SOLDIERS:
Slay Alessa
Roll for Alphanti: 3, +2, -1, +1 = 5, lost!
Roll for Alessa Von'Ravien: 6, = 6
Roll for damage: 1-1 = 1!
Alphanti has 2/5HP left!
Counter-smash that Commander D:<
Roll for Alessa Von'Ravien: 3, = 3
Roll for Flophouse Shouty: 2, +1, -1, -1 = 1, lost!
Roll for damage: 5-3 = 2dmg
Flophouse Shouty has 2/5HP left!
Slam my buckler 8 in quick succession at Barnabus' face..
Roll for Kirby: 2, = 2, lost!
Roll for Barnabus Von Beardington XVII: 4, = 4
Roll for damage: 6-2 = 4dmg
Kirby has -2/5HP left!
Kirby has been killed!
Attack Alphanti because god damn do I hate noble armor.
Roll for Gaston LaFou: 6, = 6
Roll for Alphanti: 4, +2, +1, = 7
Nothing happens.
Turn my ire on the one who hurt me. Attack the Bubin.
Roll for Jase Bladeheart: 4, lost!
Roll for Bubin: 6, +1 = 7
Roll for damage: 3-1 = 2dmg
Jase Bladeheart has -1/7HP left!
Jase Bladeheart is dead!
Bash whoever reaches me first upside the head with my crossbow, and then stab 'em.
Targeting Tallow Knight.
Roll for Bubin: 1, +1 = 2, lost!
Roll for Tallow Knight: 6
Roll for damage: 2-2 = 0!
Smash Kirby to death with my Morning Star.
This has already been done retroactively!
Smash the tallow knight open!
Roll for Axy McMann: 3, +1 = 4
Roll for Tallow Knight: 2 = 2, lost!
Roll for damage: 3+1-2 = 2dmg
Tallow Knight has 7/9HP left!
Hatchet the fair lady before me, this von Ravenface, hatchet her into the littlest of bits.
Roll for Flophouse Shouty: 4, +1, -1, -1 = 3, lost!
Roll for Alessa Von'Ravien: 6 = 6
Roll for damage: 7-3 = 4dmg
Flophouse Shouty has -1/7Hp left!
Flophouse Shouty plays a corpse!
Chop chop chop Bubbin!
Roll for Tallow Knight: 1 = 1, lost!
Roll for Bubin: 4, +1 = 5
Roll for damage: 1-2 = 0!