number one. May or may not make the wielder speak in third person, mumble 'Precious' constantly or turn bald, thin and sickly.

A Rock A mundane rock. People seem to be assured that it has some sort of magical function and attempt to make it do something, even sacrificing themselves in the attempt to give the rock a blood sacrifice.

Bag of Food cursed An infinitely refilling bag of food....that happens to be food immensely high in fat to the point that eating it will induce heart attacks in several minutes. People are compelled to eat anyway.

[Ozarck]

Bowl of Spilling. The contents cannot be carried or consumed without making a mess.

The pants of shouting. The description is too horrible to tell.

The Thingy. Possibly a torture device? Maybe part of some larger mechanism? a sentient crystal, remnant of a bygone world? It's ... a thingy.
e Sta
Melvin's Jockstrap. This happens to the wearer, frequently: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0cBRpW2GGlc

The Dogs of Where? A large stone statue of three dogs on leashes which are tangled hopelessly. The statue is in constant, but useless, motion, as the dogs each try to run off in various directions.

Calvin's Peeing Hat. Emits streams of urine from an image of a precocious and rude child etched upon the front of the hat. For some reason, said image has a tendency to target sigils, wards, runes, and tigers.

[Harry Baldman]

Wand of Counterfeiting: when used on any object, causes a very low-quality imitation of it to regularly appear at markets all around the globe.

Wand of Inflation: instantly duplicates any sum of money while cutting its total market value by two thirds.

Legendary Jackass Hat +5: renders it impossible to remember anything about you aside from the obvious fact that you're an asshole.

Wand of Babies: creates 1d8 genetically identical infant copies of a given individual or a single such copy each of up to 1d8 individuals in close proximity to one another. Great tool for villains to use against hapless heroes! Or vice versa!

Wand of Personal Deluge: makes dead adult copies of a given individual or group of individuals rain from the sky for several hours.

Wand of the Future: it has chrome trim and a futuristic aesthetic! It makes things appear much more outdated than they really are.

Wand of Fire!: screams "FIRE!" extremely loudly when used. Intonation can be adjusted within reasonable parameters.

Wand of Forts: immediately constructs a box, pillow or snow fort around the user.

Wand of Freud: realigns the victim's brain to conform strictly and literally to any and all Freudian stereotypes.

Wand of Oedipus: destines the user to kill their father and fornicate with their mother, and destines the one or more individuals it is aimed at to be there to point and laugh after the fact. Looks like a perfectly nice Wand of Cloudkill otherwise.

[IamanElfCollaborator]

Wand of Jung: realigns the users brain to conform strictly and literally to all Jungian stereotypes. Do not use with the Wand of Freud.

Murderous Flintlock A flintlock pistol that grants the user an irresistible desire to shoot themselves in the head with it.

Bag of Rock cursed'A bag of vinyl records containing the worst hits of some unknown rock band.

[Trapezohedron]

Wand of Freud - Try quoting.

Bill Poster - Magically causes expensive bills dependent on location and context to appear, under your name. Also causes reality to retroactively conform to the new information spawned by it, creating new debts even on people who you didn't ask to loan you money and or anything of value.

Infinity Blade - A blade that is infinitely long as it is heavy. Does not appear to cause surface damage, despite being infinitely heavy. Sharp on all ends, and easy to avoid.

Cancerous Shard - A sharpened fragment of a diseased crab. May cause slight infections when applied kinetically on an organic surface; never cancer.

[hops]

( IS THAT AN INFINITY BLADE REFERENCE I SPY? )

[Tawa]

Breaker Sword - A zwëihander with an unusually thick blade. It is enchanted as to be holdable, but it is dull enough that a piece of pipe would perform about as well.

[BlitzDungeoneer]

Infinity+1 Sword: A sword that requires a person to add  to infinity+1 before it becomes usable.

[Harry Baldman]

Asymptotic Blade: when attempting to strike an enemy, they will begin to infinitely tend toward, but never touch the weapon in question unless disrupted somehow.

Fly Sword: the flat of the blade, when used to strike, absorbs a portion of the target's tasty nutrients if any can be extracted. They then accumulate on the blade to be licked off with impunity.

Necklace of Smiles: causes up to five body parts of the wearer to twist into a smile.

Paint of Defacement: when used on somebody's face, causes said face to peel off painlessly and harmlessly (if cosmetically unappealingly) over a period of a day.

[BlitzDungeoneer]

The Paint of Defacement isn't actually useless.

[Harry Baldman]

The Paint of Defacement isn't actually useless.

Nothing is useless. Some things merely have more apparent uses than others. But an edit has been made.

Grandmaster's Ring of Cautious Editing: allows you to change what you've said before you've even said it!

[Trapezohedron]

Sine Bow - A longbow that magically alters the fired projectile's arc into an arching oscillating sinewave pattern.

Ghost Arrows - Passes through surfaces. Is physically intangible the moment it is shot.

Naku - A blunt dagger-shaped throwing weapon that multiplies by two when not viewed within 24 hours by an intelligent creature. Weighs like plastic.

Scales of Favour - A weighing scale that lies about an object's weight 4/5 times, to the disadvantage of the owner. In the remaining 1/5, the scales tip very heavily to the owner's favour, often making it obvious that something is wrong with weighing scale and thus making you subject to the 4/5 percent.

Sidechain-chaku - A pair of nunchaku that pulse in and out of existence at a rate of 140 bpm.

Beat Grids - Knuckles that often cause the user to feel disconcerting hallucinations of repeating four one-second loops of an event that just happened immediately prior to when it started "glitching". Based on the user's heart rate, it may cause the user to feel an equivalent of one to four seconds of quavers or semiquavers.

[Mesa]

The Rainbow - a brightly-colored bow that causes all arrows fired from it to leave a rainbow trail behind them.