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[Tonguetyd]

Now I'm very new to Dorf Fortress, so I may or may not be all that skilled yet. But at the very least, I've figured out how to play and that Keas are arseholes, but that's irrelevant.
What is relevant is that my "Fortress" has a problem. Children. They don't work. I don't like things that don't work.
So, the logical conclusion is to kill the little buggers.
That brings me to my other problem: I have little resources to get rid of them, and little skill as well. I do have access to iron and two military dwarves.
If anyone could help me, I'd appreciate it.

Oh, and my Militia Captain's got a baby. I don't need that one either.

[pisskop]

Burrow them oustide.  'nappers will love them more than you!

[Larix]

So, the logical conclusion is to choose your partner carefully.

FTFY. You're welcome

[JerDGold]

Oh, and my Militia Captain's got a baby. I don't need that one either.

AHAHAHA!

<-  Also pretty new to DF, this game is sick wit it.

I insist you order your militia captain to kill his own baby.

Please re-post results.

[GiglameshDespair]

Dig a 1 square ramp into the ground, and have a 1 tile tunnel going off that ramp. Burrow a child in the one square tunnel.

Build a floor over the ramp. The child will starve or die of thirst. As the body is never found, it effects no moods whatsoever! LAter, build a slab over the grave and laugh.

e.g.
Mine the ramp and the chamber

____  _____ z
###^_###  z-1

Child goes in the tunnel

____  _____ z
###^ ### z-1

Floor it off
___________ z
###^ ### z-1

problem solved.

[wierd]

Well isolated atom smasher "breakroom" works too.

Build walls around it, with double sets of doors. when the child goes in there to waste time, (as usual), lock and forbid the doors. ensure no animals are present. pull the lever.

NO BODY TO BE FOUND.

slab as soon as the ghost appears.

[Swonnrr]

Designate a meeting area, and set lead minecarts full of lead bars to run at full speed across that aera occasionally.
Anything that stay in there is not working, and so deserve whatever happens.

[Button]

Create small bedrooms and assign them to children. When they go back there, lock them in and let them starve to death.

To prevent more children from being born, you can modify the df.init file to disallow births.

[Tonguetyd]

Burrow them oustide.  'nappers will love them more than you!

Tried that one already, and it didn't work that time. Neither this time...

Oh, and my Militia Captain's got a baby. I don't need that one either.

AHAHAHA!

<-  Also pretty new to DF, this game is sick wit it.

I insist you order your militia captain to kill his own baby.

Please re-post results.

I tried, but seems you can't sic your Militia on kids and babbies. Shame.

Gonna try Wierd's and Giglamesh's suggestions next.

[GavJ]

1) 4/7 water will make a mother drop her baby.
2) Babies can be pushed by water into irretrievable fortification tiles.

So just wash mothers against fortification drains every so often, and the babies will drop and then get pushed into the fortifications and stay there. Literally a baby sieve.

Pretty inhumane (indwarfane?) though, to let them die of thirst. If you can figure out a way to atomsmash it would be better.




Children are much easier. They will respond to burrows, and thus you can simply burrow them on a bridge and retract it into magma or off a cliff or whatever. Simple.

[joeclark77]

Oh, and my Militia Captain's got a baby. I don't need that one either.

This is reason #2 why you don't arm women and train them for combat.

[GiglameshDespair]

You could then evacuate the mother from the chamber, and send a pulse of 7/7 water through the fortification. It should push the baby through where you could drop them into a atomsmasher. Would dispose of the water as well.

As long as no ones around to see it, did the baby get crushed by a bridge?

[Zac]

A danger room will work pretty well to get rid of the baby of your militia captain. build a room full of spike trap with wooden spear inside, link them to a pressure plate in your main hallway or a lever set to repeat task and make sure all your militia is fully equiped with copper at least. Then station them inside : no more babies and free defensive training for everyone.

[GiglameshDespair]

A mood hit though, and someone just trained to legendary in combat is not someone you want tantruming about their baby become +finely minced dorf baby+.

[GavJ]

In my experience, if somebody tantrums over the loss of a baby only, then you're probably doing something wrong elsewhere. Dwarves with proper rooms and legendary dining and all their clothing, and food and drink other than pond water, and without too much idle socialization, etc. should always be well able to weather that storm. CERTAINLY without berserking, at least, which is the real threat.

Obviously if something horrible just happened in your fort, then that's just not the right time to do baby culling...