If sailing doesn't work, the only reasonable thing to do is mail Antarctica to CaptainMcClellan.
(0)
This does not work for obvious reasons.
Turn into a half digested flesh golem
[4]
Gross.
(7ft tall, dragonlike, acid-spitting dwarves )
Rebuild on the surface with the survivors.
[1]
SUDDENLY BEAR
Start setting them on fire. The holy grail is obviously immune to damage. Otherwise it would have long since rotted.
(0)
Congratulations, you destroyed the holy grail.
GM:Teleport back.
Player:Erm,do my finals?
[2] Trapped. Fuck muffins.
[4]You do them sorta okay. IT IS OVER, WINRAR
"Not as badly as I can overshoot."
Remind GM about my permanent +9001 bonus and stop the abomination the only way I can.
(0)
I cancelled it a way back, for obvious reasons.The monster is eating your arm.
Hmm.
Take ten bananas rocks turds and explain again, using them as a visual/tactile aid.
If he understands,
"As for headsmen, [Pause in case he cuts me off, already knowing this part], we pick out guys that are ok at leading & management and have them pay attention to the other monkeys in their squad. They report to us, and so instead of us having to walk 100 monkeys through their tasks & deal with small every-day complications, no one will have to deal with more than 25 & everything will run more smoothly. It'll be a much better system."
If he doesn't quite get it, use the turds again to make a command-tree.
"Not as badly as I can overshoot."
Remind GM about my permanent +9001 bonus and stop the abomination the only way I can.
Ha!
[6]
They get the picture. They do waste an hour making more poo models, though.
Mug a small child. Buy new bullets.
[5]
More bullets get!
Enlist the help of the GM in exchange for the potato chunks that the mining would leave, order the fleet to start spreading potatoism to the rest of the multiverse.
[4]
Done deal.
((Ok, from now on Imma just control the individual Gods in conversation))
Phenax: "I don't like this one. His deception puts even me to shame."
Athreos: "Maybe if you told the truth once a millenium..."
Pharika: "Quiet, the both of you. ((To GM)) That depends... are you offering..?"
[5]
Find me things I want, get shards of your immortality back. Agreed?Create a cat-people wide body of laws to regulate commerce, and a court to arbitrate disputes.
(1)
They couldn't be fucked. GOD DAMN IT LAZY CAT PEOPLE
I hate that pesky llama!
Is what I would say if I had a mouth.
>Sulk in my ruined, radioactive capitol. The fact that I'm a tank makes me immune to the rads, after all. Attempt to slowly rebuild.
[6]
It doesn't help that he's made a giant meat grinder in city hall.
"Never has processing so many corpses been this simple."((All these 1's I keep rolling are starting to smell fishy.))
Spontaneously open a wormhole to an alternate 'verse. Goad any inhabitants to war with these aliens.
[4]
They go to war. Granted, they are being held back by a single automated sentry, but they're trying.
CONTINUE PLOTIFICATION
[6]
Welp, you can go in this one.You wake up in a cell.
Start asking for volunteers from the reptiles and cat people.
[1]
They don't wanna.