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[Yoink]

It is 7:47PM on Sunday evening. Poor, broke-ass Yoink is sitting in front of his computer in his tiny flat, feeling pretty damn bored.
You are going to cheer this mopey asshole up and take him out for a good ol' Australian drinking binge! ...Or die trying.

POST A BRIEF DESCRIPTION OF YOURSELF, AND THEN AN ACTION

WARNING: MAY DEVOLVE INTO MINIMALIST NONSENSE AT A MOMENT'S NOTICE       

[Harry Baldman]

A trained Swiss boozebear appears on the horizon, a barrel of booze attached to its hirsute back!

Locate Yoink. Booze him up a tad to encourage leaving home and going off to have fun.

[Yoink]

A trained Swiss boozebear appears on the horizon, a barrel of booze attached to its hirsute back!

Locate Yoink. Booze him up a tad to encourage leaving home and going off to have fun.

[3] Boozebear sadly does not know quite where Yoink lives. It has it narrowed down to the suburb, but it's been raining and even Yoink's unique stench isn't all that easy to track. Also, streetsigns are kinda tough for a bear. Especially a drunken one.

[TamerVirus]

De Laaager, muse of alcoholic beverages!

Appear and spawn high quality scotch in Yoink's hand

[Yoink]

De Laaager, muse of alcoholic beverages!

Appear and spawn high quality scotch in Yoink's hand

[1] You spawn halfway into the wall of the bathroom and are telefragged. Great, now there's a huge mess in the bathtub. Good thing Yoink doesn't use that too often! Respawn?

[TamerVirus]

Mola Ale, BLOOD DEMON OF PARTYING!

Rise out of the viscera of De Laaager's blood and guts, turn them into wine, offer it to Yoink!

[LordSlowpoke]

BE SELF

CHUG VODKA OUT OF WINE GLASS

[Yoink]

Mola Ale, BLOOD DEMON OF PARTYING!

Rise out of the viscera of De Laaager's blood and guts, turn them into wine, offer it to Yoink!

[3] You wake up in a dirty, yellowed bathtub filled with blood and gore. You wish it was wine.

BE SELF

CHUG VODKA OUT OF WINE GLASS

[3] You're at the [SUBURB] bus station. You're pretty sure that Yoink guy lives around here, right? Oh well. DRINK TIEM
[3] (WHAT IS GOING ON) You have a shotglass worth of cheap red wine. You drink it without much enthusiasm.

[blazing glory]

Have a jolly old time!,fairy of beer.

Give Yoink some skull whomper beer

[LordSlowpoke]

ACQUIRE YOINK

PUT IN INVENTORY

[TamerVirus]

Use demonic power to speed ferment EVERYTHING in the bathroom into booze

[Yoink]

Have a jolly old time!,fairy of beer.

Give Yoink some skull whomper beer

[4] You are at the bottom of the stairs outside Yoink's house.
[6] You have a large metal keg of very, very potent beer. Unfortunately you can't get it up the stairs!

ACQUIRE YOINK

PUT IN INVENTORY

[2] YOU CAN'T FIND HIM ;_;
You pour yourself another shot of wine. At the bus station. People are looking at you funny.

Use demonic power to speed ferment EVERYTHING in the bathroom into booze

[5] Everything inside of the bathroom somehow turns into alcohol. This is a minimalist RTD, what can I do?!
Unfortunately this includes yourself. RESPAWN?!
Actually wait, doesn't include you- you rolled a five, not a six.

[blazing glory]

Start flying in circles around Yoinks head until he's so annoyed at me he starts chasing me with a fly swatter.

[TamerVirus]

Give the mega bathroom alcohol to Yoink!

[LordSlowpoke]

ENLIST AID OF BUS STOP TO FIND AND ABSCOND WITH YOINK